Wonkette

On our 17-mile march from downtown Denver to “The Perimeter,” which is a police blockade at least another 17 miles from the actual Pepsi Center, we ran into these friends. Thousands of riot cops, thousands of hippies, thousands of blocked crossways and pedestrian routes to The Perimeter. They are protesting Barack Obama’s War in Iraq, as well as the fact that anyone is dying anywhere in the world. Let’s immanentize their eschaton, after the jump. MORE »

With nothing better to do these days, Ron Paul and his crazed followers bum-rushed the Nevada Republican Convention in Reno on Saturday — and they upended the whole process, which was supposed to be an “Oh well let’s give our Romney support to McCain since he is apparently the nominee.” They voted to change the party’s rules and seize the state’s delegates for Dr. Congressman Ron Paul! Hilarious! Then, convention chairman Bob Beers shut down the whole event, claiming the Peppermill Casino was going to kick them out for continuing beyond 5 p.m., which was a total lie, so the Paultards tried to kill him, and he barely escaped with his life! MORE »

Forty years ago tonight, Washington burned, baby, burned — just as so many other cities burned after Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination. And it only took about 40 years to fix up some of the destroyed neighborhoods along H Street NE, 14th and U, and various other chunks of the District that ended up looking like Hiroshima after the Bomb. And now Wonkette’s own Liz Glover says the National Guard actually burnt D.C. to the ground, not the freaked-out rioters. MORE »

Fears of a massive rat & roach spring swarm have crippled much of the District this evening as horrified office workers and other war profiteers watch major thoroughfares blocked off by mounted police while 20-foot-tall “rat proofing” concrete barriers are raised from Georgetown to Foggy Bottom. Law enforcement officials are keeping quiet about the real reasons for the horror stampede, and many locals fear for their lives. What the living hell is going on? MORE »

Riots following the assassination of Benazir Bhutto killed at least an additional couple of dozen people in Pakistan today, as Bhutto was buried and the Pakistani government claimed that she hit her head and that some Talibani guy did it and, whatever, the world kind of sucks tonight and I needed to see something semi-heartwarming. After the jump, a picture of ordinary Pakistanis peacefully making their way to pay their respects at Bhutto’s funeral, because tonight the news will be all riots and death and world politics and that isn’t the whole truth, either.

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Nicholas, how do you expect me to walk away when you insist on thrusting yourself into my consciousness with every opportunity? It is unfair, my love, for you to take up with that French hussy and yet strive to keep me on a string. If you don’t want me, please let me go and find someone new! Those pictures of you being all compassionate and stuff were truly too much for me, and people have begun to talk. [NY Times]

One fun part of America that’s sadly missing from modern life is the Race Riot. These exciting events were caused by various factors such as race, racism, poverty, white cops hating on black kids, no jobs, the FBI killing MLK, etc. During the 1967 Detroit riots, Governor Romney (always the same people, forever!) called in the Army, and a combined 17,000 troops and cops finally crushed the insurrection after five days. Central Detroit was basically destroyed. Between 1964 and 1971, there were similar riots in DC, LA, New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Cleveland, Baltimore, Kansas City … pretty much every big city and lots of smaller ones, 700 riots in all.

Why did they end, and when will they finally return? Barry and Walnuts have all the answers, after the jump.

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The best meeting in World Bank history went down at a press conference this morning. The head of the bank’s Staff Association demanded Wolfowitz’s resignation, then demanded the release of documents related to Wolfowitz’s hiring of his mistress. They opened the floor to questions, employees bitched for a while, then it all got even more entertaining. MORE »

As Bono taught us, wrongly, Martin Luther King was assassinated in the “early morning, April 4″ of 1968 — 39 years ago today. (It was actually 6:01 p.m. There was no Wikipedia back then, so at least he got the date right.) Today is the real Martin Luther King Day. MORE »

* Baristas from Murky Coffee and Tryst took 1st and 4th in some sort of Mid-Atlantic/Northeast contest. [DCist]
* You know that valet bike parking we mentioned in To Do? Well, WABA needs volunteers. [WABA]
* “There are two visions for our public schools emerging now in the District — two camps: One is saying, ‘Mayor, Order Those Schools To Be Good!’ The other is saying, ‘Mayor, It Takes a Village, Not a King.’ Though you wouldn’t know it by reading the Washington Post, more and more people are joining the second camp and are speaking out against the mayor’s proposal to take the public schools from the public.” [Sam Smith's City Desk]
* “So don’t waste this incredible opportunity, D.C. If Georgetown wins tomorrow, and especially Monday, don’t hold back. Flood the streets. Overturn some cars. Light a few fires. Those really nice stores along M Street, with their large windows? Perfect for looting.” [The DC Universe]
* Second-date ideas, including Tallula which has a “prix fixe wine and dinner tasting menu. It’s five courses of perfect pairings and for only about $75 per person, including tip …. The wine manager comes to the table to introduce the wine before each course and you get a little sheet of paper to jot down notes about the wines. Oh, and they tailor it for beginners, intermediate, and advanced.” [The DC Concierge]