Apparently this wasn’t much of a news story when France’s Culture Minister Frederic Mitterrand actually wrote it in 2005, but now that he has supported Roman Polanski, everyone is pointing out the part of his memoir where he admits to loving little boy prostitute cock, in Thailand — the very same crime that Roman Polanski committed in the ’70s at Jack Nicholson’s house. MORE »

Check it out everyone, the Democrats & Hollywood are all complicit in RAPE. 34k! Look at what Harvey Weinstein, who made ten million dollars in the time it took you to read the term “ten million dollars,” did last year: “Weinstein last year gave $28,500 to the DNC and its White House Victory Fund, though he didn’t contribute directly to Obama.” Oh no!! Basically Obama killed Sharon Tate.

• Obama gets a gold medal in the prestigious Kindly Requesting The Olympics For Chicago While In Denmark event. [New York Times]
• David Letterman slept with some people on his staff and some other lady turned around and performed extortion on him! [New York Times]
• Some ex-prosecutor on the Roman Polanski case now admits that he made a bunch of shit up for some documentary about Polanski. [CNN]
• Iran has agreed to start outsourcing its uranium to other countries for enriching purposes. (David Letterman’s intern is now extorting Iran.) [WSJ]
• GE and Comcast might go halvies on NBC Universal-ownership. Everyone should please check with Tina Fey to make sure this is doable, plotwise, before doing anything. [Reuters]
• When the Labor Dept. releases its unemployment report on Friday, America might tie some 1983 unemployment Olympic record. USA! [AP]

• Nearly a hundred were killed in flooding caused by an 8.0 undersea earthquake (and a bunch of diligent, follow-up tsunamis) in Samoa and American Samoa. [New York Times]
• New evidence suggests that the terrorist group responsible for last year’s Mumbai hotel violence is still way into terrorism, despite the fact that this makes them kind of boring, doesn’t it? Anyway, some American intelligence people think that Pakistan’s secret spy police, the ISI, is more or less okay with this. [New York Times]
• The popular Asian country of China is only pretending to be a good friend to the US and sit there quietly and listen as Obama goes on about Iran, and how terrible Iran is, when really, China will still import oil from Iran, as China’s #1 priority is not messing up its own economic boom. China is sort of undermine-y, is the point. [Washington Post]
• Pedro Almodovar, Martin Scorsese and… Woody Allen—Woody Allen—have DEMANDED that authorities release known sex pervert Roman Polanski. See, he was captured on the way to a film festival at which he was being honored, so, to arrest him there was a bit déclassé. [CNN]
• After an apparently successful “Distracted Driving Summit,” Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood might propose criminalizing texting while driving, or banning handheld cell phone use in the car, or making teenagers illegal. [AP]

• Barack Obama demanded that Iran turn over blueprints to its underground ex-secret nuclear hideaway, and threatened to take away the US’s gas and oil investment money. Iran responded by test-firing a bunch of short-range missiles and then claiming they were medium-range missiles. Sassy/grim! [New York Times]
• NATO and the US have decided to side with current Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai in his quest to continue to be President of Afghanistan, despite very mean-spirited gossip about how the election was maybe a sham. [Washington Post]
• Angela Merkel and her party, the Christian Democratic Union, have WON THE COUNTRY OF GERMANY for another four years. Well, congratulations. [Wall Street Journal]
• Flighty auteur Roman Polanski was arrested in Switzerland of all places for the his famous sex crime of sex with a 13 year old in 1978. [Los Angeles Times]
• William Safire died this weekend. Before his noted death, he was also famous for writing a bunch of lies for Richard Nixon and as well as the New York Times‘ “On Language” column. [Reuters]
• The more Obama insists that New York Governor David Paterson not attempt to be governor again, the more committed Paterson is to doing exactly that. [CNN]