Tag: ron paul

This is of course ridiculous. Fluttershy wouldn't even make it to the stage.

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, October 4, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!
Amusing alt-text for image

Wonkagenda: September 21, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Wingnuts Will Never Forgive Michelle Obama For Outlawing Bacon Sundaes In Schools

Michelle Obama, Queen First Lady of our hearts, has long cared deeply about America's obesity crisis, particularly among kids. How have right-wingers been dicks to her about it over the years? Let us count the ways. First, some quick backstory....

Wingnuts Agree: Obama Murdered Scalia Just Like He Murdered Breitbart And America

Well, that didn't take long. Within hours of Saturday's death of Antonin Scalia, the Wingnuttosphere was having a fine old time explaining it's UNPOSSIBLE for a 79-year-old Supreme Court justice to die of natural causes, because Reasons. There has...
Hey, it makes as much sense as the original

If GOP Candidates Were This Funny In Real Life, We Might Like Them!

Good news: We live in U.S. America, where we get to democratically elect our leaders, kind of, except for that one time the Supreme Court did it for us, GRRRRRRRRRR RAGE FACE, never getting over that.   Bad news: Our candidates...
Perry seems to have better technique

More Than Corndog Fellatio Pics: The Iowa State Fair, Wonksplained

Every few years, we are #blessed with photos of politicians deep-throating a corndog at Iowa’s state fair. But did you know that there is more to the Iowa State Fair than hot politician-on-food pics? There's enough meat-on-sticks to make...
We were a more innocent nation back then

Where Were You When Michele Bachmann Became Princess Of Iowa 4 Years Ago?

It was a simpler time, a time before Benghazi, a time before the Obamacare computers were all kerflooey, a time when America still believed it was possible for a bright-eyed crazy lady who never quite focused on your face...
In a better, stronger America, this sticker would be larger. Damn you, John McCain!

Oath-Keepers Founder: Let’s Hang John McCain For Being Hitler

Hey, what are those charming Oath Keepers up to this week, as part of their Keeping of Oaths? How about the anti-government militia group's founder, Stewart Rhodes, calling for Sen. John McCain to be tried for treason for his...

Ted Cruz’s Dry-Drunk Daddy Will Save The Jews From Obama, For Jesus

Ted Cruz's ex-drunk ex-deadbeat dad, Rafael, is a swell guy who loves to spread The Good Word about how God hand-selected his boy Ted to be the next president of the United States of Jesus. And also, of course,...
Actually ...

Happy Rand Paul Is Running For President Day, Everyone!

It's another glorious day in U.S. America, because according to our calendar -- which we marked with lots of lolz and smiley faces and some more lolz -- today is the day Senator Doctor Rand Paul declares he is...
Not actually from Idaho; might as well be

Idaho Republicans Vote To Ban Judeo-Christian Jesus

In a shocking rejection of the Lord, Idaho's Kootenai County Republican Central Committee has refused to move forward proposed resolution to declare Idaho a "Christian state." Tuesday night's vote greatly disappointed God, His Only Begotten Son, and the members...
You know who else served stale croissants while yammering about liberty to a crowd?

Ron Paul Escapes Tethers In Son’s Basement, Heads To Fun Secession Conference For Fun

How much fun are we going to have in 2016 watching a couple of the candidates in the GOP clown car gagging their insane fathers, shoving them into canvas sacks and dumping them into the Potomac, only to have...
We have to be civilized about this

Conservatives Oppose Executing Mentally Ill Texas Man, For Good Of Death Penalty

Here's a story for your "Wait, conservative Christians said what?" files. Back in October, we mentioned the case of Scott Pannetti, a Texas inmate who is severely schizophrenic and believes he had to kill his in-laws as part of...
Tea Partier, or Renaissance Fair anachronism?

Anti-Government Loon Shot Up Austin, Has Nothing To Do With Other Anti-Government Loons

Here's something you may have missed if you spent the weekend driving to Missoula and back so you could read some Kurt Vonnegut lovey-dovey stuff at your boss's wedding. An antigovernment gun nut drove around downtown Austin, Texas, in...
He went to some kind of medical school?

Dr. Rand Paul Just Looking Out For Hillary’s Health Because She’s SOOOOOO OLD Is All

In case you hadn't heard in the last five minutes that Sen. Rand Paul would like to be president, surprise! Rand Paul would like very much to be president. (Spoiler alert: Rand Paul is not going to be president.) Not...
He went to some kind of medical school?

Ron Paul Tells Dumb Son To Shut His Big Stupid Yap

Grab your popcorn, it's time for another round of Republican Daddy Issues: Ron Paul, who is a medical doctor, pointed out that an estimated 3,000 to 49,000 people died every year from influenza, but no one was considering a travel...