• JPMorgan Chase reported $3.6 billion profits for the third quarter. This is one of those folkloric “good economic news” stories! [New York Times]
• Now that Obama (& Olympia Snowe!) have defeated Chuck Grassley, Baucus, etc., he must now combat Big Health Insurance Lobby. [Washington Post]
• There’s a second gold rush, except it’s a rare minerals rush, happening right now in California’s Mojave Desert. Go west, young man. [Los Angeles Times]
• Hillary Clinton yelled at America and Russia for running around like this is still the Cold War. It’s not, apparently, was her point. [CNN]
• Exciting job opening! Lots of potential for growth: Rep. Robert Wexler of Florida has quit and taken a job at Center for Middle East Peace and Economic Cooperation.
• McChrystal is worried that all corruption in Afghanistan might basically cancel out the work that new troops could (will) be doing over there. [AP]

Here’s a picture from our Wonkette “Saturday” operative. It is the worst car in the world, and America should be ashamed of it. It’s “rallying” around the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee at some Marriott in northwest Washington D.C., along with various comical Hilltards and tragically counter-protesting Obamatards. Somehow the only result of the meeting will be the War in Iran. But are they making any progress? Perchance! MORE »

Often the question is asked: Why haven’t we blogged about Rep. Robert Wexler’s cocaine-lovin’ appearance on “The Colbert Report”? To be honest, the pickings were too easy. It’s not really “news” when Colbert embarrasses a congressman anymore, and our attempt to get comment from local Republicans fell flat. But thank God for Fox News’ resident celebrity impersonator Brian Wilson. “Liberal Viewer” has posted a YouTube video comparing the edit of Colbert-Wexler that Wilson ran and the actual footage from Colbert’s show. Fox clipped several seconds of Wexler laughing along and being coached, and cut right to Wexler saying he enjoyed cocaine. Surprise: This made Wexler come off more craven and out of touch than he actually was. MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: Representative Lincoln Davis (D-TN) on the gay marriage amendment: “This is why I think the amendment should outlaw adultery and make it a felony.” … “Rep. Tom Feeney (R-Fla.) is hosting his second annual “Penthouse Party” at his decidedly un-penthouse apartment, featuring, as always, cans of Budweiser, Oreo cookies, Diet Coke, Ritz crackers and his favorite, Easy Cheese….” [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: Representative Robert Wexler (D-Fla) attended the screening of the Sundance documentary about his office, The Hill. [WP]