robots

We sure got a kick last week out of Timothy Ray Murray, the totally reasonable Oklahoma Republican whose primary opponent, dastardly Frank Lucas, stole the election by dying and cleverly having himself replaced by an android. That’s a new one! Actually, no, that’s not really a new one, as anybody who has read Philip K. […]

So apparently this is just Weird Candidate day at Yr. Wonkette (OK, maybe every day is that). In addition to our recovering public-wanking addict in Michigan, we also are delighted to bring you this important news about Mr. Timothy Ray Murray, a Republican candidate for the Oklahoma House: Unlike the other guy, he is very […]

Fans of the Uncanny Valley will be delighted to know that roboticists in Japan have taken another giant leap toward creeping us right the fuck out, with two new female-appearing androids that will be interacting with guests at the National Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation in Tokyo. They look pretty darn lifelike in still […]

We don’t usually use interviews for the ol’ clipbait, but this one-on-one with John Oliver and Stephen Hawking is not to be missed. It’s part of a new series on Oliver’s Last Week Tonight called “Great Minds: People Who Think Good,” and it confirms what fans of The Simpsons have long known: Stephen Hawking is […]

Well, humanity, it was a nice ride, but it’s over. Stephen Colbert brings us news of the end — a computer program has finally beaten the Turing test — maybe — fooling a third of human questioners into thinking it was a 13-year-old boy. “Which makes sense if you think about it. Like a teenage […]

Well, we thought this story from Politico was another of their hilarious Roger Simonesque fan-fics (like the time, unlinkable for now, when he had literally everyone but your Wonket believing Paul Ryan calls Miffed Romney “Stench”). But no! As far as we can tell it is not a joke! Behold, Mitt Romney explaining a fictional […]

As the excitement (?) of Super Tuesday grips the nation the way a priest grips a young boy’s scrotum, Rick Santorum’s college fund for his dozens of children is paying for an onslaught of angry religious-fanatic robo-calls against Mitt Romney, himself a robot. And this makes sense, at least the part about Rick Santorum pissing […]

Here, via Operative/”Wonkette Guy” Garrett Quinn, is a photo of Mitt Romney after taking off all of his clothes and human skin. “TICKETS, TICKETS” he was demanding like a lunatic. No one knew what he was talking about. Mitt, get your clothes back on! “FISH HEADS, FISH HEADS, FEED MY SKULL FISH HEADS,” he then […]

Top honors will be given to a brave TSA Body Scanner machine at the Nashville airport for apprehending a sinister Dalek robot-monster that was impersonating Senator Rand Paul. The cylon version of Rand Paul triggered the radioactive Body Scanner because of some miniscule fabrication error in the android’s knee joints — the scanner apparently had […]

Bad news for Mitt Romney, again, as always: Now that his only real competition is a charm coffin like Rick Santorum, the press has no other choice but to pay attention to Romney’s actual, boring campaign. THAT IS SOOOO UNFAIR! Especially because the only way Romney’s campaign can back up his job creation record — […]

It was another day of thuggery on the Iowa campaign trail as Michele Bachmann’s remaining followers mercilessly booed and taunted a sad gay robot. The pudgy homosexual android just wanted to make a case for itself, but the slob wingnuts just chanted BOOOOO because that’s how they “cure homosexuality.” Speaking of pudgy gay robots, has […]

Did they miss anything? Thanks to whoever suffered through two hours of GOP debate video to find the only word and the only name that matters. [BuzzFeed via @stevesilberman]

Every single day of the last miserable decade, the U.S. Military has pissed away more than $16 million in fraudulent contracts in Afghanistan and Iraq. That’s $60 billion thrown away on wasteful handouts to Pentagon contractors during the wonderful War On Terror — $60 billion thrown away without even killing random goat farmers who committed […]

Anything besides hurricane news today? Yes! The Pentagon or the CIA or whatever corporation runs the robot death drone planes that constantly rain bombs on brown people throughout the world just announced that about a week ago, one of those robot death drone planes dropped a couple of million-dollar bombs somewhere and one of those […]

Iowan princess Michele Bachmann will not rest until she has run out of insane speech explosions to perform in front of a camera. Here she is, possibly wearing glitter eye makeup, getting mildly yelled at by Bill O’Reilly, because even he can’t stand her. You probably want to watch as little of this as possible, […]