Tag: roe v. wade

This Nice Wackjob Christianist Lady Mighta Just Outlawed Every Abortion In Ohio

Also thinks Obama is a Russian plant and gay marriage caused Noah's flood.

BREAKING: Jill Stein Idiot

After this, we are not covering Jill Stein no more, AND YOU CAN'T MAKE US.
You're cool with this now, right?

Mary Fallin Personally Aborts All The Little Children In Oklahoma, Will Never Be Trump’s Veep Now :(

Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin is obviously on Jan Brewer's meds, as she very sanely vetoes an abortion ban just because it's 'unconstitutional.'
Science FacIt might be upheld. This is no time for a de-fetus attitude.t: At 20 weeks a fetus in Texas can shut women's rights down

Oklahoma Lege Passes Bill Banning Abor … Wait, Abortion Was Still Legal In Oklahoma?

Oklahoma legislators have passed and sent a complete ban on abortion to Gov. Mary Fallin, because why keep testing the limits of Planned Parenthood v. Casey when you can try to overturn Roe v. Wade all at once?

Missouri Just Wants Rape Victims To Be #Blessed With Beautiful Gift Of Forced Pregnancy

Missouri House passes Personhood Bill with no exceptions for rape victims.
Listen up, you Messico losers!

Donald Trump Will Bomb Sh*t Out Of Ladies Who Have Abortions, Murder Their Families

Uh oh. Donald Trump accidentally said a true thing about illegal abortions. Wait, what the what? Donald Trump sparked a firestorm on Wednesday after saying that women should be punished for getting illegal abortions. “There has to be some form of...
Yes, he's a monster

Florida Gov. Rick Scott Does Douchebag Thing, Because He Is Douchebag

Hip-hooray and WE TOLD YOU SO. We reported last week on the hottest new trend in ladyparts healthcare, which is getting your vaginal business district checked out at mobile eye care or mobile dental units. It's efficient! Unless you're...

Who Will Save The Babies Now That Antonin Scalia Is Roasting In Hell?

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (or "Anthony" Scalia if you are a moron, like Michele Bachmann) died Saturday night, when his heart quite suspiciously up and quit, as if a 79-year-old with health problems suddenly dying out of the blue is even...
Troll so hard

Badass Sen. Elizabeth Warren Kindly Invites GOP To Shut Up About Scalia Replacement

Know what's a nice thing to read on a Monday morning? No, not news that Antonin Scalia won't be around to replace Roe v. Wade with a two word ruling that says "JIGGERY POKERY!" Instead, it is your girlfriend Sen....

You Really Hurt Giant Pussy Erick Erickson’s Feelings, You Jerks

Who knew RedState editor and Fox News contributor Erick Erickson, son of himself, was such a giant pussy? Oh, sorry, we mean such a "insert euphemism of choice related to the female reproductive system"? Turns out, though, he is,...
True fact: there are no women's clinics in Tiananmen Square. Do you want that for America?

Mike Huckabee Will Send Very Tiny Army Men Right Into Your Cooch

Mike Huckabee, apparently still feeling the effects of that deep hit he took from the Trump Pipe last week, is saying some more insane shit. Not only is the Iran nuclear deal the Holocaust, now he's hinting that, as...
Viewers ask the darnedest questions!

Pat Robertson Reminds God To Murder Supreme Court

It's time for another edition of viewer questions with Pat Robertson, which are sent by totally real viewers who exist, to Pat Robertson, so that his wisdom may be bestowed upon them. Whatcha curious about, "Eugene"? Oh, just how...
HELP, JESUS!

Wingnuts Very Upset That Gay Jihadists Just Did 9/11 To America

When news broke that the Supreme Court had forcibly crammed gay marriage down the throatholes of every God-fearing American, our first instinct (AFTER CRYING) was go check Bryan Fischer's Twitter-Twatter page. And he had said nothing! "WAKE UP, BRYAN...
Yes, yes, he's from Texas, whatever. So sue for emotional damage.

Wisconsin Abortion Bill Lets Sad Daddies Sue If Their Sacred Sperm Is Wasted

Gosh, is there anything that could be more awful about Wisconsin's new abortion bill? How about a provision giving men the right to sue doctors for "emotional and psychological distress" when their precious genetic material is cruelly aborted after...
The more you know ...

Human Dental Dam Rick Santorum To Stop SCOTUS From Doing Gay Stuff To America, Somehow

We were surprised last week when, during Rick Santorum's presidential campaign announcement, he completely forgot to talk about how The Lord Our God hateth the homosexuals, since that is the most important thing in his world. Sure, he sort...
You're cool with this now, right?

House GOP Figures It’s Safe To Ban Abortion Now That Everyone’s Stopped Paying Attention

As further evidence that the GOP really "gets" chicks, House Republicans murdered the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act to ban abortions after 20 weeks back in January, which they'd hoped to pass on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade,...