Tag: RINOs

Oh look, Wonkette Baby is watching her first playoff game!

Sarah Palin Had A Crappy Week, Dontcha Know? Your Weekly Top Ten.

Good morning, Wonke-RINOS. Haha just kidding, you are not RINOs, you are not even Republicans, pfffffft. (Unless you are, in which case have we met?) Anyway, it is time for us to put liquor in our Saturday morning coffee...

Meet Kentucky’s New Cock-Fightin’ Teabaggin’ Gov. Matt Bevin!

Kentucky's a hell of a drug. Extra-crispy wingnut Matt Bevin was too crazy even for Republican primary voters to send him to the Senate in place of RINO Majority Leader Mitch McConnell in 2014, so the whole state decided Bevin...

Paul Ryan Grabs His Ankles For GOP Wingnuts, Will Be Speaker Until They Kill Him Too

A super SEXCITING thing happened on Capitol Hill on Thursday. Yes, Hillary Clinton became president during the Benghazi hearing, doy, but we're talking about the other sexciting thing: the end of Rep. Paul Ryan's political future! Ryan had reluctantly agreed to run for speaker of...
Should somebody call the cops?

North Carolina Teabagger Candidate Needs Your Help Murdering People, We Think

It's time to meet our new best friend, aren't you excited, Wonketariat? Her name is Kay Daly, and she is running for Congress in the North Carolina district currently served by Renee Ellmers, who is an obvious RINO. What's so...

Nice Republicans Demand SCOTUS Give Them All The Gay Marriages

What a silly news day it has been, what with learning that Future Permanent Queen Of America Hillary Clinton still has to load one of those free AOL disks every time she wants to do either diplomacy or lunch...

Tough Guy Mitch McConnell Gonna Punch All Those Tea Party Bullies POW Right In The Nose

You know who is a tough guy? Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell is a tough guy, and you know this is true, because in a conference call with Karl Rove and other RINOs, he said why, why, he's agonna...

McCain Aide Very Very Sorry He Unleashed Sarah Palin ‘Freak Show’ Upon U.S. America

Steve Schmidt, the political adviser who suggested that John McCain choose a fresh new face from Alaska as his running mate, now says he has "deep regret" for his role in helping to bring on the "freak show that's...

Megan McCain Wants to Know if Her Party Will Betray God, Acknowledge Existence of Climate Change

Here’s an interesting question: what if one of America’s oldest and greatest cities was covered in ocean water and subjected to a once-in-a-lifetime style weather event because the moon happened to be full when a tropical hurricane drifted north...

Mean Old Alan Simpson Not Done Yelling At Republicans

Here is the thing about the newest RINO, former Alan Simpson: back when he was Wyoming's lone Congressman and then its senator, he was about as conservative as Republicans got -- save a Jesse Helms here and an old...

Final Proof Barack Obama Is Republican

He looks like Reagan, he acts like Reagan, and now you know that Barack "Barry" Obama is Reagan, as proven by this 1964 political campaign button that is actually referencing 1960s' heartthrob Barry Gibb Barry Goldwater. Click for the...

Republican Pickup Truck Owner Fears Rhinoceros Attack In Missouri

What is ruining America for middle-aged white guys who drive monstrous pickup trucks around the Ozarks thanks to the oil from Islamofascist dictatorships? Oh, the usual: President Obama, "the news media," and higher education. Also, beware of "rhinos," also....

Team Sarah Worried That Fox News Is Becoming Anti-Palin, Not Sure Where They Will Get Their News Now

Team Sarah knows that the only place truth can possibly exist is in their teevee box, when it's tuned to Fox News. But what happens when Fox News talks about Sarah Palin and it's not in the religiously masturbatory...

Scott Brown’s Facebook Fans Are FURIOUS At Scott Brown Again

America's new Ted Kennedy, Senator Scott Brown, just can't stop himself from enraging the tri-corner Internet lamers who rallied nationwide to help him defeat some Democrat lady who didn't even really try to win. Brown's latest treachery was voting...

John McCain Will Repeal Health Care Reform, Through Magic, If You Send Him Money

A pathetic, amoral piece of garbage who is utterly terrified of losing his fat-cat Senate privileges, that's John McCain: "I believe we must repeal this bill immediately. I am currently working in every way possible on your behalf to...

Naked Scott Brown To Campaign For John McCain!

A certain nude senator from the state of Taxachusetts wowed the Tea Party Nation with his non-Martha-Coakleyness, which was enough to get him elected, but ever since then he has been SELLING OUT. Exhibit A: his outrageous vote for...

History’s Most Important Election In An Odd-Numbered Year, In Cartoon Form

By the Comics CurmudgeonGenerally speaking, most Americans can barely be bothered to vote during important elections -- you know, the ones with years divisible by four! It's even harder getting them off of their Dorito-stained couches to cast...