Tag: romney

Mitt Romney's advisers try to talk the candidate into another run after his crushing 2012 loss.

Mitt Romney Still A Dumb Jerk, Some More, Again

Business Insider has yet another entry in the ongoing saga that is MittWatch ’16. Another “member” of the “inner circle” of that cock tease the Duke of Salt Lake, Willard Mitochondria Phlegmatic Hustings Coffeepot Romney XII, leaks that the...

New AP Poll: Americans Are Dumb And Petty, Like Always (And Also Romney Is Winning)

OH CRAP ROMNEY'S AHEAD BY TWO POINTS IN THE LATEST AP POLL AND THE LADIES ALL LOVE HIM NOW TIME TO FREAK OUT??? No, don't worry, libs, your math and numbers boyfriend Nate Silver still has Barry with a...

Mitt Romney Not Waiting Around All Day For You To Return His Call About Your Dead Son, Lady

Mitt Romney is a very busy man, you guys. He is busy now that he’s running for president, and he was busy back when he was a governor. So if your son dies and he gives you a call...

Romney Taps Ryan For VP: Our Tape-Delayed Liveblog To Honor America’s Olympians

In case you missed it, Mitt Romney picked Rep. Paul Ryan (WI) as his running mate. Here is how they did it: First, they notified Twitter. (Darrell Issa is convening a panel to investigate the national security leaks coming...

Oh Boy Mitt Romney Really Hates Paying Taxes

Oh LOOK what a typist at the Los Angeles Times found out about the Romney’s multi-million dollar home in La Jolla (that’s pronounced La HOY-uh for you Midwesterners, and yes, this is the one with the $55,000 car elevator)!...

Guy Who Thinks Small Business Loans Aren’t ‘Government Help’ Also Can’t Tell Cusses From Threats

So it turns out that the business owner in that dumb Romney ad about the fake "You didn't build that" line, and who it turns out actually did rely on government loans and contracts for some of his business,...

Here Is Glenn Beck’s Very Unique 2012 Electoral Map

Well, over on whatever website or smelly airwave Glenn Beck currently resides, Beck and his friends/unpaid interns have decided to make some predictions about the 2012 presidential election upon which the fate of the universe rides. Here is Glenn's...

Barack Obama Would Like Anyone With A Gift Registry To Just Give To Him Instead

President Obama, that is his name, has come up with a brilliant new way to try to beat his opponent Mitt Romney at money-making, despite the fact that they seem to have more money than anyone would need to...

Typo Changes Everything We Know About Obama, Despite Being Typo

A 1990 article in a hard-hitting publication called Vanity Fair either accidentally revealed a state secret: Obama spent some years in Singapore, not Indonesia, as a child! OR pooooossibly, but this is not very likely, an uninformed intern wrote...

Paultards Traumatized By Rand Paul’s Romney Endorsement

Well, tragedy has struck in Ron Paul's kingdom. Rand Paul endorsed Mitt Romney Thursday night on Sean Hannity's show, presumably because he has been promised some high-profile position in Mitt's Barbie and Ken's Dream House™ cabinet. While those pioneering...

Jeb Bush, Liberated By His Own Irrelevance, Says GOP Is ‘Short-Sighted’

Remember a very long time ago, during a Republican presidential debate last August (oh my god, TIME), when one of those moderator fellows asked the candidates whether they would reject a debt deal that required 10 dollars in spending...

Ghost Of Breitbart Convinced That Obama Will Drop Out Of The Presidential Race

Breitbart hologram Mike Flynn has been feeling the warm breeze of change that causes the flag of America to gently billow across his cheek, and also has been sifting through the history books, poring over some of the most...

Romney Blames Obama For Plant That Closed During Bush Presidency

Mitt Romney is touring America for some reason, and on Thursday he was in Lorain, Ohio, at a National Gypsum plant that is no longer open, which he LOVES to do despite the fact that he was complicit in...

Ted Nugent: ‘Ride Into That Battlefield,’ Behead The Democrats This Fall

We have found the one musician who would not be enraged to find one of his songs used without permission at a conservative orgy somewhere in America: he is of course Ted Nugent, who attended the NRA's annual ball...

Super Tuesday Murdered By Meh Wednesday

What's up, Cleveland Plain-Dealer? Pretty exciting night, there, yes, with your still hanging chads or somesuch but "advantage Romney," certainly what ho? So many exciting Politics in O-hi-o, with Elf Queen Consort Dennis Kucinich losing his fabled place in...