Tag Archives: ron johnson

  #MadAboutAThing

Senator Ron Johnson To Little Lady Senator: Pics Or GTFO

Wisconsin’s Ron Johnson (R-Of course) has only been a member of the United States Senate for about five minutes (technically he was elected in 2010, which in Senate years is five minutes), but he sure knows a thing or three about how there has never been a single moment of less-than-perfect decorum. (He was not yet in the Senate when Vice President Dick Cheney told Sen. Patrick Leahy to quote unquote GO FUCK YOURSELF back in 2004, so that wouldn’t even count.) Read more on Senator Ron Johnson To Little Lady Senator: Pics Or GTFO…
  Beat the press

Who Won Battleground Ferguson: Po-Po Or Journos? The Answer Will Amaze You!

gassy
  Still Life With Al Jazeera and Teargas. Image from video by KSDK As the teargas wafts away from the streets of Ferguson, Missouri, and the some of the members of the media covering the Mike Brown protests start to drift away to cover more pressing stories like the VMAs, let’s take a look back to see who came out ahead in the Battle to Cover Ferguson: the po-po or the journos. Read more on Who Won Battleground Ferguson: Po-Po Or Journos? The Answer Will Amaze You!…
  tales of a social media nothing

Police Officer Learns Not To Share Every Racist Thought He Has About Ferguson

If you are a cop who has been working in Ferguson for the last couple of weeks, you have already engaged in some egregiously stupid shit. Might we suggest you not compound your already-monstrous civil action liabilities by using your Twitter accounts to lie about the ongoing protests or yap about how much you would like to punch Attorney General Eric Holder in the face? Read more on Police Officer Learns Not To Share Every Racist Thought He Has About Ferguson…
  paging captain ron

Eric Holder Will Save Captain Ron’s Marriage So He Can Keep Saving Ferguson

brohug
Attorney General Eric Holder spent Wednesday checking on the progress of Barack Obama’s tyrannical federal takeover of Missouri, and while he was there, he had what we assume is a totally coincidental path-crossing with Ron Johnson, captain of the State Highway Patrol and Guy Who’s In Charge Around Here. Holder had taken a break from inspiring local community college students and usurping the state’s right to gloss over its own (potential) wrongdoing to have some lunch at Drake’s Place in Ferguson. Happenstancely, that’s just when Ron Johnson got hungry too! What are the odds? (The odds are nil because obviously, Ron Johnson is a MACHINE that runs on adrenaline and integrity.) Read more on Eric Holder Will Save Captain Ron’s Marriage So He Can Keep Saving Ferguson…
  seems legit

Now Captain Ron Johnson Is a Gang Member, Sure Why Not

'bout to start a riot probably
Thank goodness we live in a POST-RACIAL SOCIETY, where black people are not automatically suspected of being gang members for making shapes with their hands. Hahaha, just kidding! Everyone knows black people use their hands like this, white people use their hands like that. So now, in addition to the foregone conclusion that Ferguson teen Michael Brown was most definitely a gangsta hopped up on marijuana and rap music, some doofus on the interwebs is just wonderin’ if Missouri Highway Patrol Captain Ron Johnson may also be flashing gang signs, as every single black person does because they are all in gangs, as we all know. Thankfully and tragically, the Washington Post is here to dispel that rumor: Read more on Now Captain Ron Johnson Is a Gang Member, Sure Why Not…
  Thugghazi

Laura Ingraham Explains That Thugs Gonna Thug

Think tank is so thinky
In times of civil unrest and racial tension and cops killing unarmed black teenagers, the number one expert you want to explain it to you is wingnut radio gum-flapper Laura Ingraham. That’s just obvious, at least if you are a Fox & Friends bobblehead: Read more on Laura Ingraham Explains That Thugs Gonna Thug…
  Our Post-Racial Racists

Donald Trump Has More Thoughts About The Blacks

Including the date makes it worse, somehow
Just in case you worry that the Liberal Media doesn’t give sufficient attention to all sides of controversial issues, Wonkette is pleased to bring you the views of some goober-brained fuckheads on the recent unrest in Ferguson, Missouri. First up: In St. Louis, Missouri, a few dozen protesters showed up at a rally Sunday in support of Darren Wilson, the Ferguson cop who shot and killed Michael Brown. It was billed as a counter-protest to the rallies in Ferguson, and was presumably held in St. Louis because why would they go to Ferguson, are you crazy? Read more on Donald Trump Has More Thoughts About The Blacks…
  It's Baaaaaack

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday Returns, Now With 40% More Racial Tension

