Tag Archives: robert menendez

  Probably no blow allowed either

Party Pooper Eric Holder Reminds DOJ Staff They Cannot Have Sexy Funtimes With Hookers, Unfair!

Fun's over, fellas
Attorney General Eric Holder is supposed to not even BE THERE anymore, but until Republicans confirm his replacement — no rush, guys, really — he’s going to oppress America, and the employees of the Department of Justice, SO HARD: Read more on Party Pooper Eric Holder Reminds DOJ Staff They Cannot Have Sexy Funtimes With Hookers, Unfair!…
  A New Jersey Politician In A Corruption Scandal? Mercy!

NJ Sen. Robert Menendez Indicted; Sorry, Daily Caller, No Fake Underaged Hookers This Time

You're looking especially Muppetlike today, Senator
Sen. Robert Menendez (D-New Jersey) has been indicted on corruption charges by the Justice Department in a bribery scandal that Yr Wonkette would never even cover if the guy had been a Democrat. He’s accused of receiving campaign contributions and a lot of fancy la-dee-da travel on private jets and vacations in the Dominican Republic in exchange for doing political favors for Salomon Melgen, a Florida eye doctor whom Menendez insists is just a really good friend who he enjoyed hanging out with and occasionally tossing the occasional port security contract, as friends do. Read more on NJ Sen. Robert Menendez Indicted; Sorry, Daily Caller, No Fake Underaged Hookers This Time…
  an actual conspiracy for a change

The Daily Caller Is Being Run By Cuban Communists

You may or may not remember the story about New Jersey Sen. Robert Menendez allegedly doing sex with prostitutes, whom he then didn’t even pay, and then later it was claimed that the hookers were underaged, even. Hahaha, of course you remember it — you read Wonket, and are perforce a salacious-minded weirdo, gods bless you! It was a really big deal in late 2012 when Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller broke it, and then a few months later the Associated Press reported that in reality, the ladies of negotiable affection were paid by an attorney to make the whole thing up. And so we felt better about Robert Menendez, because ALWAYS PAY YOUR HOOKER. And now, we get this Big Deal Update from the Washington Post: The whole story appears to have been planted by Cuban intelligence agents. Is it petty of us to think that the real takeaway is less that a U.S. Senator was almost ruined by Cuban spies than that Tucker Carlson and chipmunk-faced boy reporter Matthew Boyle got punked by those same Cuban spies? We can live with that. Read more on The Daily Caller Is Being Run By Cuban Communists…
  must not see tv

Tonight! Crossfire Returns To America’s Airwaves, Twitters, Facebooks, MySpaces, and Sonograms

Oh god so there is a new Crossfire? Apparently there is a new Crossfire. We had remained blissfully unaware of this because we did good things in a former life. The Editrix told us we had to write a thing about it, though, so the first thing we did was head on over to the Google to learn more about this exciting new endeavor that kicks off with Newt Gingrich and some lady that is not Newt Gingrich nor many of the Mrs. Newt Gingriches. OH AND WE JUST FOUND OUT IT STARTS IN 17 MINUTES, AT 6:30 EASTERN. HURRY! HURRY TO THE TEEVEE FOR YOUR CROSSFIRE OH NO YOU ARE GOING TO MISS IT WHAT WILL YOU DOOOOOOOOOO!!1! Read more on Tonight! Crossfire Returns To America’s Airwaves, Twitters, Facebooks, MySpaces, and Sonograms…
  i know why the caged bird sings

Disgraced Jailbird Jack Abramoff Takes Rightful Place As Matthew Boyle’s Voice Of Moral Authority

Whey-faced tube of cookie dough Matthew Boyle, ace staff reporter at Corpse Andrew Breitbart’s Internet Resting Place, has quite the scoopy scoop today. As faithful readers know, Boil Boyle has been hot on the trail of New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez (D-Of Course) and some shenanigans what he done maybe got up to involving a shady Florida ophthalmologist, some sort of port security deal with the Dominican Republic, and a trio of less-than-believable hookers. If the previous sentence appears on the inside jacket of Christopher Buckley’s next novel, yr Wonkette will sue for royalties. The story does not seem to have gained much traction in the media yet, possibly because a grand jury was only recently empaneled to try and get to the bottom of things, or maybe because people have more immediate day-to-day concerns than what the junior senator from a state that is a national punch line for corruption might – might – have gotten up to corruption-wise, or because it’s politics and “corrupt asshole uses money to buy influence with other corrupt assholes” has been our system’s lodestar ever since some French marquis was securing the finest whores in Paris for Thomas Jefferson in exchange for ol’ TJ relaxing tariffs on imported rum. But Boyle has to keep the story moving. Maybe he could do reporter things like fly down to Miami and sniff around that grand jury, cultivate some sources in the local FBI and U.S. Attorney’s offices, learn a little bit about shady ophthalmologist Salomon Melgen besides the fact that Harry Reid flew on his private plane to a convention last summer and the good doctor had his picture taken with the president at a fundraiser once. But since Corpse Breitbart’s operating budget is probably all tied up in legal fees, Boyle eschewed the old-fashioned shoe-leather approach, put on his sexxxy reporting fedora, and drunk-dialed the great Jack Abramoff for some speculation and innuendo. Read more on Disgraced Jailbird Jack Abramoff Takes Rightful Place As Matthew Boyle’s Voice Of Moral Authority…
  which ones are the prostitutes again?

