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Tag: rielle hunter

This is what Ted Cruz looks like when he begs for money.

Is Ted Cruz Adulterous Foreign-Born Whore? Maybe!

People, we may have to issue a correction here. We reported at you this morning that Ted Cruz had, for the first time in his life, growed himself a dick. Of course, we meant that in the sense that...

Rielle Hunter Is ‘Sorry’ She Fell In Love With Your Husband, Ghost Elizabeth Edwards

It has taken seven years and the united hatred of a country that normally couldn't agree on whether the sun is blocked by the rotation of the earth or whether it is eaten by the moon every night. Oh,...

Cheer Up Congress, At Least You Are More Popular Than That Dude Who Knocked Up Rielle Hunter

Waah, everyone hates Congress, just because it is filled with adult babies who have managed to hold 1,237 votes on repealing Obamacare and outlawing abortion, but couldn't manage to find time to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act, because...

Mean Girl Barbara Walters Makes Rielle Hunter Eat Her Terrible Lies

You know what we at Wonkette don't care about? Whether or not you want to read about and/or watch Rielle Hunter. We find everything about her, from the top of her shining golden head to the bottom of her...

John Edwards And Rielle Hunter Broke Up Last Week, Or Possibly In 2008

You guys, extra-sad news! John Edwards and Rielle Hunter, who as far as we knew six days ago were America's number one committed couple, are now totally broken up. Well, they're still a family, because when you...

Rielle Hunter and ‘Johnny’ Edwards Consummate Greatest Love Story Of Our Time

Watch out Liz and Dick, and Romeo and Juliet, and Buttercup and Wesley, and Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun, and Bristol Palin and that creepy Gino guy: Rielle Hunter is here to write the gauzy, Vaseline-lensed story of her...

Rielle Hunter Needed Healer’s Help For ‘Wrong Sauce’ On Reuben Sandwich

It is hard to know who is less popular in Wonkville: lunatic hippie Rielle Hunter, or her tousled-locked boy lover, John Edwards. It is also hard to know who is less popular in the Young household -- the Youngs...

Husband of the Century John Edwards Purchased Human Lady Flesh From ‘Millionaire’ New York Sex Pimp

OH GOOD. Noted humanitarian and best guy ever John Edwards is not only seeking to make another human maybe with perfect soulmate Rielle Edwards. Nope. His name has also come up in conjunction with some sex-trafficking investigation in Manhattan,...

Maybe Baby! National Enquirer: John Edwards Still Putting Penis in, Trying to Impregnate, Rielle Hunter

Primpy shitsack "human" "man" John Edwards, who at one point was actually the progressive choice in the 2008 primaries -- and Christ, we dodged that bullet -- is still putting his penis in the vagina of flakey terrible person...

John Edwards About To Be Indicted, If Obama’s DOJ Will Pull Trigger

Famous 2008 presidential sex-haver John Edwards is probably going to be indicted very soon for violating campaign laws in how he covered it all up, NBC News is reporting. "Son of a mill worker!" Edwards cursed to himself upon...

Mistress To Wed John Edwards, Get Cancer, Justify 2012 Cancer-Pity Run

John Edwards, who was gestated in a millworker cut open by a lightsaber after nine months, has asked his mistress Rielle Hunter to marry him, according to the National Enquirer (again). Now, if John Edwards has any luck, this...

Elizabeth Edwards Is Dying, Hates the Baby (Baby Jesus)

Hey you guys, Elizabeth Edwards, that lady whose husband cheated on her, is now dying. Do you remember when John Edwards announced she was dying of cancer at the beginning of his 2008 campaign, but he was staying in...

Anonymous Sources: John Edwards Sad, Lonely, Gross

Who says investigative journalism is dead? Tina Brown's Internet Tendency has been paying (?) Diane Dimond to nose around the world's most repugnant sleaze pits and report back on her findings! Having already blown the lid off...

Watch Oprah Brutally Interrogate Rielle Hunter On Teevee Today!

Did you TiVo this afternoon's edition of The Oprah Winfrey Program? Well fuck you then. Her guest will be famed sex person Rielle Hunter, who is pretty hilarious. But yeah, still not worth it. Instead, you should enjoy this...

RIELLE HUNTER IS NOW SAD! Jesus, did she think they'd Photoshop some pants onto her? "Hunter reportedly 'cried for two hours' after she saw the pictures she deemed 'repulsive' that accompanied the 10,000 word interview she did with GQ...

John Edwards Wriggles (His Tongue) Around In Rielle Hunter’s HooHa

Are we still writing about Gross-ass John Edwards and his she-witch Rielle Hunter and their sexy pregnant sex tape and the GQ interview and sad/insane cancer lady Elizabeth Edwards and all that? Maybe! Just for today, anyway. HERE YOU...