Tag: rocky

Precious White People Losing Their Damn Minds Over GMO Salmon

SOMEONE SAID "GMO," GET THE CAGE-FREE ORGANIC PITCHFORKS! For those who missed it, earlier this month, the FDA approved the sale of GMO salmon for the first time, after a company called AquaBounty came up with a way to allow...
He wears long sleeves to cover up where they nailed him to the cross.

When Will God Stop Forcing Ben Carson To Run For President?

THESE REPUBLICANS, right? Ted Cruz explained recently that he hates running for president so much, but he has to do it, because God anointed him with Holy Spirit juice, and he's the only hope we have to save America....

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Guys and Balls Edition

Are you ready for some baseball? Opening Day is upon us, which means the Gray Lady, the Paper of Record, will spend the next six months recording every up and down (mostly down) in the annual tatbir undertaken by...

Former French President Nicolas Sarkozy: Hurry Up And Wait For Jail

America let George W. Bush return to his quiet, private life so his undocumented workers he could clean up dust bunnies in his suburban McMansion even though he tortured us all (some of us, literally) for eight years playing...

Every Newspaper On Earth Says John McCain Is An Idiot

Oh good God what is going on today? Pretty much every publication in the country has a big article about how John McCain -- the guy who just attacked Barack Obama for being all style and no substance...