robert byrd
Let’s All Celebrate Constitution Day With Orrin Hatch!
Wow, Constitution Day is already here? Looks like the holiday season that began last week with 9/11 is nearly over and we all will have to go back to work soon. So what do we do on Constitution Day? BLASPHEME! This holiday was created in 2004 when the late Robert Byrd stuck it into a [...]
Sharron Angle Believes There Are ‘Domestic Enemies’ In Congress
How did we miss this? Earlier in the week it was reported that Sharron Angle agreed in a 2009 interview that there are “domestic enemies” within the “walls of the Senate and the Congress.” Wow, Americans are really dumb! You want to kill the terrorists, you guys, not elect them to high office. Unsurprisingly, because [...]
Carte Goodwin Is West Virginia’s New Sexy Robert Byrd
West Virginia Gov. Joe Manchin is “tapping” his 36-year-old former chief counsel Carte Goodwin to hold Robert Byrd’s Senate seat smokin’ hot for him until Manchin runs for it himself in a special election in November. So this Carte man will be the one to vote to continue your unemployment benefits, sexily, though not quite [...]
Robert Byrd Was World’s First ‘Super Model’; Was Also A Hoarder
Because the Senate is full of sick old people, there is actually an established policy about how long you get to clear out all of a senator’s stuff, after he dies. You get 60 days! This is fine for your ordinary senator who burned everything incriminating, but what about Robert Byrd, a man who was [...]
Evil Senate Refuses To Let C-SPAN Stick Camera In Robert Byrd’s Dead Face
People from the Radio-Television Correspondents Association have sent a “formal complaint” to Senate Rules Committee Chairman Chuck Schumer because the Senate has denied C-SPAN the permission to provide round-the-clock coverage of people looking at Robert Byrd’s wrinkly old corpse as it lies in state in the Senate Chamber. It is implied that Byrd’s family doesn’t [...]
Democrats Look To W. Va. To Shore Up Precarious 58-41 Majority
Now that we’ve all had time to mourn Robert Byrd, let’s talk replacements! West Virginia’s Secretary of State has stared at the confusing law-words on the subject and announced that Democratic Governor Manchin can appoint some Democrat to fill out almost the whole rest of Byrd’s term; a special election will be held in 2012 [...]
Steve Forbes Craps On Robert Byrd’s Fresh Grave
Robot-dweeb asswipe Steve Forbes was such a great Republican Presidential Candidate that absolutely no-one can remember that Steve Forbes did this, not so long ago. Has he vanished up the anus of his inherited wealth? No, of course not. He’s a fake Teabagger. He’s got a Twitter. And he’s so happy Robert Byrd is dead. [...]
A Children’s Treasury of Robert Byrd Video
After his weekly appearance on Showtime at the Apollo, Robert Byrd would sometimes take his fiddle down to the Opry to rock some bluegrass. He’s no Alison Kraus, but he is dead. And that along with a half century as a senator is enough reason for a Children’s Treasury of Weird Videos.
Robert Byrd Flies Away To Heaven Along With Financial Reform
After 51 years in the Senate, Robert Byrd of West Virginia died this morning at the age of 92. Byrd was literally wheeled out to vote on Obama’s health-care reform bill and has been “in failing health” for about as long as anyone can remember. The Democrat is best known for being a Ku Klux [...]
We Did Everything We Were Supposed To, But Robert Byrd Is Still Alive!
No idea if this is a hoax or not, but a self-identified Republican, “Abraham” — like the famous Jew! — called into CSPAN to ask Republican Sen. John Barrasso why Robert Byrd hadn’t died after Tom Coburn had instructed everyone to pray for it, and they had acquiesced? Maybe Tom Coburn doesn’t know God so [...]
Terrible Demon Tom Coburn Offers To Cover God’s Medicaid Expansion Beyond 2019 If He Just Kills Robert Byrd
The always admirable Sen. Dick Durbin — Barack Obama’s white father — is super upset with the behavior of this health care debate’s most shameless Senate C-Streeter, Tom Coburn, a dick. He is demanding that Coburn “explain” an earlier prayer call for a Democratic senator to miss tonight’s 1 a.m. cloture vote, SOMEHOW. Hmm. Which [...]
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