Here is a clip from today’s White House press briefing, in which the hairiest man alive grills Robert Gibbs: what do you think your perception of the perception of the political perception of current political politics will be if political things happen for Democrats or Republicans in the political governors’ races in Virginia and New Jersey? Will Obama ultimately win or lose today in the politicals of political off-year politics but then something something 2010 win lose draw? Is Obama’s a failed presidency because of stuff? [YouTube]

WASHINGTON POLITICS AND WASHINGTON JOURNALISM REACH A CRUCIAL DETENTE: “A very reliable source tells FishbowlDC that Fox News SVP Michael Clemente met with White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs this morning and reached what some are calling a ‘truce.’” Nobel Peace Prizes, all. [Fishbowl DC]

Robert Gibbs, being more Nixonian than the square of Richard Nixon: “What Vice President Cheney calls ‘dithering,’ President Obama calls his solemn responsibility to the men and women in uniform and the American public. I think we’ve all seen what happens when somebody doesn’t take that responsibility seriously.” SIR that is a former crypto-President of the United States of whom you speak! Is this really appropriate, to play hardball with a belligerent psychotic ogre — literally, the worst person you could imagine — just to preserve your precious “agenda”? Is this what the presidency means to Barack Obama? [YouTube]

• WHITE HOUSE HALF-ASSEDLY ENDORSES WHATEVER DEMOCRAT IS RUNNING AGAINST MICHAEL BLOOMBERG: Ha ha ha someone asked Robert Gibbs whether Barack Obama would endorse guaranteed Democratic loser “Bill Thompson” over Michael Bloomberg in the upcoming New York mayoral election, and Gibbs responded, “The president is the leader of the Democratic Party and as that would support the Democratic nominee.” Can’t “look weak,” you know! [Gawker]

Earlier today Republican strange person Michael Steele joined his fellow party dingbats to yell at Obama for traveling to King Hamlet’s Court in Elsinore to argue for Chicago’s 2016 Olympic bid. It is Not Presidential. We have no opinion about this, but man, watch Robert Gibbs respond with his trademark dry sarcasm here! Are many people capable of saying “Madrid” with such an icy-death quality? [YouTube]

This non-existent Coast Guard sea battle with the terrorists, it is confusing. The White House is SUPER-FURIOUS at CNN! As usual, this anger is manifesting itself in the form of Robert Gibbs’ charmingly vicious sarcasm. CNN says it saw Coast Guard boats racing to catch a speeding boat on the Potomac and overheard screaming radio cries of bullets firing left and right, but no matter, it was just a “training exercise” that not a single government official seems to have known was scheduled for today, which is 9/11. Drinks all around! Meanwhile WHERE IS OSAMA? [YouTube, Michael Calderone]

Terrible Sen. Mike Enzi, Chuck Grassley’s second-in-command for reaching a bipartisan health care bill, wants to reform health care in much the same way that his superior does: by killing health care reform completely. This does not portend well for the Gang of Six! Even White House meanie Robert Gibbs admitted today that Enzi, whom Obama once praised for his good-faith negotiating efforts during a primetime press conference, has thrown his wiener in the cogs of progress one too many times now and should proceed to piss off. [TPM]

Why is the Birther hullabaloo, which has been around for over a year, suddenly escalating? Is this Lou Dobbs’ doing? No, just that people are becoming more insane, somehow, and we must all serve witness. So here’s Bill Press — remember him? Liberal? Had a teevee show or something? — asking Robert Gibbs if he can ever make the Birthers go away. Robert Gibbs says no, they’re nuts, the end. Some will argue that Gibbs shouldn’t have even responded to the question, but eh, everyone knows about it. [YouTube]

Good news, sheeple: the most important instrument in our democracy, Twitter, is not “blocked on White House computers,” and Robert Gibbs will be sent to Turkish prison for a thousand years because he lied about this on the C-SPAN. MORE »

Jesus fuck is this even America anymore? First we elect a black president, and now the Twitter is shut off in the White House? And we don’t want to hear any of this “Security concerns” balderdash, because when we last had a real American president (that fat white sack of shit Dick Cheney), and he needed to get around the “law” or whatever, he just ran his own private email servers with Karl Rove from some Tennessee pedophile listserv. [The Hill]

At Tuesday’s Obama Press Conference, CBS’ Chip Reid wanted Obama to admit that Lindsey Graham and John McCain were finally knocking some sense into his weak skull about how he needed to yell at/bomb Iran some more. America aids its friends of course! And even though Obama only kicked up his rhetoric a half-degree or so on Tuesday, Ahmadinejad was very quick to condemn America’s meddling. So today all Chip Reid wanted to know was why this idiot Obama would speak so recklessly about Iran’s internal politics — doesn’t he know anything about international relations?? [YouTube]