Tag: robocalls

TrumpCare Stumbles Into The ER. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 16, 2017

Federal judges pee on Muslim Ban 2.0 (yay!), Dutch Nazi Geert Wilder loses (hooray!), and even Paul Ryan admits his health plan needs a pick-me-up. Your morning news brief!

Homophobic Jewish-Christian Robots Attacking Fellow Robot Mitt Romney

As the excitement (?) of Super Tuesday grips the nation the way a priest grips a young boy's scrotum, Rick Santorum's college fund for his dozens of children is paying for an onslaught of angry religious-fanatic robo-calls against Mitt...

Congress Proposes To Legalize Robot Drone Assaults On Cell Phone Users

Congress seems to feel that the record number 82% of Americans who hate their guts is still Not Enough, so the House is proposing a sneaky little update to the ancient Communications Act of 1934 that would finally allow...

Florida Spams Annoying Twit Rick Scott’s Office With Robocall Payback

Perennially unpopular Florida governor Rick Scott's doomed attempts at constituent relations mostly consist of harassing robocalls filled with Rick Scott's whimpering voice being piped across Florida telephone lines into millions of unwilling eardrums like some incurable mutant Ebola virus of...

Rick Scott Busy Sexing Floridians With Robocalls And Ethics Violations

Oh, don't we just love to pick on hairless dingus Rick Scott, because he is officially America's most disliked governor, his constituents are constantly suing him for passing laws no one likes, he's kind of "eh" about keeping track...

Wisconsin Becomes Orgy of Chaos As Recall Elections Begin

The forces of good and evil resume their bilious clouded swirl over the state of Wisconsin today as primary voters go to cast votes in the state's recall elections against six of Scott Walker's senate puppets, and it is already...

Sandra Day O’Connor Robot Drunk Dials Nevada Voters All Night Long

It's 1 a.m., and you are in Nevada (why are you in Nevada?). Anyway: You are drinking grain alcohol in bed, because that is the best way to wind down after a long day of being unemployed/cursing Harry Reid....

Christine O’Donnell ‘a Complete Fraud,’ Says Phone-Robot

So we were just catching up with the Primary Night news at the Politico (we know, we know), and there's this big picture of Christine O'Donnell at the top of the page with the headline "Ex-aide: Christine O'Donnell a...

Palin Using Her ‘Grizzly Phone’ Too Much

Another Tuesday means another round of primary elections for feminist trailblazer Sarah Palin and her grizzly moms: the lady Republicans who love what Palin loves, like guns and power and Sarah Palin. Mama Palin's been helping her grrrls by...

Rick Santorum, The Devil’s Abortionist

In Iowa, some marblemouth gal is calling up folks and telling them to ask Rick Santorum "to apologize for his long-time support of radical pro-abortion politicians!" Huh? Oh, just Christine Todd Whitman and Arlen Specter, like 10 years ago,...

Palin Campaigns For McDonnell In Secret Roguish Manner, McDonnell Terrified

See what's going on above? That would be Bob McDonnell crushing the dickens out of Creigh Deeds, in Virginia. Fine, go ahead, win tomorrow, anything to get these dreadful four-per-commercial-break ads ("I will fix the roads" "No I will...

COMMENCE 'CRYPTIC PHONE DRIVE-BYS IN HIPPIE COMMUNES' PHASE OF TEABAGGING REVOLUTION: Left-wing communist and likely herbivore "CB" writes: "I know this is only a minor event, especially because I'm sure millions of people got this phone call. But I...

Indiana Telemarketers Walk Off Job Rather Than Read Anti-Obama Script

Indiana has this quaint law: Robot lie calls, or "robocalls," are illegal. So campaigns hire whole telemarketing staffs to call people and read a bunch of incendiary bullshit to people dumb enough to answer the phone when they don't...

Hey Hey, Listen To Rudy Giuliani’s Dumb Robocall

Robocalls, everyone's talking about 'em, these devilish angerbots that keep calling swing state voters and saying mean things about candidates. This one made us laugh out loud for the sole reason that it's from Rudy Giuliani, and he says,...