Tag Archives: riots

  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Poverty Is A Myth Because Poors Are Fat And Lazy

Dear Editor: I have had it up to here with playing second fiddle to a bunch of stupid marshmallow horses...
We got a bumper crop of idiots in the comments this week, for some reason — our fault, really, since Yr Wonkette had to go and stir up trouble by writing stuff about the poors, the blacks, the gays, and the Duggars — add your own punchline. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Poverty Is A Myth Because Poors Are Fat And Lazy…
  Just what everyone needs

NRA: Know What Baltimore Needs? More Guns, So Everybody Can Stand Their Ground!

This would fix everything
With all of those people marching and looting and hip-hopping in the streets again, the National Rifle Association’s social media experts have teamed up with Still Dead Andrew Breitbart’s Cyber Tickle Fest For Insecure Neckbeards to tell America the HARD TRUTH about the rampant thuggery in Baltimore: Read more on NRA: Know What Baltimore Needs? More Guns, So Everybody Can Stand Their Ground!…
  Revised Revisionist History

Fox Knows Who Is To Blame For Ferguson Riots (It’s Still Eric Holder Obvs)

They just can't seem to quit him
Fox News wasted no time in repackaging the news that the Justice Department is not expected to file civil rights charges against Darren Wilson in the killing of Michael Brown, according to a report in the New York Times, into an astonishingly distorted pack of lies about Ferguson. Yes, we know you’re shocked. Read more on Fox Knows Who Is To Blame For Ferguson Riots (It’s Still Eric Holder Obvs)…
  Isn't It Iconic? A Little Too Iconic.

Will Fox News Accuse Ferguson Of Doing War On Christmas?

2014 America in one photo
Just a quick question for Todd Starnes and Bill O’Reilly: Would this photo be better or worse if the sign said “Merry Christmas”? Our guess: If Fox News does mention this sign, one of the resident Professionally Oppressed Christians will argue that perhaps Ferguson brought some of the misery on itself. If only they’d reminded the young hotheads — the rioters, of course, not the dudes firing tear gas willy nilly — that Jesus is the Reason for the Season, they’d have calmed down and gone home. We can almost guarantee we will see someone claim that in all sincerity. Read more on Will Fox News Accuse Ferguson Of Doing War On Christmas?…
  An Orgy Of White-On-Orange Violence

It’s The Great Pumpkin Riot, Scott Brown

Now that he’s running for Senate in New Hampshire, former Massachusetts Sen. Scott Brown is totally A Guy From New Hampshire who would never miss the New Hampshirest of all possible events, the Pumpkin Festival in Keene. Even though this folksy college town was a powder keg of white rage just waiting to explode into pumpkin-splattered violence. While Scott was connecting with law-abiding harvest revelers, mobs of angry white youth wreaked havoc just around the corner. Read more on It’s The Great Pumpkin Riot, Scott Brown…
  keep calm and derp on

A Children’s Treasury Of Thoughtful Reactions To The Zimmerman Verdict

Oh, hi, Wonkers, have you been kind of walking around all numb and glassy-eyed since George Zimmerman was acquitted of all charges on Saturday? Yr Wonkette has been wondering just how to make a “humor blog” in the midst of all this; we think we will just settle for things that make us stare, open-mouthed, at their complete cluelessness. Like maybe George Zimmerman’s idiot brother Robert, who has been going out of his way to seem like a far worse human being than the man who shot and killed Trayvon Martin. On Saturday night, shortly after the verdict, CNN’s Don Lemon asked Robert Zimmerman what could help with “healing the divide,” prompting this message of healing and hope: Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Thoughtful Reactions To The Zimmerman Verdict…
  occupy 2012

2012: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy As the Human World Breaks Apart

