Along with thousands of other Americans, I received an e-mail this week from Senator John Kerry urging me to stand with him and block Judge Alito’s confirmation. Hey John! I can think of one thing you could have done that would have kept Judge Alito off the Court for sure. Do you know what I mean? I bet you do. Anyway, Sen. Kerry has a link for me so I can sign an open letter to my senators, urging them to stop Alito. My senators are Hillary Clinton and Chuck Schumer, so clicking that link is certain to turn the tide. MORE »

Proving that everyone is allowed at least one redeeming quality, we quote a Wall Street Journal letter to the editor written by Robert Bork:

What counts in mixology is the “original understanding” of the martini’s essence by those who first consumed it. The essence remains unaltered but allows proportions to evolve as circumstances change. Mr. Felten’s “near-perfect martini” is the same in principle as the “original-understanding martini” and therefore its legitimate descendant. Such latter-day travesties as the chocolate martini and the raspberry martini, on the other hand, are the work of activist bartenders.

Hear, hear. (Oyez, Oyez?) To this we’d like to add that the “wacky” or “funky” martini glass (without a stem, with a glass ball instead of a stem, anything featured in a Bombay Sapphire ad) is a consequence of attempting to legislate from the bar, opportunistically insisting on the existence of a “penumbra” around the martini glass. This allows for interpretations far beyond those intended by the Founding Fathers.

Bork’s full letter after the jump.

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• Jeb Bush, talking hurricane relief and support, proves to be a less-than-traditional conservative: “If Wal-Mart can do it, why can’t the government?” That’s like digging up Barry Goldwater in order to kill him again! [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]
• “Borked” versus “Miers”. What the rest of the world calls “tops” and “bottoms.” [AP, via Breitbart.com]
• Vioxx teaches its reps to play Dodgeball. Because nobody makes them bleed their own profits! Nobody! [ATLA]
• The original text of Harriet Miers resignation letter. REVEALED! [Flak Magazine]
• Red States Lose! Ozzie Guillen rubs Texas’ face in it by taking World Series victory to decidedly erotic new heights. [AP]

• Bush defends selection of Miers: “I picked the best person I could find.” Brownback, Grassley remain skeptical; Hatch, Sessions are supportive. [WP, NYT, WT, LAT, USAT]
• White House and RNC campaign to convince conservatives that Miers is a wise pick; uncertainties about Miers mutes “rapid response” from advocacy groups. [WP, WSJ, USAT]
• Bush asks Congress to offset costs of hurricane relief with “substantial” cuts in entitlement programs; says there is need for new oil refineries. [WSJ, NYT]
• Bush implies he will use executive privilege to withhold Miers documents. [NYT]
• Miers reportedly told a former boyfriend that “life begins at conception” and abortion is “taking a life”; turned to faith and conservative causes in her mid-30s. [WP, NYT, WT]
• Bork: “I think [Bush] is just trying to avoid trouble — but the message comes through: Do not be controversial, do not express strong opinions that arouse opposition.” [LAT]

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• Washington Whispers: Trent Lott found his refrigerator three blocks from his house and inside were two sentimental bottles of champagne. . . D.C. television viewers are sick of Barack Obama. . . George H.W. Bush’s presidential library plans to add mock press briefing room. . . Robert Bork jokes, “How do you pronounce Souter in Spanish? Gonzales.”. . . News-addicted actor Joe Pantoliano likes “the girls” on MSNBC, especially Natalie Morales. . . [USN&WR]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Brian Lamb marries someone named Victoria. Spokeswoman: “They were married in a small, private ceremony in the Washington area and Brian was in the office all week”. . . Hillary supporters hope “Inside the Bubble,” a new documentary about the Kerry-Edwards campaign, will end his chances in ‘08. Kerry flack David Wade: “The 20 poor souls subjected to this movie will be reaching for caffeine and begging for old Lamar Alexander tapes on C-SPAN2. Michael Moore has nothing to fear. I think the working title was ‘The Snore Room.’” [NYDN]

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• Washington Whispers: Rolex watch given to John F. Kennedy from Marilyn Monroe is up for auction; its box includes poem, “And let me love or let me die!”. . . 81% in one poll can identify Roberts. . . Some Democrats irked by Clinton’s participation in Katrina aid. . . Chertoff has an evacuation plan for his family. . . DeLay has personal vow not to frown or whine. . . Margaret Spellings exercises to the Police, Chaka Khan, Stevie Wonder, and the Carpenters. . . Romney’s religious credibility questioned by “Christian leaders.” [USN&WR]
• Inside the Beltway: Bush “took a rare break from mopping up Hurricane Katrina and bid farewell to Prince Bandar“. . . Bork’s son hawks shirts that say, “Renominate Bork! He’s tanned, rested and ready.” [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Chuck D raps about Katrina: “Son of a Bush, how you gonna trust that cat?/ To fix [bleep] when help is stuck in Iraq?” [NYDN]
• The Scoop: Al Sharpton acted as “eyes and ears” of PETA for New Orleans. [MSNBC]

• Under the Dome: Humane Society says lobbyists use cockfighting to raise money. . . Bork is against television coverage of confirmation hearings. . . Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.) will honor journalists who advanced civil rights; Dan Rather, John Siegenthaler will attend. [The Hill]
• Inside Politics: Fonda cancels bus tour to avoid overshadowing Sheehan. [WT]
• Inside the Beltway: Pierce Brosnan on Bush: “This man called President Bush has a lot to answer for. I don’t know if this man is really taking care of America.”. . . Carville, Matalin sponsor Katrina-benefit run/walk. [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Magic Johnson, Don Cheadle, Jay-Z criticize Bush’s handling of Katrina. [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Clinton buys 15 pounds of candy. [NYDN]
• The Scoop: Michael Moore is reportedly “seriously considering” making a film about government’s response to Katrina. [MSNBC]