Tag: ron johnson

It's been a long year

Your Senate Sunday Is FREE AT LAST!

Let's take one last look at some of the top Senate races, for America!

Trader Joe’s Fires Guy For Wearing Insufficient Pieces Of Flair

Not content with pushing speed sludge to the entire world at all times, Starbucks is yet again trying to save the Union from itself. On Tuesday, Starbucks rolled out a new landfill-bound cup. In an attempt to foster some...

Ted Cruz Finally Sells Out. Your Wonkagenda: November 4, 2016

Trump scares U.S. intel, Obama fixed the economy, and the Old Grey Lady will do anything for money. Your Morning News Brief!

Wonkagenda: Thursday, October 27, 2016

Trump wants to love all the black people, Jason Chaffetz re-un-re-unndorses, and Ted Cruz cries. Your morning News Brief!

Paul Ryan Campaigning With Donald Trump, But SHHHHHHHH, It’s Too Embarrassing!

They are going to the county fall fest in Wisconsin! They will eat cotton candy and get stuck on top of the ferris wheel together maybe!
He is an actual, biological tortoise. And NRA stooge.

Mitch McConnell Kills Nice Bipartisan Gun Bill, Because He’s Mitch McConnell

Mitch McConnell, faced with the risk of allowing a vote on a widely supported gun bill that the NRA didn't like, pulled a pretty neat switcheroo. Give the old coot credit for being crafty.
Never gets old. The picture, we mean.

Sad Republicans Would Rather Campaign With Stinky George W. Bush Than That Mean Trump Boy

Endangered Republican senators are worried Donald Trump may hurt their chances in the fall, so they're getting campaign help from a truly popular Republican: George W. Bush, who's only unpopular with half the country.
You want hash brownies with that?

Sen. Ron Johnson: Let’s Stop Drugs With Those Ads That Didn’t Work The First Time

Wisconsin Sen. Ron Johnson may have voted against funding to fight the opioid epidemic with treatment, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have ideas on the topic. For one thing, he says, maybe we could bring back those "this...
It's not the bunny suit per se that bothers me. It's the inevitable fan art.

Deleted Comments: Stop Failing To Recognize Donald Trump’s Genius!

There was another horrific terrorist attack in Europe last week, and so there were, as seems to be mandatory, a whole bunch of Internet Commandos ready to put the tragedy into its proper context, which is The Muslims Want...
It's almost as if we wanted one of these gents to look bad.

Russ Feingold Seeks To Retake Senate Seat From Teabagger Crapsack Ron Johnson

We've got another fun Senate race for you this week, kids, and this one's actually a rematch: In Wisconsin, former Sen. Russ Feingold wants to win back the seat that teabagger, would-be Obamacare-murderer, and all around schmuck Ron Johnson...

Remember To Vote This November To Re-Elect Justice Scalia For President Of The Supreme Court

Check out the Republican Party, spreading a stinking pile of plucked-directly-from-their-buttcracks lies again. As per usual. This week's elephant dung is the myth that that The American People, not The American President Elected By The American People (TWICE!), have the God-given right to select justices...

Senate Republicans Quite Conflicted About Whether To Do Their Job

Oh, what an awkward spot of bother the Grand Old Party has found itself in. Again. Approximately one half second after the world learned of the sudden vacancy on the Supreme Court (and oh yeah, P.S., thoughts and prayers to Antonin...
Bet those kids can't wait to get back to the sun, sand, and occasional automatic weapons fire. Oh, and the rapes.

GOP Senator: Sure, Kids Deported To Honduras Might Die, But It’s So Pretty There

Remember how all those children were "invading" our southern border from Central America last year, and it was the greatest crisis America ever faced, until some guy in Texas had Ebola? Well it turns out that a lot of...
How dare he raise money to run against a Republican!

Wisconsin’s Russ Feingold Will Buy Old Senate Seat With Hollywood Jew Moneys

Former Wisconsin Sen. Russ Feingold is running to win back the seat he lost in 2010, and online rightwing rag Washington Free Beacon would just like you to know that he's getting a lot of money from Jews, Hollywood,...
Things were a lot more carefree in WW II

Senate Republicans Love All Veterans Except Gay Kind

It's great to know how much Republicans love The Troops, as long as The Troops are about to go blow some stuff up somewhere and keep the world safe for whatever it is we're keeping safe this month. Once...
Good job everyone!

Surprise! GOP Plan To ‘Fix’ Obamacare Will Just Make It Worse

Here's a fun fact you already knew, but now there is math to back it up. That Republican Senate bill to salvage Obamacare tax subsidies (while still gutting other parts of Obamacare), just in case the Supreme Court overturns them and...