The modern idea that human civilization would collapse in 2012 supposedly goes back to another overextended American empire on its last legs, that of the Maya. But like so much wrong thinking now popular in today’s United States, this concept made its first impression on the nation’s nervous consciousness through the teevee screen. In Search Of, the syndicated paranormal program hosted by Leonard Nimoy, claimed that the Mesoamerican long count calendar came to an end on December 24, 2011. (That date has moved a year forward in today’s paranoid circles.) You are probably waiting for the “Ron Paul connection,” at this point, and it is this: According to Leonard Nimoy reading a script for a pseudoscience documentary series in 1977, the end of the Mayan calendar would bring a cataclysmic earthquake, the collapse of the dominant civilization, and the creation of an internationalist New World Order. Actual scholars of the ancient Mayan culture, however, believe the end of the calendar would bring not disaster, but a wonderful celebration. Who’s right? WHO WILL WIN? Read more on 2012: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy As the Human World Breaks Apart…
  kittens!

Washington Post Illustrates Oakland Police Brutality With Cop Petting Kitty

Faced with endless photographic documentation of the insane violence of 500 riot cops against a group of protesters in Oakland, the Washington Post editors proved they are good Kaplan 1% corporate lackeys and choose this picture of … a riot cop petting a kitten. Not just any kitten, though. According to the Washington Post, the shameful excuse for a newspaper in the nation’s capital, it’s a kitten that was cruelly left there by the evil protesters. Hooray for the cops! Protesters hate kittens. Read more on Washington Post Illustrates Oakland Police Brutality With Cop Petting Kitty…
  four more years

Obama Raises Money In San Francisco As Cops Gas Oakland Protesters

Here’s what Barack Obama did Tuesday: An interview with teevee clown Jay Leno, followed by a flight to San Francisco to raise money from gazillionaire venture capitalists. Here’s what the riot cops from 10 Bay Area police departments did on Tuesday night, just across the bay in Oakland: Fire “rubber bullets” on protesters demanding economic reforms, shoot “chemical agents” and “concussion grenades” at protesters demanding economic reforms, injure protesters reportedly including an Iraq veteran and somebody in a wheelchair and a child, and fire some bizarre “sonic cannon” developed by the Pentagon to torture foreign Arabs somewhere. Read more on Obama Raises Money In San Francisco As Cops Gas Oakland Protesters…
  occupy OPD

500 Riot Cops Attack #OccupyOakland With Tear Gas, Rubber Bullets

What will it be like when America’s tensed-up trigger-finger cops are finally let loose upon the populist demonstrations all over the country? We got a pretty good preview early this morning in Oakland, where the Darth Vader-masked shock troops were set upon the peaceful protesters in their small, peaceful encampment. According to witnesses calling in to KQED, the time between the frenzied megaphone demands that everyone clear out and the assault of “flash grenades and chemical agents” was a matter of maybe three minutes. In the course of mass uprisings, it is always an important factor whether the working class police and military grunts choose the interests of the community or the interests of those hiding within their mansions on the hill. Read more on 500 Riot Cops Attack #OccupyOakland With Tear Gas, Rubber Bullets…
  herman cain's chilean model

Will Herman Cain Propose Chilean-Style Student Riots?

Jabbering nincompoop Herman Cain is the new star of the GOP 2012 Campaign, this week — that’s how much Republicans don’t like their front-runner, Mitt Romney. Herman Cain’s policy positions are as ridiculous as they are insane: Something about the Number Nine, Number Nine, and then something about Obama showing up at GOP debates to ask Herman Cain how to hire minimum-wage pizza delivery people, and then the special privatized Social Security scheme supposedly from Chile. Herman Cain’s platform is like searching Google for the word “the” and picking three random results from the ninth page and then adding “Chilean Model,” for pageviewz. BUT, it seems his favorite country has actually exploded with the most intense riots of the moment. Hot commie gals! Riot dogs! Blood and fire! It’s fantastic. Herman Cain probably wants some Chilean-style General Strike riots to demolish Wall Street and then go after the regional fast-food chains, right? Because Chile is the new example for Republican Politics …. Read more on Will Herman Cain Propose Chilean-Style Student Riots?…
  and darth vader was actually the *hero* of star wars

