Ron Paul Hates Freedom & Democracy (In Iran)
Friday, June 19th, 2009
If there’s one thing everybody can agree upon, it’s that the brave democracy protesters in Iran deserve at least our moral support, right? It’s not like it costs money or risks our safety to, say, put a “me too” green stripe on our dumb blogs, right? NO WRONG, IDIOTS, Ron Paul just cast the lone opposing vote on the harmless House Resolution 560, “Expressing support for all Iranian citizens who embrace the values of freedom, human rights, civil liberties, and rule of law, and for other purposes.” MORE »











It’s December, 2007 all over again! Out of nowhere come the Paultards, today, wanting more War.
We’re a day late to this one and have no time for long, meandering first paragraphs about nothing. Here’s the deal: The Politico has written a pornographic
Reader “Emily” sends us this mysterious photo from Chicago, which appears to be a Paultard car, only without the R at the beginning of Dr. Paul’s famous slogan. “I still really couldn’t believe this was a thing,” she writes. So, question: IS THIS A THING?
Wonkette’s secret Eastern European money-laundering operative “Adam” sends this photo and writes: “Hey, I was in Poland last week traveling and I came across this ad. For real, is that the Doc Paul? Is he creating a freedom revolution FOR POLISH EYEGLASSES!!????” The answer is no. That is clearly Magneto, maybe.
We’ve already set aside several boxes of popcorn for one of 2010’s most anticipated comedy stories, when idiot Kentucky Sen. Jim Bunning will make a fool of himself daily in the process of losing his Senate seat. And now the hilarity might start even sooner, because Ron Paul’s child, Rand (”The Son”), might primary Bunning. Rand Paul has the exact same views as his father, so it should take about two minutes of money supply babble before Bunning gets uncomfy and calls Rand a faggot. [
Okay this explains basically everything written on Wonkette for the past few months. Ron Paul is getting himself a little following among his colleagues on the Hill, see? He’s been throwing
Impossibly enough, this post isn’t about teabag protests but is about Ron Paul. That’s right, you guessed it, it is instead about whether Congress should distribute “letters of marque and reprisal” to stop pirates and stuff. This is one of those old-timey things that, to people in 1789, was a pretty clutch inclusion in the Constitution — kind of like assigning an accurate fractional electoral value to slaves. Ron Paul wants Congress to start using this power to send forth Privateers to the high seas. Back in the halcyon days of Mercantilism, the king or queen or dauphin would send private aristocratic warships out to sea to steal other countries’ ships and their booty, for Royal Profit. Sometimes those victimized countries would get so upset that they might retaliate with, say, A SPANISH ARMADA. This is all Ron Paul wants now, and that’s why he can’t have it. [