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Posts Tagged ‘rnc’

AMERICA'S GREATEST POLITICS GUY

Michael Steele Is Confused Again; Says ‘Poop’ In Unrelated Incident

Monday, October 5th, 2009

Wacky RNC chairman Michael Steele, who is in very deep shit right now with the orange boner in charge of House Republicans, heard about all of those white coats from the American Medical Association — historically Republican allies against health care reform movements, until now, because things are just so terrible — showing up on Obama’s front lawn today, and proceeded to make his devastating move: “The AMA is–does not have the credibility on this health care issue, as they would like to project.” He will now write an op-ed for the Washington Post to introduce his latest alternative, which would order a government bureaucrat get between you and your lying so-called “doctor.” Michael Steele also said “poop” today, which was pretty cool. [The Hill]


REPUBLICANS DISCUSSING POLICY

Michael Steele Tells GOP He Refuses To Stop Embarrassing Them Because Of Something About ‘The Streets’

Monday, October 5th, 2009

Oh shit, yo! You know who simply did not care for Michael Steele’s “seniors’ bill of rights”? Well, yes, of course: seniors. But also Republicans, who had to call a Secret Republican Meeting for purposes of going around the room, counter-clockwise, and everyone saying one thing they hate most about Michael Steele. The most popular answer: any time he involves himself in policy, in any way. Upon hearing this, Steele responded with his famed composure:  “And at one point, Steele, a Washington native, said that his upbringing in the ’streets’ made him a fighter and that he was determined to continue fighting and aggressively defending the party.” MORE »


PEOPLE HATE BUREAUCRATS SO MUCH

Michael Steele Knows He Can Make This ‘Bill Of Rights, For Old People’ Schtick Work, He Just *Knows* It!

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

Jesus, didn’t Michael Steele shame himself enough times last week to realize that he should never talk about anything related to health care, publicly, again? He must really care about passing this very detailed Seniors’ Bill of Rights he introduced last week, which would heroically prevent lawmakers from EVER making any cuts to Medicare, a program which he also hates and considers indicative of why government programs are inherently dysfunctional. Good for Michael Steele! MORE »


ACTING LIKE ADULTS

RNC Health Care Survey, WOW

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Intrepid Washington Independent blog reporter Dave Weigel has earned himself another steak ‘n’ baked dinner tonight by obtaining this, the RNC’s “2009 Future of American Health Survey.” YES. THAT IS LITERALLY QUESTION FOUR. Republicans, man! C’mon! Some of us just want to have a functioning polity here, okay? [Washington Independent]


BIG NEWS

Oh Look! Kill The Public Option, And Republicans Still Complain About Socialism!

Monday, August 17th, 2009

We have no idea what’s going on behind closed doors on Capitol Hill or in the White House (just kidding, we know it all and will never tell you!), but it seems obvious that the Republican leadership has invested so much (all) of its energy into shouting “GOVERNMENT TAKEOVER OF HEALTHCARE” at the prospect of any legislation that simply removing the small, imaginary basis for this shouting — a public health insurance plan to compete with private insurers on a new health insurance exchange — would not change anything. And guess what! The RNC released a statement this afternoon saying that, indeed, co-ops are also evil socialistic government-run health care systems from the U.S.S.R. programmed to kill your white grandparents and children. MORE »


CRAZINESS!!

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009
  • MICHAEL STEELE RESPONDS TO RNC-REROUTING-PHONE-CALLS-TO-DNC-GATE: A kindly news-scribe at CBS credits your Wonkette for first “flagging” the bit about how the RNC has been redirecting DNC-instigated calls back to the DNC all day, and then, comically, asks Michael Steele about this: “Steele, sounding angry, then said, ‘don’t sit there and think that you’re going to direct a bunch of angry liberals’ to the RNC … ‘To sit back and say that this is some Republican cabal is a bunch of baloney,’ he said. ‘And you can substitute that B for something else if you want.’” A barrel of baloney? [CBS]

JUST PASS HEALTH CARE ALREADY

DNC, RNC Engage In Very Important Telephone Hijink War

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009

Here’s a fresh, confrontational new DNC ad telling people (rightly) to expect violent, insane crowds of mouth-breathing wingnuts at their local health care town halls this month unless they call the RNC immediately and ask, “please rein in your violent, insane crowds of mouth-breathing wingnuts at my local health care town halls.” But according to rich telephone-owning operative “RoseAnn,” the RNC number provided in the ad just takes you right back to the lousy gay Democrats: “When you call the RNC to complain … they connect you to the DNC - i called back and pushed const. affairs instead and the lady there laughed about it - and said the dems called us nazis so we have to fight fire w/ fire….” Another exciting Wednesday in Washington! [YouTube]


ANNALS OF INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY LAW

McCain Settles With 70s Musician Over Use Of Long-Forgotten Song In Obscure Web Ad

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

Oh, Walnuts.Last year, poor ol’ Johnny Walnuts spent 75 percent of his campaign either changing Sarah Palin’s runny diapers or apologizing to once-famous musicians for using their songs in campaign commercials that nobody watched. One of those musicians was Jackson Browne, who, like John Mellencamp, could have had a brilliant career as a composer of truck commercial jingles, but instead decided to waste his talents on being a liberal. MORE »


THE SOLUTION IS TREVOR

Michael Steele Finally Produces Hip-Hop Solution To Health Care

Monday, June 22nd, 2009

Good news for America’s uninsured, fat Poors: RNC Chairman Michael Steele knows how to make your healths better. It’s easy! Just fix it, okay baby? MORE »


REPUBLICANS ON THE INTERNET

Michael Steele Is Watching Your YouTubes

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

“Fuck off and die,” Steele says, to the YouTube viral media star. No, just kidding, he invites him to Washington for a blowjob, because of math. MORE »


TERRORISTS HAVE NUKES IN THEIR TUMMIES

RNC: “Any News Ideas? No? Fine, Throw Together A Standard ‘Daisy’ Thing”

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

Just in time for Video Friday comes the RNC’s latest Guantanamo Bay video, outlining the very serious position that all but six members of the United States Senate have taken with regard to prisoner detention. [Balloon Juice]