August in DC has that ghost town feel, everyone’s gone - except the people wishing they were, and Senator Ron Wyden, who’s a little confused about where he should be on what days. Also, Dick Cheney, since he’s a robot, doesn’t need vacation and instead just continues to consume information. The Bush family, however, knows that when you take time off you really want to be able to relax - so Barbara Bush makes sure to travel with someone who’ll take care of Millie’s little messes on the beach.

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12:56 — First off: We shoud’ve been liveblogging the Gay Marriage debate instead. Secondly: Feinstein’s mic was left open long enough for us to hear her say, annoyedly, “He didn’t answer anything.” See ya at 1:30.

12:51 — The Feinstein questioning:

12:50 — So remember when Negroponte said people in secret prisons will remain there until the end of this open-ended War on Terror?

Hayden — Closed session.

How will we get good intelligence out of people who’ve been in secret prisons for 5 years?

Hayden — Closed session.

Waterboarding — hot or not?

Hayden — Closed session.

DoJ give you guys any new torture advice?

Hayden — Closed session.

Remember when the Inspector General said you guys were torturing people? Do you agree?

Hayden — Closed session.

Iran — you think they’re gonna get nukes pretty soon?

Hayden — Closed session. Oh, by the way, we are totally confident about our Iran intelligence. Yeah, it’s totally different from the Iraq thing. We, uh, learned lessons. Lessons were learned. Whoo boy, those lessons.

12:42 — Will you make a commitment that all the top officers at the CIA will be intelligence workers? Or something like that. Seems like an obvious yes. As CIA officials, they will be, by definition, intelligence officials. Right?

Hayden is bored and hungry. SO ARE WE.

He brought the question to NSA lawyers, three guys he trusts, with “a real comfort level,” that this was within the President’s authority. “They talked to me about Article 2.” Boy, that Article 2 — we should look that one up. Sounds like an exciting one.

Feinstein pushing hard on the “Everyone should follow FISA, and if you would just TELL US WHAT YOU WANT US TO CHANGE ABOUT FISA so you can legally keep doing what you’re currently doing illegally, we’re be MORE THAN HAPPY TO CHANGE IT. GET US OFF THE HOOK, HERE GUYS. WE DON’T WANT TO OVERSEE YOU! There’s a totally awesome gay marriage debate going on in the Senate right now that we’re missing ’cause of this bullshit.

“I want to ask you some questions about the fourth amendment.” She’s reading it to him! We thought he might do a double-take and drop his monocle when he heard the end of it. She should’ve said “SPOILER ALERT!” beforehand.

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Happy Hayden Confirmation Day! We, the unwashed masses, shall get the sanitized, boring hearing, and we’ll like it, dammit, while the cool kids on the intelligence committee will hold the real one in a locked room with no lights on, whispering all their super top secret questions. Yeah, the guy’s a lock. Go democracy! It’s an inspiring tale, really, that a guy who can’t remember the entirety of the fourth amendment and who’s personally responsible for an illegal domestic spying program that sidesteps congressional oversight completely can win the support of said congress with a few well-timed secret briefings. You exercise those powers, Senate! MORE »