Dumb dumb dumb, dumb dumb dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb, dumb dumb dumb dumb. That is one “dumb” for each paragraph of Jonah Goldberg’s Los Angeles Times column today. For the record, we did not expect it to be “good,” in the traditional sense — we didn’t expect to read it at all! But 18 paragraphs of unmitigated “dumb” has a strangely magnetic appeal during this lazy news season. So let’s check out Jonah’s column, in which he argues that Obama’s plan to offer educational aid as a reward for national service is somehow both (a) welfare and (b) slavery. Europe, MTV, “the JFK cult,” and Rolling Stone magazine also play bit parts in Jonah’s remarkable paean to the God of Shit. MORE »

Former Florida state Rep. “Twenty Dollar” Bob Allen, the homosexual Republican who was tried and convicted for trying to blow this dude in a Florida potty, is back on our gaydar after landing in Rolling Stone’s “Yearbook 2007″ issue. No, no, it’s not for the “Top 5 Florida Legislators of the Year” list, but for the one chronicling 2007’s best GOP sex scandals. Holler to Rolling Stone: We don’t really read you, but we respect you. -ish. [WESH]

At this point, Rolling Stone writer Matt Taibbi’s aping of P.J. O’Rourke and Hunter S. Thompson has moved beyond annoying to being comfortably numbing white noise–like listening to Muzak on morphine. But occasionally he delivers. In his latest piece, the traditionally left-leaning rock mag finds itself dangerously close to endorsing Republican Mike Huckabee. “Hey, this guy doesn’t seem like a total dickhead,” writes Taibbi.” I can almost see him as president. … Huckabee is that good.” Taibbi deadpans: “Make no mistake, Huckabee can win this thing.” It’s definitely cool Huck pardoned Keef Richards and Ronnie Wood for an old reckless driving misdemeanor — if you were driving through Arkansas in 1975, wouldn’t you drive like a bat out of hell? — but when did Rolling Stone start backing Republicans?

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Green Day’s Billy Joe Armstrong, who sat down for an interview with Rolling Stone’s David Fricke, sorta, kinda likes Barack Obama because he’s “sick of the religious-figure thing,” thinks the draft is needed to wake up apathetic youth, loves Bill Clinton and still really, really hates Bush. “When you say “Fuck George W. Bush” in a packed arena in Texas, that’s an accomplishment… ” Oh, totes!

Billie Joe Armstrong [RS] MORE »

As usual, all sorts of weird shit is going down with our late, dear friend Hunter S. Thompson. Even in death, the guy can stir stink and raise hell. The rumors, books, family infighting, estate rumbles and creepy accusations of murder all have friends and fans a little edgy. Guess it’s par for the course. Anyway, we sent New York writer Katie Clancy — the daughter of the late, beloved John Clancy, a friend and attorney of Hunter’s — to cover the book party and reading at Sebastian Junger’s Half King Pub in NYC. After the jump, a brief report. MORE »

We didn’t actually read Rolling Stone’s Edwards thing so we like it better than the Romney and Obama stories. [RS]

After a long successful run of endorsing winners like George McGovern, Walter Mondale, Al Gore and John Kerry, the magazine Rolling Stone implied back in November that Tom Vilsack might survive with a little buzz help from Wonkette. MORE »

Rolling Stone’s Matt Taibbi somehow filled a whole column with a fictional bum trying to get Tom Vilsack a mention in a fictional Wonkette.com that is somehow important to the 2008 primary race.

“Dammit!” I said. “Okay, out of curiosity, what do you need the six dollars for?”

“I figured I’d take a cab across town and try to get a mention in Wonkette,” he said plaintively. “Do you think you can help me get into Wonkette?”

I answered without thinking. “You’re asking the wrong person. I don’t have any traction with Wonkette.”

Sure, real Wonkette did a long boring post about Vilsack’s boring career the very morning he announced he was running for president, but you people have to understand it’s Thanksgiving Eve and Washington is empty of political life and nothing is happening and we’re going to use absolutely any tip that anybody sends us. MORE »

Rolling Stone will thrill its elderly readership with its scathing new Matt Taibbi cover story, “Worst Congress Ever.” MORE »

Last week, controversy erupted after Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.), in an interview with Jeff Sharlet of Rolling Stone, made the following remarks: MORE »

• Under the Dome: Bob Livingston: “I raised hell with [Gov. Blanco] for not declaring martial law. I told her last [Wednesday] night I was going on ‘Hannity & Colmes‘ and criticize her for not doing that, and 20 minutes later, she did.”. . . Rolling Stone shadowed Bernie Sanders for upcoming article. . . National Press Club will auction nude painting. . . Albert Eisele retires about 40 years in journalism. [The Hill]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Bernstein, in latest issue of Vanity Fair, recounts tension with Woodward and Downie over Felt revelation; shows Woodward as more interested in “commerce and hype than journalism.”. . . Judi Giuliani is mum on her husband’s ‘08 intentions. [NYDN]
• Inside the Beltway: “VIP party” for CNN’s “The Situation Room” canceled due to Katrina. [WT]