This week, Larry Craig, David Phillips, Robert Novak, Monica Goodling, and Barbara Bush were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. MORE »

This week, Barney Frank, Bob Allen, Ken Mehlman, Ben Stein, Maria Bartiromo and Robert Novak were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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Here’s a not-exactly-shocking revelation that’s still funny to hear, from Evil Bob Novak himself: The Senate GOP leadership has always known that Larry Craig’s a closet case. Specifically, they knew he wasn’t just a secret gay, but one of those bathroom creeps always chasing cock in public. And this raises an interesting question in this Year Of Our Endless Cummer: How many times has Larry Craig been nabbed by the cops before what made Minneapolis famous made a wreck out of him? How did he cover it up? Bribes? Threats? Murder?

Novak: Senate R’s Knew Craig “Had This Problem” [New West]

28% of Americans refuse to vote for a Mormon, which poses a problem for Mormon presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Because unlike black people or New Yorkers or any number of the other groups of people who won’t vote for Mitt, most of those 28% are probably Republicans. And Mitt gets harassed about his nutty beliefs and magic pajamas by yahoos like us everywhere he goes, when he’d much, much rather talk about how none of his sons are gays and how we need to save all the stem cells from Osama bin Pelosi. MORE »

Robert Novak’s “important neutral Republican” sources all hate Hollywood Freddie Thompson because the famous movie star did not hire them or ask for their help when starting his campaign to be our TV president. So they have all told Novak, in private, that Thompson’s campaign has “crashed and burned on takeoff.” They do have a point: the man didn’t really make a big splash with his Conference Telephone Call Announcement (the Tonight Show thing doesn’t count, because he’d already announced basically and he didn’t even ride a motorcycle). But Republicans still intensely hate all their other candidates for being closet abortionists and adulterers and Mormons so Freddie still has a chance, even though he very well may also be one or all of those things himself. MORE »

Eyewitness report sent by a high-ranking Wonkette Operative this morning:

I am at DC Superior Court and Bob Novak is on the same jury pool I am. He just got called into Judge Mott’s courtroom (301).

And then, the shocking update:

Novak just got empaneled. I was excused, case is Aggravated Assault & Attempted Robbery. Oh the irony that he is on a jury on the same day that Libby is sentenced.

And oh the justice if it was Novak being tried! MORE »

* Robert Novak will let you call him “angel tits” if you just buy his book. [Political Wire]
* Real Christians know, “a Vote for Romney is a Vote for Satan.” [MoJo]
* Tom Friedman thinks Americans are too smart to listen to anything Lou Dobbs says. [Passport]
* John Murtha hates the war in Iraq, loves the war on drugs. [Hit & Run]
* John Edwards promises $400 haircuts for every American. [Captain's Quarters]
* Jim Lehrer senility check: He refuses to “assume the president of the U..S is lying.” Yup, lost it. [Romenesko]
* Dennis Kucinich will save the world if you’ll just say his fucking name right. [PrezVid]

Donald Rumsfeld has some bathroom issues that Robert Novak can smell clear across town, Ed Harris and John Voight kick themselves for taking advice from frat boys, and Chris Matthews makes sure his tips are properly frosted. All this, plus Ted Koppel without the helmet and why you should begin fearing Michelle Malkin’s kids now.

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* Presidential contenders’ YouTube channels range from “mind-boggling” to “old-fart.” [PrezVid]
* Walnuts! now able to literally wipe his feet on Iraq. [Passport]
* Black-tie Gridiron dinner on Saturday night featured Robert Novak in the role he was born to play. [Firedoglake]
* Margaret Carlson always wanted, but never got Fred Thompson’s johnson. [Newsweek]
* Condoleeza Rice offers to pitch if Sean Hannity will catch. [Raw Story]
* Newt Gingrich’s life to resemble Spanish profanity immersion. [The Swamp]
* Bill Richardson is the “greenest” candidate. [TalkLeft]

Today’s column from conservative has-been Robert Novak details the epic war of words being waged between conservative has-been Tom DeLay and conservative has-been Newt Gingrich. MORE »

Today’s Robert Novak column, summarized: MORE »