• May 28, 2012

robert gibbs

Michelle Obama didn’t read that new book about her and the President, but she does have something to say about the tales therein. In an interview airing on CBS’s “This Morning” Wednesday (here’s a preview), the First Lady says, among other things, that she’s sick of being portrayed as “some kind of angry black woman.” [...]

Hallelujah, our FLOTUS has survived yet another dreadful year in the White House. We don’t really know how she does it, but then again, she looks like she has had a lot of endurance training. So, will 2012 be the dawn of a new era in Michelle Obama’s FLOTUS career, or will we spend another [...]

What does a powerful, immense global online network worth $60 billion need more than anything? A cozy voice in the White House! That’s why Facebook is reportedly hiring Barack Obama’s former spokesman and best buddy Robert Gibbs. The ex-White House press secretary will make “millions of dollars” in salary and stock, according to the New [...]

Hosni Mubarak announced yesterday that he enjoys being a rich dictator and is not interested in resigning so just deal with it, causing widespread grumpiness and serious blue balls throughout Egypt. And today we learn that the Egyptian army supports Mubarak’s decision to serve the rest of his term. Weak, weak sauce. Meanwhile, army leaders [...]

We did it, you guys! We defeated Robert Gibbs with our restless coverage of his LEGO-based terrorism when there was nothing else to write about last week! Yes, Mr. Robert Lane Gibbs, famed White House press secretary, is leaving the White House forever, to go work in an actual building like an actual professional member [...]

The man will stop at nothing until he has destroyed every building in D.C. made out of children’s plastic bricks. And now he’s radicalizing young, disaffected adherents of Twitter. [Twitter]

Today is a rather slow news day. Sure, we could post about Chris Christie and Mike Bloomberg not personally plowing snow out of people’s streets. There’s always a Palin thing. Today: The people of Alaska officially hate her, and the state governor’s office still won’t release her e-mails. But let’s just do an old-fashioned Wonk’d. [...]

The Obama administration will publish a report tomorrow detailing how comically pointless the War in Afghanistan really is. This is what we presume, at least, since Robert Gibbs insists the report’s findings will “not surprise” anyone. And yet, according to Fox News, the classified (of course) intelligence this report was originally based on offers “a [...]

A departing governor about to enter the political wilderness / looking for a job with the administration soon supports the tax-cut compromise? GAME, SET, AND MATCH. This is incredible news. Democrats in Congress are peeing themselves because they are powerless to stop the overwhelming legislative might of Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm. Peeing blood, that is. [...]

Okay, everybody despises the utterly useless “look at me!” transcriptionists who make up the White House Press Corps. But did the White House really need the drastic drop in dignity from the press room lectern to some crappy webcam on Robert Gibbs’ laptop? Also, why does his HAIR LOOK SO WEIRD? (Ha ha, there is [...]

Some Indian officials working security on President Obama’s foreign trip thought they could restrict the number of White House pool reporters allowed into a photo-op with Obama and Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, lowering it from eight to five, and things predictably got violent. YOU DO NOT TELL AMERICANS THEY CAN HAVE FEWER THINGS THAN THE [...]

Guess who’s tired and depressed? White House press secretary Robert Gibbs! But is it completely his fault that the Democrats may lose their congressional majority next week? Maybe! After all, he kind of looks like a gas station attendant, which is a job that does not exist, and also a hired assassin. This is according [...]

What’s up, Gibbs? Screwing around on Twitter again, instead of fixing America’s economy? And now look what happened, while America was looking inward instead of watching its Twitter Borders for scary Slavic/Muslim “eco terrorists” on the Internet: Twitter is somehow hacked! All you have to do is be a powerful figure in a socialist-thug administration, [...]

John Boehner almost said something that had meaning on Sunday, so now everyone has jumped all over it. John Boehner wants all of the Bush tax cuts to be extended forever, because why would the federal government need to fund itself? But he admitted that given a choice between extending the tax cuts just for [...]

My dearest Mo Deezy: In your Kute Sunday Kolumn, you call for the ouster of my boyfriend, Robert Gibbs. You think his recent Angrytime Yellsrant is evidence that he is adversarial with the press, hates his job, etc. Surprise! You have fallen for a very clever White Haus ruse. Maurizzle Dizzizzle, Robert Gibbs plays a [...]