Wonkette

One of the weirder angles on the John Edwards Sex Scandal is the part where the guy who says he’s Rielle Hunter’s baby daddy, Andrew Young, has to live in the same weird compound (OK FINE A “GATED COMMUNITY”) in North Carolina as Rielle Hunter, and then they all have to move to California, together, with their families, including Mrs. Young and their three children, because they are all in a terrible sex-induced Witness Protection Program. MORE »

SOUTHERN GOTHIC: “Rielle Hunter childhood horse assassination hands election to Obama.” [Gawker]

Jay McInerney used to love dating crazy broads and doing a lot of blow, back in the 80s, when it was considered un-American not to walk around with a cocaine mustache and a persistent case of chlamydia. During these halcyon days, he dated the craziest broad of them all: Lisa Druck, who went on to change her name to “Rielle Hunter” and attain universal revile for her terrible use of fonts in John Edwards’ painfully embarrassing presidential campaign “Webisodes.” Now Jay McInerney’s publisher is reprinting a book he wrote in 1988 called Story of My Life, which is told from the point of view of a Hunter-like character, so now you too can read second-person descriptions of what it is like to have furtive futuristic time-machine sex with John Edwards in his Dirt Palace. Hint: the name he calls out in the throes of passion is his own. [Baltimore Sun]

Oh goody, we are now at the “blame John Edwards for pretty much everything” stage of the Edwards Was A Baby Mamma scandal. Somehow the mortgage meltdown and the brand-new war in Georgia will turn out to be his fault, but we’ll leave it to Sam Stein to uncover those crucial links. In the meantime, former Clinton communications director Howard Wolfson has found something else to blame on John Edwards: the implosion of the Clinton candidacy. MORE »

THE SLEAZEBAG’S LAMENT: “On the local wingnut talk radio station, the loudmouth host and halfwit callers were high-fiving each other for talking about creepy John Edwards cheating on his cancer-stricken wife long before Wolf Blitzer or whoever mentioned it. So we’ve got Edwards’ foul behavior, the Responsible Media’s shameful behavior, and the wingnuts’ shameless behavior. This is not exactly America’s finest moment.” [AOL Political Machine]

So John Edwards has admitted to banging that broad, Rielle. Here is a nice long story about what he will tell one of the Woodruffs on teevee tonight. Since it is Friday, none of your editors wanted to write a real, thorough post about this. So we have held a chat session to discuss John Edwards’ bastard child. It isn’t very readable, but it is long, so you really have no excuse. MORE »

• JOHN EDWARDS SAYS HE SEXED THAT GAL BUT IS NOT HER BABY DADDY: The former presidential candidate said yes, he had an affair with Rielle Hunter but no, he didn’t father her child or pay her hush money. Hmm. [ABC News]

So the whole time this Edwards Love Child scandal has been breaking and breaking, everybody has been asking the same question: where are the photos of John Edwards cowering in a Beverly Hills hotel bathroom and acting seedy all over the place? Well, the National Enquirer has finally delivered the goods, in the form of SPY PHOTOS revealing an Edwards-type figure hoisting aloft a remarkably human-looking child. MORE »

Here’s John Edwards on June 7, 2007, receiving a Father Of The Year award with his cancer wife Elizabeth in attendance. Rielle’s Hunter’s child was born on February 27, 2008, making the gap between these two events 8 months and 20 days. In other words, Rielle Hunter was hiding in this podium and John Edwards was literally impregnating her while talking about Fatherhood. Guys next to him are like, “Why’s John impregnating that gal in the podium?” [YouTube via JammieWearingFool]

Here’s some weird news about the already-weird John Edwards baby-mama alleged scandal: The “love child” in question has no daddy listed on the birth certificate! And we can’t even dismiss this latest tiny bit of scandal as “tabloid trash” because it comes from Edwards’ hometown mainstream media, McClatchy Newspapers’ News & Observer. MORE »

SEX CREEPS: “One day, between now and January, this alleged scandal will have to be addressed — and if John Edwards did nothing more than pay a friendly late night Beverly Hills hotel visit to his former videographer who was impregnated by his married loyalist friend, so be it. He can explain himself and go back to helping the Two Americas or whatever.” [AOL Political Machine]

We’re having trouble getting into this latest iteration of the John Edwards/Rielle Hunter/Love Child story, probably because, um, who gives a shit about this loser or his bastard? For what it’s worth, however, he offered a curt denial today in Houston, where he was talking to a low-income housing aid organization: “That’s tabloid trash… They’re full of lies. I’m here to talk about helping people.” Oh ho ho, so now Mr. Altruism over here thinks that helping poor people is more important than his ubiquitous boner, hmm? [Houston Press]

Uh oh, is Rielle Hunter getting desperate? Don’t worry, Rielle. He’ll have lots of free time soon, and you’ll have the real thing all to yourself. [Craigslist]