Oh, hi, Wonkers, have you been kind of walking around all numb and glassy-eyed since George Zimmerman was acquitted of all charges on Saturday? Yr Wonkette has been wondering just how to make a “humor blog” in the midst of all this; we think we will just settle for things that make us stare, open-mouthed, […]

The modern idea that human civilization would collapse in 2012 supposedly goes back to another overextended American empire on its last legs, that of the Maya. But like so much wrong thinking now popular in today’s United States, this concept made its first impression on the nation’s nervous consciousness through the teevee screen. In Search […]

Faced with endless photographic documentation of the insane violence of 500 riot cops against a group of protesters in Oakland, the Washington Post editors proved they are good Kaplan 1% corporate lackeys and choose this picture of … a riot cop petting a kitten. Not just any kitten, though. According to the Washington Post, the […]

Here’s what Barack Obama did Tuesday: An interview with teevee clown Jay Leno, followed by a flight to San Francisco to raise money from gazillionaire venture capitalists. Here’s what the riot cops from 10 Bay Area police departments did on Tuesday night, just across the bay in Oakland: Fire “rubber bullets” on protesters demanding economic […]

What will it be like when America’s tensed-up trigger-finger cops are finally let loose upon the populist demonstrations all over the country? We got a pretty good preview early this morning in Oakland, where the Darth Vader-masked shock troops were set upon the peaceful protesters in their small, peaceful encampment. According to witnesses calling in […]

Jabbering nincompoop Herman Cain is the new star of the GOP 2012 Campaign, this week — that’s how much Republicans don’t like their front-runner, Mitt Romney. Herman Cain’s policy positions are as ridiculous as they are insane: Something about the Number Nine, Number Nine, and then something about Obama showing up at GOP debates to […]

Golden turd soundbite machine Ann Coulter has squeezed out another Important Opinion about history: The police were doing a great job when they were firing on those annoying Kent State protesters. Why is state power even there if not to kill protesters? Packs of “unruly” protesters are free target practice. In fact, while we’re at […]

It turns out that daily catastrophic tornadoes are not the only problem faced by America’s cities these days. Traditionally at the bottom of America’s socioeconomic system since being brought here in chains at the bottom of slave slips, black people seem to once again be having a very hard time of it during the Great […]

What is Meghan McCain up to these days? When she’s not buying AC/DC pajamas at Walmart for her new Daily Beast colleagues Howard Kurtz and Andrew Sullivan, she’s been very hard at work composing her fortnightly column. Yes, that’s every two weeks. What a workload! Tina Brown should be careful; Meghan could hurt her back […]

How many awful, corrupt U.S. client states in the Middle East will collapse under the weight of immense daily protests? The anti-government movement in Egypt makes its biggest show today, with massive numbers of people filling the streets of nearly every big town. Hosni Mubarak’s government has responded in a slow, plodding way but is […]

Crazy Pastor McMustache may have cancelled his Quran-burning party — or only “suspended” it, who knows — but that hasn’t stopped our friends in Afghanistan from getting in on the fun! In the spirit of reciprocity, 10,000 or so Afghans threw stones at a German-manned NATO base, either because they have been paying very close […]

In the Los Angeles suburb of Bell, California, several hundred angry citizens showed up at a city council meeting to demand that four of their five council members resign for earning exorbitant salaries and letting the town become an “epicenter of corruption,” the Wall Street Journal reports. Many people in attendance shouted and waved their […]

The YouTubes are flooded with protest videos from G20 where, in quieter quarters, Obama is giving the Queen an iPod filled with libidinous American “noise.” This offers a good Aerial Shot, though, of the protesters — whose parents are probably inside the conference, deciding interest rate policy — taunting the Bobbies, who simply have to […]

CIVIL WAR  12:32 pm January 21, 2009

by Ken Layne

IT HAS BEGUN: Wonkette Operative “Danielle R.” says there’s a riot going on, outside the Homeland Security Reichstag: “Few hundred people are outside the DHS/ICE building on 12th and D SW with a huge American flag, protesting immigration policy … ‘Reform Not Raids’ is their mantra, I think. The guy on the bullhorn sounds like […]

Two jackasses in SUVs were in traffic leaving a Sarah Palin Klan Rally in Colorado on Monday when one, in a Kia, tried to pull ahead of the guy in the Chrysler. They yelled whatever at each other, then the Chrysler jackass pulled a loaded handgun on the other Palin loser. After he was arrested, […]