Ann Coulter: Police Should Fire On Liberal Protesters More Often

Golden turd soundbite machine Ann Coulter has squeezed out another Important Opinion about history: The police were doing a great job when they were firing on those annoying Kent State protesters. Why is state power even there if not to kill protesters? Packs of “unruly” protesters are free target practice. In fact, while we’re at it, let’s just shoot any congregation of Democrats. It’s what Abraham Lincoln would do. Watch the video after the jump! Read more on Ann Coulter: Police Should Fire On Liberal Protesters More Often…
  the long hot summer

Matt Drudge Very Concerned By ‘Urban Chaos’ and ‘Urban Youth’

It turns out that daily catastrophic tornadoes are not the only problem faced by America’s cities these days. Traditionally at the bottom of America’s socioeconomic system since being brought here in chains at the bottom of slave slips, black people seem to once again be having a very hard time of it during the Great Recession, and that has perhaps led to waves of “street protests” or “flash mobs” or “race riots” or “urban chaos” from Boston to Long Island to Washington to Charlotte to Miami. Or maybe some kids got drunk and obnoxious in a couple of places, as all kids tend to do. The troubles started over Memorial Day Weekend, which is legally supposed to be about honoring those Americans killed in America’s constant overseas wars but also marks the beginning of the summer. And summertime is when the rioting is easy. Read more on Matt Drudge Very Concerned By ‘Urban Chaos’ and ‘Urban Youth’…
  leading political theorists

Serially Unemployed Meghan McCain Has Thoughts On Wisconsin Workers

What is Meghan McCain up to these days? When she’s not buying AC/DC pajamas at Walmart for her new Daily Beast colleagues Howard Kurtz and Andrew Sullivan, she’s been very hard at work composing her fortnightly column. Yes, that’s every two weeks. What a workload! Tina Brown should be careful; Meghan could hurt her back and be on disability for months. Meghan tried her best to come up with an opinion on the Wisconsin unions and runaway state senators. She really did! The result doesn’t really make sense, but we think she’s trying to say unions should just let it go and allow the state government to do whatever it wants, because this is all hurting society. Sure, Meg agrees a $89,000 a year salary doesn’t “seem” like a lot of money for people who don’t have trust funds, but humanity itself will be doomed if we continue to let unions collectively bargain. Read more on Serially Unemployed Meghan McCain Has Thoughts On Wisconsin Workers…
  it's morning in america

Egypt On the Verge, Biden Praises Mubarak, Protests Spread To Yemen

How many awful, corrupt U.S. client states in the Middle East will collapse under the weight of immense daily protests? The anti-government movement in Egypt makes its biggest show today, with massive numbers of people filling the streets of nearly every big town. Hosni Mubarak’s government has responded in a slow, plodding way but is finally turning to large-scale violence and the usual authoritarian stunts that seem to just make people angrier — today, Egypt’s leadership has turned off every Internet access point and cell phone tower it can figure out how to shut down. Meanwhile, in Washington, Vice President Joe Biden praised Cairo’s 82-year-old dictator like this: “Mubarak has been an ally of ours in a number of things. And he’s been very responsible on, relative to geopolitical interest in the region, the Middle East peace efforts; the actions Egypt has taken relative to normalizing relationship with, with Israel …. I would not refer to him as a dictator.” Of course Hosni’s not a dictator! He listens to his masters in Washington! Meanwhile, the protests are heating up in Yemen, a desperately poor country that has been one of America’s punching bags for years whenever it needs to act “tough on terrorism” by having a billion-dollar robot death plane drop a few “smart bombs” on a goat farmer. [NYT/Guardian/ABC News/CSM] Read more on Egypt On the Verge, Biden Praises Mubarak, Protests Spread To Yemen… Read more on Egypt On the Verge, Biden Praises Mubarak, Protests Spread To Yemen…
  it's morning in america

