Wonkette

The fallout continues over last weekend’s Paultardpalooza festival in Washington D.C., which your Wonketteers bravely attended for seven minutes between episodes of drinking. If you can imagine, many hobbits on Ron Paul Forums are making strained “mental leaps” between fiction and reality. They were already convinced that our Wonkette faction was a deranged militia of “addicts and derelicts” who — much like the British Army several hundred years ago — would shoot at them with muskets, if necessary, to protect George W. Bush’s tea tax. Now they’ve assumed something far more profound: that one of us was this fat, shirtless lout who went around beating up their women and children. And our punishment shall be swift and merciless: they tell us that we are “on the list.” Anything but the list! MORE »

The Paultards are onto us, the “addicts and derelicts.” We were only planning on going to the March drunk, not on drugs, although that sounds like a pretty good idea now that they’ve mentioned it. Anyway, we’ll have details for our 9 a.m. Saturday Paultardpalooza Pre-gaming by the end of the afternoon. If you’re interested in coming (most likely to a bar around Capitol Hill), please send an e-mail to tips@wonkette.com, with subject line “HOT NAKED FLAPPERS.” We just want to get a basic headcount. [Ron Paul Forums]

Thanks to commenter “floraway” for ruining all of our fun and linking to an article about Ron Paul’s big announcement tonight, which will be that he is ending his presidential campaign for the 80th time in order to launch a new campaign, for Liberty. As far as we can tell, that Olde English shit is the official logo for Dr. Congressman Paul’s latest gig, which, as per usual, will be a scam to take your Gas Money. You can read his (premature) concession letter at the Campaign for Liberty’s website. It is notable for overtly publicizing his glorious new book, Ron Paul’s Manifesto Pool Party. Anyway, let’s see how our old pals at Ron Paul Forums are taking the news. Is this just another Main Stream Media conspiracy? MORE »

As we know, Ron Paul’s Manifesto book has been quite the hot ticket in literary circles, making #1 on Amazon.com’s and the New York Times’ bestseller lists. And why not? It’s the best book since Ulysses, a famous Liberal Novel. So now the only question is, why would Barnes & Noble suppress Ron Paul’s political ideology by not placing his book at the front of one of their stores? Let’s join our old pals at Ron Paul Forums, who have raised this important question. MORE »

Not that it would have any effect on the Paultard rEVOLution, but how are the hobbits taking the news Main Stream Media Lie that Ron Paul has quit? We checked out everyone’s favorite Ron Paul Forums, and here’s the answer: Abraham Lincoln, John McCain’s “greasy grass,” and ninjas. Something involving those three things, and Liberty Ameros. MORE »

Over at Huck’s Army, a forum for Mike Huckabee supporters, they are reveling in John McCain’s horrible lobbyist sex affair corruption scandal. Clearly, God told Mike Huckabee that the New York Times would publish this story, and that’s why he’s being such a stooge and staying in the race. In other fringe candidate Internet forum news, we are still too scared to see how Ron Paul Forums is handling these revelations. [Huck's Army via Raw Story]

Over at our favorite place on the whole Internet, Ron Paul Forums, they are very worried: MORE »

So. Ron Paul wins nothing, ever. Fortunately — according to our dear friends at Ron Paul Forums — every delegate will exercise his or her right to vote for Ron Paul at the convention. MORE »

OK, we’ve only got one screen shot of hilarious Ron Paul Forums strategy this time, but it’s v. v. special indeed! Check out this first part: “So what do sheep do? Follow? Go with the majority? Go with the flow? Follow the trend?” Yes, yes, whatever, all of that, please explain further! MORE »

In one of the better recent threads at Ron Paul Forums yesterday, someone floated the idea of courting Neil Armstrong’s support based on a blurb from the famous astronaut’s Wikipedia page: “The first man to walk on the Moon was also approached by political parties from both ends of the spectrum. Unlike former astronauts and United States Senators John Glenn and Harrison Schmitt, Armstrong has turned down all offers.” Later in the thread however, Armstrong’s ties with the CORPORATES are revealed — he’s a Freemason and a Skull & Bonesman, it seems, and therefore made up the moon landing! MORE »