AP Scoop: Dominican Republic Hookers in Menendez Story Were Not Trustworthy After All

Like a middle-aged man in the grip of a Viagra-fueled sex spree, this whole “Did New Jersey Senator Robert Menendez (D-Sexytimes) Sex Up Some Underage Hookers In The Dominican Republic” story just keeps on keepin’ on! Just to recap: not long before the November election, chipmunk-faced ace reporter Matthew Boyle broke the shocking news that an unmarried man might have stiffed a couple of hookers, and also underpaid them, while he was on some sort of sex-crazed sexanalia in the DR, where prostitution happens to be legal. Of course, this is New Jersey, which already has its share of embarrassing citizens, so everyone there was all “Meh” and “Go Big Blue” and “Nice state we got here, be a shame if anything…HOLY MOTHER OF GOD SEND HELP!” But much like herpes, Boyle would not go away. Read more on AP Scoop: Dominican Republic Hookers in Menendez Story Were Not Trustworthy After All…
  All Over But the Shouting

Panty Prosecutor Wins, Evolution-Dumper Loses: Your Lesser Candidate Wrap-Up!

It occurred to us that we have not followed up on some very important electoral news: Namely, the fate of several candidates who nobody had ever heard of until they briefly shone in the “weird news” column, and then disappeared from view. What happened to those wackos with all their wackiness? Let it never be said that Your Wonkette doesn’t follow up! Read more on Panty Prosecutor Wins, Evolution-Dumper Loses: Your Lesser Candidate Wrap-Up!…
 

Daily Briefing: The New Caliphate

• Time reporter Viveca Novak says Karl Rove was the likely source of a July 2003 article about Valerie Plame. Novak: “I remember [Rove‘s lawyer] looking at me and saying something to the effect of ‘Karl doesn’t have a [Matt Cooper] problem. He was not a source for Matt.’ I responded instinctively, thinking he was trying to spin me, and said something like, ‘Are you sure about that? That’s not what I hear around Time.’ He looked surprised and very serious.” [Time, NYT, WSJ] • Sen. Frist threatens to use the “nuclear option” to save Samuel Alito from a filibuster. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.): “We’re not close to a deal.” [WP, NYT, LAT] • White House flack Trent Duffy: “What you will see more of next year is the president going back to the basics — winning the war and growing the economy and creating jobs.” [WT] • Sen. Clinton‘s quiet, centrist approach to Iraq “is drawing increasing scorn from liberal activists.” [WP] • Ronald Brownstein on Alito‘s abortion memos: “It’s still not clear these disclosures will seriously threaten Alito’s confirmation. And if they do not, both sides might need to rethink basic assumptions about the politics of the Supreme Court.” [LAT] • Gov. Mark Warner (D-Va.) tours battleground states for a head-start on ’08. Warner: “As Democrats, what we have to do is put forward ideas and candidates that can win in places like Florida, that can win in places like Virginia.” [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: The New Caliphate…
 

Daily Briefing: ‘Finally Getting a Little Credit’

• House passes $94.5b in tax cuts; “some budget analysts say the flourish of tax cutting badly undermines the recent shows of fiscal discipline.” [WP, NYT] • Approval of Bush climbs back to 40% in NYT/CBS poll; 52% believe that the administration “intentionally misled the public when its officials made the case for war” and only 33% approve of Congress. Charles Cook: “It looks like they’re finally getting a little bit of credit for the economy performing as strongly as it has. We’ve had good economic news for a while, but Iraq so dominated things it couldn’t break through.” [NYT] • Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald solicits new grand jury; sources say “Fitzgerald was probably providing the new grand jury with a primer on what has been learned in the investigation and what remains unresolved” and “could spell trouble for [Karl Rove], or for other people enmeshed in more recent developments in the case.” [WP, NYT] • Bush shifts strategy in Iraq to focus on “smaller, more visible projects.” Bush: “Reconstruction has not always gone as well as we had hoped, primarily because of the security challenges on the ground. Rebuilding a nation devastated by a dictator is a large undertaking.” [WP, NYT, USAT] • Rep. Robert Menendez (D) is expected to be named as Corzine‘s successor. [WP, NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: ‘Finally Getting a Little Credit’…