Mom always read the Times to us dring the Nixon administration
Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday is back, kids, and of course we have to start our perusal of the Newspaper of Record with its coverage of events overnight in Ferguson, Missouri. Not surprisingly, the midnight curfew declared by Gov. Jay Nixon yesterday didn’t exactly bring peace and quiet — demonstrations continued, the police fired tear gas, and seven demonstrators were arrested. Why the tear gas, after Capt. Ron Johnson had promised that it wouldn’t be used? At a press conference, Johnson Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday Returns, Now With 40% More Racial Tension…
  Top Cops

A Snark-Free Welcome to Captain Ron Johnson, New King of Ferguson

Greetings, Captain Ron Johnson of the Missouri State Highway Patrol. Photo: Jamil Smith via Twitter It’s not true what they say. Liberals, even liberals from the big city, don’t hate everyone in law enforcement. Speaking on behalf of the liberal media cabal, we’re behind you, Ron Johnson, in the dicey assignment you’ve just been handed as the new top cop in Ferguson. You seem like a good choice. We don’t blame you for the almost comical overreaction of the police over the past several days of protests, since you were not in charge. You are as innocent as a newborn baby to us because like pretty much everyone in America we have no reason to have heard of you. Read more on A Snark-Free Welcome to Captain Ron Johnson, New King of Ferguson…
  that's a clown question bro

Idiot Senator Complains About Lack Of Benghazi Briefings He Skipped, Just Like The Other Idiots (UPDATE!)

Come on. What difference does it make that Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, last seen getting clowned by Hillary Clinton, wasn’t at the intelligence briefing on Benghazi? At John Kerry’s somnolent confirmation hearing for Secretary of State on Thursday, Kerry showed up Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Galt’s Gulch), on the latter’s very serious public crusade to get to the bottom of the killing of the American Ambassador in Benghazi — revealing that Johnson himself didn’t attend the intelligence briefing. (SEE UPDATE BELOW.) Perhaps he was busy at the press conference where Walnuts, Graham, and whatsername, WHERE’STHEGIRL, were complaining that they weren’t getting intelligence briefings, while the intelligence briefing was going on. Read more on Idiot Senator Complains About Lack Of Benghazi Briefings He Skipped, Just Like The Other Idiots (UPDATE!)…
  it's a mad mad mad mad mad mad world

Michelle Malkin: No One Is Mad Enough About Benghazi Except Michelle Malkin

Tiny rage-fueled harridan Michelle Malkin is VERY MAD you guys! EXTREMELY MAD. Yr Wonkette is aware that this is typically no news whatsoever, but today she is mad at the GOP for being “sychophantic” to…wait for it…Hillary Clinton. Did Michelle Malkin see the same hearings we saw yesterday? The one where Rand Paul said he would have “relieved her from her post” in the imaginary land where Rand Paul is president? The one where John McCain blather-berated her endlessly, while silently seething, STILL, that he is not president? Michelle Malkin did not see these things! Instead, she saw a land where the GOP was just TOO DARN DEFERENT. Read more on Michelle Malkin: No One Is Mad Enough About Benghazi Except Michelle Malkin…
  also too benghazi

Let’s Watch Hillary Clinton Yell At Some Idiot Senator!

Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi Beyonce. Read more on Let’s Watch Hillary Clinton Yell At Some Idiot Senator!…
  when things come undone

Sen. Ron Johnson Considers Classic ‘Pivot’ Of Firing Everyone

Any savvy DC insider worth a toot knows that the most effective senators, historically speaking, are the ones who fire all of their legislative staff to focus more on jabbering idiotic nonsense to no one. This was basically the thesis of Schoolhouse Rock, after all “I’m just a bill. Yes, I’m only a bill. And I’m sitting here on Capitol Hill, waiting to be not written by Ron Johnson, who is useless.” Read more on Sen. Ron Johnson Considers Classic ‘Pivot’ Of Firing Everyone…
  major oily ron

Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. Opponent Ron Johnson Owns Lots of BP Stock

Despite Ernest J. Pagels, Jr.’s brilliant campaign against homosexuality, abortion, and pornography, the Wisconsin GOP Convention endorsed “Oshkosh businessman” (the place or the child overalls?) Ron Johnson. This afternoon the DSCC e-mailed us a press release letting us know that Ron Johnson owns stock in evil oil spiller British Petroleum. This is supposed to make us want to support the Democratic candidate Russ Feingold. Yet, the fact is, Russ Feingold also owns stock in businesses, some of which are probably also bad sometimes. You know who doesn’t own stock in businesses? Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. Read more on Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. Opponent Ron Johnson Owns Lots of BP Stock…