Tag: robots


Rush Limbaugh Knows Ladies Get Their Periods, Unlike Robots, Who Aren’t Gross Like That

Who's bleeding out of their wherevers? NOT ROBOTS, THAT'S FOR SURE.

Why Are We Boycotting Starbucks Today?

Starbucks has committed to hiring refugees in its stores around the world. WHY DOES STARBUCKS HATE AMERICA?

Carrier Can’t Wait To Replace All Those Jobs Trump ‘Saved’ With Good Old American Robots

You will be upgraded. Upgrading is compulsory.

Wonkagenda: Monday, October 24, 2016

The Democrats golden unicorn, Trump's federal worker problem, and trouble in Margaritaville! Here's your daily news brief!
sunny day? let's roll

Rich People Don’t Like Their Gelato Treats :/ And More In Your Class-War Roundup!

America is at its best when teaming up with its patriotic contractors to blow enormous piles of cash on military programs. And none blow more than the F-35. After 15 years of your standard cost overuruns and totally predictable...
'Try not to look smug, try not to look smug, try...'

Rick Snyder Picks Former BP Lobbyist To Protect Michigan’s Environment. What Could Go Wrong?

Michigan's brand new head of Environmental Quality helped manage BP's response to the Gulf oil spill. Are there any pelicans in Michigan?
"i got a job! beep boop"

Uber Diversifying Its Force Of Independent Robot Contractors

In its quest to be the largest company without a single "employee," Uber outsourced security at one of its San Francisco parking lots to a 300 pound egg-shaped robot. Silicon Valley startup Knightscope created this creepy albino conebot as an...

Barack Obama’s Excellent South Asian Vacation!

Barack Obama is wrapping up his gnarly Vietnamese vacation. Wish we were there!
dressing on the side

How Gross Were Dole’s Salad Products And When Did Dole Know About The Gross?

A Corporate Person with a legacy of overthrowing native governments to make it easier for their nice time plantations is still misbehavin'? Say it ain't so! Dole Food Company allegedly knew its salad tested positive for deliciousness listeria about a...
Like so many movies, most of Jones's ideas are bad adaptations of science fiction

Restaurant Sends Robot Waitstaff To Scrap Pile After They Fail To Serve Man

Hey, you know how plutocrats love to smugly threaten that if food service employees keep seeking a living wage, they'll be replaced with robots? Yeah, about that: a restaurant in Guangzhou, China, tried it, and it didn't work out...

Evil Carl’s Jr. CEO Can Hardly Wait To Replace Workers With Robots

Are you ready to meet the most dickheaded CEO in the fast food game today? Well, tough noogies, you're going to anyway, because this a-hole deserves to be recognized. One of the arguments opponents of a minimum wage hike LOOOOOOOOVE...
Are you blinded by its majesty?

Behold The Benedict Cumberbunny, Ye Mortals, And Weep! Your Saturday Nerdout

Yr Wonkette is busy working on an exciting new project, we said teasingly, so today's Saturday Nerdout must of necessity be brief. Oh, but do we ever have some beautiful strangeness for you people today! The Benedict Cumberbunny Has...
This would explain a lot about Herman Cain's campaign

Your Saturday Nerdout: 1969 Anti-LSD Film Features Screaming Hot Dog Freakout

It's your Saturday, so it's time for your Saturday Nerdout. We've got a trippy anti-drug film with a terrifying troll-faced hot dog, the ugly dystopian reality behind Pokémon, a look at how NASA and NPR helped an old engineer...

Neo-Nazi Trump Supporters Can’t Stop Fapping To Anime: Your Saturday Nerdout

Greetings, Nerds, whether you are in the Northeast and cosplaying as a Hoth Snow Trooper or elsewhere watching the snow on TV. We bring you an unlikely convergence of worlds today: national politics, white nationalist wankers, and anime. Plus...
let them eat cake. seriously just distract them with some cake.

Target’s Union-Busting Robots, And Other Updates On Our New Robot Overlords

Life is good but it's not all roses, puppy dogs and Pope memes. And while the Robot Revolution may have dropped on our Threat List (currently found between "Dennis Miller" and "unnecessary paperwork"), please don't think our Corporate Persons have...
If you were lucky enough to sext with an actual human on Ashley Madison, maybe this was your girlfriend!

Ashley Madison Cheater Wannabes Mostly Just Sexting With Robots And Josh Duggar

So here is some news you can use, which will shock and awe you right to your core, if you are A Idiot. All the HEY LADIES on the Ashley Madison website? Fake. Fake fake fake fake fake. FAKE!...