Tag: ron fournier

Congress Votes To Crap Its Pants, Surrender To ISIS

In an inspiring act of defeatocrat cowardice, the House of Representatives voted Thursday to pass its emergency OH GOD NOT ANOTHER ORWELLIAN-NAMED BILL, the SAFE Act, to let ISIS know good job, guys, you're winning, keep up the good work! The...
Except for this one franchise! They love the gays!

Republicans Are So In Love With Chick-Fil-A Maybe They Should Gay Marry It

National Journal, Ron Fournier’s Church of Both Sides Do It, is out with some Very Serious Journalism™: It turns out that, after Chick-fil-A was outed as a shitty fast-food company run by gay-hating Christianists oppressed by the Gay Mafia...

GOP Rep Just Sure Obama Really Loves Those Mooslims He’s About To Bomb

See that crew cut up there? That’s Scott Perry, representative for Pennsylvania’s fourth congressional district, spanning a wide swath along the portion of the state known as Pennsyltucky, which is basically everything between Philly and Pittsburgh, a general morass...
Glad that's all behind us now

Obama Is Bad Commie, Shrinks Deficit Again

Do you remember the Great Deficit Panic of 2011? How Obamacare and The Stimulus and the GM Bailout were going to bankrupt the country? How our children were going to be left roaming the streets, forced to dumpster-dive for...
Our eyes will be on Old Handsome Joe. We hear Obama's going to talk, too.

Serious Pundit Ron Fournier Blesses Us With A State Of The Union Viewing Guide, Oh Joy

Bland centrist Ron Fournier, who seems to aspire to be David Broder without all the edginess, has graced us with some standards for judging Barack Obama's State of the Union address tonight. Needless to say, he thinks the Republican...
Still the worst

Evil Obama Planned To Send Secret Messages To Browns Only

Thank goodness for the wingnuts, who are keeping tabs on El Jefe Barack de la Martinez Diaz Obama and his conspiracy with the racists of La Raza to stealthily send hordes of brown people to conquer America while all...
Important thoughts from a man who looks like a thumb.

Serious Pundit Ron Fournier Tries To Defend Himself, Re-Steps On His Own Dick

Poop spigot Ron Fournier took quite a hiding on the Internet yesterday over his regular outbreak of “both sides-ism,” and rightly so. Today he is back to try to explain himself with a whiny and defensive column that still...
Was there any other picture we could have used?

Serious Pundit: Dumb Obama Forced GOP To Vote Against GOP Healthcare Plan

Ron Fournier has written many dumb columns in his career. In fact, Ron Fournier has written only dumb columns in his career. But today he has outdone himself by gracing our political centrists, yearning as they are for some...
And that's just in the editorial pages.

America’s Editorial Writers Fear Ebola, Should Fear Plague Of Stupid

Time now to turn to our nation’s vaunted editorial pages for the smartest, hottest takes on President Obola’s response to this deadly plague that has so far sickened exactly two of our nation’s 330 million citizens. BURN THE BODIES!...
There are very few pulp novels about Cartagena. Market opportunity!

Terrible Obama Covers Up 25-Year-Old Volunteer Gettin’ It Wet With Prosties

We are apparently supposed to be outraged and scandalized by this new wrinkle on the 2012 Secret Service Sexxytime Scandal: It wasn't just Secret Service agents foolin' around with hookers before Barack Obama's April 2012 trip to Cartagena, Colombia....
Sarah IS the Murrieta Protester

Why Is Obama Race-Warring These White People By Making Them Scream At The Border Children?

You know how the Republican Party holds a weekly lottery, and the lucky winner gets to be the spokesderp who explains why Democrats are the REAL something-or-others? The real racists, the real sexists, the real bigots, the real warring...

Glitchy Obamacare Websites Basically Like That Time George Bush Mission Accomplished Iraq And Also Katrina

Are you having trouble keeping track of all the stupendously mind-numbingly bad Obamacare analogies? Yes, it is just like Hitler. No, it is not an iPhone. It is sort of like Green Eggs and Ham. Well, thanks to National...

Ron Fournier: Judge George W. Bush By His Bro-Ness, Not His Horribleness

Ron Fournier, the bland and slightly repugnant grocery store brand breakfast cereal of journalism, is very concerned with the state of his profession. No he’s not worried about his fellow commentators once again engaging in hysterical nonsense regarding terrorism,...

AP Wingnut Also Concerned About Teleprompter Usage

The Washington press corps has come full circle, everyone! Famous Karl Rove-loving wingnut Ron Fournier, who is somehow the Washington Bureau Chief for the AP, has written crucial News Analysis of the Obama press conference last night. We know...

Rudy Giuliani To Defend Sarah Palin From Sexist Elites

John McCain's best friend Ron Fournier, the Washington editor of the Associated Press, has written a nice news analysis about, what else, Sexism. He notes that McCain strategist Steve Schmidt's dismissal of the "faux media scandal designed to destroy...

AP's NEW D.C. CHIEF HEARTS KARL ROVE: That newish Associated Press Washington bureau chief, Ron Fournier, is making AP copy all dumb and bloggy. Also, he e-mailed this to Karl Rove about Pat Tillman, the anti-Iraq War hero who...