Rioting Afghans Really Getting Into the ‘Spirit Of 9/11’

Crazy Pastor McMustache may have cancelled his Quran-burning party — or only “suspended” it, who knows — but that hasn’t stopped our friends in Afghanistan from getting in on the fun! In the spirit of reciprocity, 10,000 or so Afghans threw stones at a German-manned NATO base, either because they have been paying very close attention and know this Terry Jones fellow got his start in Germany, or because, you know, all white people look alike. Anyway, it went better for the guys with the guns than it did for the guys with the rocks, as usual. Read more on Rioting Afghans Really Getting Into the ‘Spirit Of 9/11’… Read more on Rioting Afghans Really Getting Into the ‘Spirit Of 9/11’…
  Not every clown is sad

Clown Tries Out Comedy Routine At Public Meeting-Riot

In the Los Angeles suburb of Bell, California, several hundred angry citizens showed up at a city council meeting to demand that four of their five council members resign for earning exorbitant salaries and letting the town become an “epicenter of corruption,” the Wall Street Journal reports. Many people in attendance shouted and waved their arms around, but the highlight was a patriotic circus clown who took advantage of the moment to tell jokes about rattlesnakes and lawyers, or rattlesnake-lawyers. (It’s hard to hear him, what with all the yelling.) Read more on Clown Tries Out Comedy Routine At Public Meeting-Riot…
  'we want obama money'

King’s Army, Cromwellians Parry At G20

The YouTubes are flooded with protest videos from G20 where, in quieter quarters, Obama is giving the Queen an iPod filled with libidinous American “noise.” This offers a good Aerial Shot, though, of the protesters — whose parents are probably inside the conference, deciding interest rate policy — taunting the Bobbies, who simply have to take one step forward to scare them all away for a few seconds. [YouTube] Read more on King’s Army, Cromwellians Parry At G20…
  civil war

IT HAS BEGUN: Wonkette Operative “Danielle R.” says there’s a riot going on, outside the Homeland Security Reichstag: “Few hundred people are outside the DHS/ICE building on 12th and D SW with a huge American flag, protesting immigration policy … ‘Reform Not Raids’ is their mantra, I think. The guy on the bullhorn sounds like Jimmy Smits, but maybe that’s just because i watched too much West Wing yesterday. Cops are starting to swarm, traffic is backing up a bit. Ooh sirens, yay.” Read more on …
  white trash

Palin Idiots Armed & Dangerous … To Each Other!

Two jackasses in SUVs were in traffic leaving a Sarah Palin Klan Rally in Colorado on Monday when one, in a Kia, tried to pull ahead of the guy in the Chrysler. They yelled whatever at each other, then the Chrysler jackass pulled a loaded handgun on the other Palin loser. After he was arrested, the 62-year-old gun nut told the cops he “wanted to be ready for anything.” Jesus fucking christ, we all need to go buy a million guns this weekend, because these dingbats are going to go berserk on Election Night. [Post Independent] Read more on Palin Idiots Armed & Dangerous … To Each Other!…
  disco inferno

America’s Cops Prepare For Race War

Oh christ, when we wrote this madness yesterday, we were kidding! (Sort of.) But America’s millions of cops are not kidding at all — they’re expecting some kind of serious shit to go down the night of November 4, after the election is stolen. You know, race riots! Read more on America’s Cops Prepare For Race War…
  more war

These People Do Not Like War, In Denver

On our 17-mile march from downtown Denver to “The Perimeter,” which is a police blockade at least another 17 miles from the actual Pepsi Center, we ran into these friends. Thousands of riot cops, thousands of hippies, thousands of blocked crossways and pedestrian routes to The Perimeter. They are protesting Barack Obama’s War in Iraq, as well as the fact that anyone is dying anywhere in the world. Let’s immanentize their eschaton, after the jump. Read more on These People Do Not Like War, In Denver…