Good news for America’s uninsured, fat Poors: RNC Chairman Michael Steele knows how to make your healths better. It’s easy! Just fix it, okay baby? MORE »

“Fuck off and die,” Steele says, to the YouTube viral media star. No, just kidding, he invites him to Washington for a blowjob, because of math. MORE »

Just in time for Video Friday comes the RNC’s latest Guantanamo Bay video, outlining the very serious position that all but six members of the United States Senate have taken with regard to prisoner detention. [Balloon Juice]

Of all the people/organizations in Washington most likely to embarrass themselves with Twitter’s power of spontaneity, those masterful enablers of the Inadvertently Hilarious at the RNC probably lead the pack. So look what they found yesterday: a word-play! Oh that Obama, that lying OBAMA, one day it’s “Constitution” this, another day “Gay Europe” that. Links to a brief YouTube clip, with no historical context. Does anyone want to learn the historical context, though? No! This isn’t Harvard or whatever the hell it’s called, the other one, Dart-Mouth. MORE »

The RNC resolutions committee has… what is this… gone to the brink of executing some majestically stupid national-embarrassment stunt and PULLED BACK? Why it appears that the liberal rapper, Michael Steele, is ruining everyone’s fun: “Members of the Republican National Committee today have shelved a proposal to name the Democratic Party… the Democrat Socialist Party. In an agreement today, two RNC members who were sponsoring the resolution at a party assembly today said they had agreed to change the resolution’s language to urge Americans to oppose what the GOP is calling the Democrats’ ’socialist’ agenda.” This came after Steele issued a memo opposing the renaming because it would “accomplish little than to give the media and our opponents the opportunity to mischaracterize Republicans.” Hey Michael, SSSSHHHH. Stop spilling secrets! We need the JOKES, baby. [The Swamp]

Sarah Palin’s long sartorial nightmare is over, as the Federal Election Commission finally decided that the bazillions of dollars spent on her pacifiers, Italian couture jackets, and Victoria’s Secret lingerie were legal. Palin’s clothes did not constitute “personal use of campaign funds” because the funds in question came from the RNC instead of the McCain/Palin campaign. MORE »

RNC comedy act Michael Steele has delivered his very hyped speech to state GOP chairmen about how… today… today the Republican Party rises anew! RIGHT NOW, baby. Craziness! What’s different? Well: abortions for all! Free hamburgers and catsup! 9/11? Huh. Steele believes that “the future of the GOP,” starting today, “lies not in looking back but in pushing forward.” Time to insult Ronald Reagan! MORE »

Hey look they finally hired somebody who has some sort of vestigial sense of humor, and who has seen a movie in the last 40 years! Extra points for the closing shot, which cleverly suggests that Democrats = Pussy. Chew on this while your editor finds some coffee. [YouTube]

The RNC made a good decision here to hedge its incomprehensibility with a disclaimer in the first frame: “Political Satire.” So remember when you’re watching this ad: it’s just “Political Satire.” You cannot apply for an ObamaCard because there is no such thing. “Political Satire.” Speaking of credit cards, remember when all-but-one of these very Republicans voted to preserve the ObamaCard companies’ usurious practices today? [Boston Globe]

Call it the Road to Recovery, you queer fink motherfuckers: a web ad from the RNC, to commemorate Obama’s 100 days of Famine, posted yesterday and immediately pulled for being terrible. Watch what appears to be a Southern white man doing his “blacky voice” over video of Obama’s inauguration speech. MORE »

It’s been a while since we’ve checked in on the trials of Michael Steele, the African-American who runs the Republican Party with his peculiar blend of comedic verve. They hate him, the other Republicans, because he wants to try new things. (Also because he is an abortionist.) We had thought that maybe he wasn’t in the news so much anymore because he had been secretly fired and exiled back to Prince George’s County, Maryland, while that South Carolina confederate colonel “Kat-On” assumed his rightful throne. But he’s still around and guess what? This: “Republican state party leaders are rebelling against new Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele for failing to dub President Obama and the Democrats as ’socialist.’” Oh my god. MORE »