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Tag: robert byrd

Captain Kerk! I will be quik, mersssifull, misspelld and in ALL CAPS!

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Wonkette’s Reptilian Hybrids Write Horrific Pieces Of Gruel

We keep learning fascinating things from our Deleted Commenters, who this week inform us we're lizard people. And here we thought we were furries.
These are not the KKKinder and Gentler Hello KKKitties

Mike Pence ‘Denounces’ David Duke But Can’t Say He’s ‘Deplorable,’ Since That’s A Hillary Word

Mike Pence certainly condemns David Duke, but he's not about to LABEL him.
You liberals can't complain about this and still support Warren, because Reasons

Deleted Comments: Wingnuts Have ONE Joke About Elizabeth Warren. Guess What It Is? Guess!

Rightwing critics of Elizabeth Warren have ONE HILARIOUS JOKE about her, which proves that everything she says about anything is wrong.
That's his "I'm going to pull over this car!" face.

Speaker Paul Ryan Will Swat Donald Trump On His Bottom For Being Naughty Racist

If there's one thing that makes Republicans say "Oh my stars!" and "Well I never!" it is racism. STOP LAUGHING, we are not done writing this lede yet. As we all know, Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King, Jr....
It's a mystery!

Donald Trump Firmly Anti-Hitler, Will Look Into Whether KKK Terrific Or Not

Donald Trump is simply shocked, shocked that anyone would think he's friendly to racist groups, although over the weekend he seemed unwilling to say they were exactly bad. On CNN's "State of the Union" Sunday, Trump refused to disavow...
Princess Sunbutt Will Rise Again!

Deleted Comments Of The Week: More Butthurt Confederates, If You Can Believe That

Hey, would you believe that we're still getting letters from angry sons, daughters, and bastard wannabe grandchildren of the Confederacy about our piece on a proposal to move Nathan Bedford Forrest's bones out of a city park and to...
Fer one thing, its eyes are just teensy li'l things, and it don't have a hat.

Deleted Comments: Democrats Did The KKK, So Wonkette’s The REAL Racist

We sure did get a Passel o' Stupid in reply to our piece suggesting that Memphis should get rid of its big Nathan Bedford Forrest statue (the public one, not the crazy-ass Nashville abomination above, which is on private...
He's happy to stand by his man, no really

Of Course John Boehner Isn’t Going To Plunge This Knife Into Steve Scalise’s Back, Why Do You Ask?

How much does it suck to be Speaker of the House John Boehner right about now? You know the guy just wants to get his Eve of New Year's Eve drink on, but nooooooooo. Instead, he's got to stay...

Dogs Attempting To Overthrow Government of Tennessee

The police around Tennessee's state capitol building must have thought a cute dog walking around the grounds posed no threat to democracy. But they were wrong! Poor state Rep. Joanne Favors, a survivor of a "huge dog" that was...

Let’s All Celebrate Constitution Day With Orrin Hatch!

Wow, Constitution Day is already here? Looks like the holiday season that began last week with 9/11 is nearly over and we all will have to go back to work soon. So what do we do on Constitution Day?...

Labor Day Is Over, So It’s Tax Cut Time

Laboring Americans, were you excited when your Barack Obama took to the stage on Labor Day and made an exciting proposal to spend $50 billion on infrastructure, which would create many a job building things, through labor? Then...

Sharron Angle Believes There Are ‘Domestic Enemies’ In Congress

How did we miss this? Earlier in the week it was reported that Sharron Angle agreed in a 2009 interview that there are "domestic enemies" within the "walls of the Senate and the Congress." Wow, Americans are really dumb!...

Carte Goodwin Is West Virginia’s New Sexy Robert Byrd

West Virginia Gov. Joe Manchin is "tapping" his 36-year-old former chief counsel Carte Goodwin to hold Robert Byrd's Senate seat smokin' hot for him until Manchin runs for it himself in a special election in November. So this Carte...

West Wing Week’s Mysterious ‘Missing Time’

This is the week that LeBron has made, let us rejoice and be glad! America's favorite Black Athlete-Jesus has elected himself Emperor of Miami, which will surely make Elian Gonzalez regret returning home to the Bay of Pigs. But...

Robert Byrd Was World’s First ‘Super Model’; Was Also A Hoarder

Because the Senate is full of sick old people, there is actually an established policy about how long you get to clear out all of a senator's stuff, after he dies. You get 60 days! This is...