Because the Obama Administration hates Iran’s freedoms so much, it has rescinded permission for U.S. embassies to invite Iranian diplomats to their Fourth of July parties. Come on, parents, don’t take it out on the kids! Robert Gibbs said the change in policy came about “given the events of the past many days,” referring to Mark Sanford’s cumming. State Department spokesperson Ian Kelly, however, “said no Iranians have accepted” the invitations anyway and “indicated that the U.S. saw little reason for them to, given the political crisis over their disputed presidential election.” Again: maybe they would have accepted if you had promised a Super Soaker war. They’re just like water cannons! [AP]

Iran is on the cusp of something — who knows what, but everyone’s sure! — and health care reform is free-falling towards a centrist compromise to give the uninsured thirteen cents and a get-well-soon card, but here’s the pressing issue for the White House, if we are to believe Fox News’ Major Garrett and some other lady asking a follow-up: why haven’t you picked your new family church yet? It was a CAMPAIGN PLEDGE. [YouTube]

CBS White House correspondent Chip Reid, who famously loves Dick Cheney so much, brought a very important News Question to today’s briefing with Robert Gibbs: hey Gibbs, you seen this racism deal on Newt Gingrich’s “blog,” you know, the thing he wrote on his blog about the racist Supreme Court? (He is referring to the web-based application Twitter.) Gibbs says no, who cares about Newt Gingrich’s mobile phone blog. [YouTube]

Here’s your perfunctory White House Press Briefing clip of Robert Gibbs explaining the YouTube, how it works an’ all that, to the important journalistic reporters. But why is the Maria lady on these YouTubes telling White America that it is the appellate judge’s role to import cocaine and abort teenagers? You decide. [YouTube]

You know what the White House press corps loves more than anything? Naked abuse of power and ritual humiliation. Here, Robert Gibbs has HAD IT with these motherfucking phones in this motherfucking briefing room, so he forcibly takes the mobile from this poor old guy, who was probably just twittering or getting an emergency call from a loved one, on their death bed. MORE »

The sad saga of America’s important newspapers has taken another downward turn, as it looks like the New York Times Company will maybe, probably, definitely shut down the Boston Globe, which it owns, for not making any money at all. A journalistic reporter at today’s White House press briefing asked Robert Gibbs about the Globe’s demise, and what it all means, and whether Barack Obama will maybe bailout all of these newspapers? With more unicorn money?? Gibbs had one of those “How should I put this…” reactions. MORE »

Here is your Robert Gibbs trying to explain to the gotcha media that when Joe Biden said “Anyone in America who goes into any sort of enclosed space will die like hotcakes,” he really meant, “God bless the troops,” because nobody messes with that Joe. (?). This does not satisfy America’s top newsman, Jake Tapper, and everyone laughs at nothing. [Ben Smith]

Famous talky-mouth Joe Biden is always plotting against us, except for part of this week when he was a Hero for talking so much to Arlen Specter that Specter had enough and said, “Okay, Jesus fucking Christ, Joe, whatever, I’ll be a Democrat. I’ll be a fucking Scientologist Mel-Gibson Catholic Turkish Imam if that’s what it takes for you to shut up.” And then we, as a nation, said, “Well Biden is good for something after all.” But then he spoke today, about something else — PIG DEATH FLU PANDEMICS — and now the travel industry wants him to apologize and then die. MORE »

It is the end of the 100 days, at some point soon! We do not know the exact day because January 20 + 100 = January 120?? (SOMEONE ASK NATE SILVER.) So the next week will be a crucial time for the Media to reflect on what has been accomplished in this arbitrary time period, for no reason, except that apparently new presidents are not allowed to do anything important when it ends. Let’s see how the White House Press Corps is reflecting about itself and its rare opportunity to ask the president’s top spokesman direct questions about anything, every day. MORE »

A long time ago, American treasure Tim Russert died, leaving an opening at America’s most important teevee chat program, Meet the Press. Goateed numbers nerd Chuck Todd was maybe going to take over, because why not, but then the Higher Ups at GE/NBC decided David Gregory should be the new host, because David Gregory can dance and dance, on teevee, which is the whole point of Meet the Press. MORE »

DOES OBAMA HATE OUR IMPORTANT NEWSPAPERS? “Last week, this president — a mere child in diapers when my generation was enjoying civil rights and the Beatles — hosted a press conference that was a vulgar deformation of the term. Instead of taking questions from the White House reporters from our most important newspapers, Obama led a rudderless free-for-all in which seemingly any miscreant who wandered in off the street could pose a question to the leader of the free world.” [AOL Political Machine]