rick scott

Drug testing: is there nothing it can’t do? Remember when Florida was gonna drug test all the poors because they were poor and were foolish enough to apply for state aid and then everyone realized that living skeleton Governor Rick Scott was going to make large amounts of coin from the endeavor because his company […]

Next time you see someone like Americans for Prosperity’s Jennifer Stefano shouting about the ridiculously generous benefits for Medicaid under Obamacare, you might want to picture Charlene Dill in your head. Charlene Dill was a 32-year-old woman who had three kids, was separated from her husband, and, with a combination of part-time jobs, was barely […]

Former Florida Governor Charlie Crist would like to get that job back, please, and now that he is no longer a RINO and has gone Full Democrat, he is serious about sounding like it. Which is why he is accusing current Gov. Rick Voldemort of putting the Dark Mark on Florida’s Poors, by not expanding […]

Doug Varrieur genuinely seems like a responsible gun owner. When he learned that the state of Florida permits near-unrestricted gunplay on one’s own property, he was naturally excited to set up some cans and start shooting. But! Before doing this, he made sure to construct a sturdy backstop to prevent the slaughter of innocents. He […]

Florida congresshoover Trey Radel, the “hip-hop conservative” who went and got himself busted for cocaine possession back in November, will resign today, according to pretty much everyone. His letter to Speaker John Boehner says, “is my belief that professionally I cannot fully and effectively serve as a United States Representative to the place I love […]

America’s Time-Travel and Causality Crisis grew worse last week as Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R-Azkaban) blamed the 2008 recession on his predecessor and likely opponent in 2014, former Gov. Charlie Crist, who served from 2007 to 2011: “We never should have had that downturn,” Scott told the Sayfie Review Florida Leaders Summit in Orlando, suggesting […]

Really, there are some days when Yr Wonkette is just tempted to run a headline that says nothing more than “Florida WTF?” but we would then have an awfully hard telling one instance from another, particularly since Florida has more different flavors of WTF than Sarah Palin has varieties of sexy poutface. All of which […]

Nothing can improve your dining experience like having a sick waitstaff, except possibly knowing that the cook who prepared your food is also stricken with the flu. That also will improve your dining experience, because it will expose you to germs and build your resistance to them. Unless it gets you really sick, in which […]

Future generations of scholars and historians* will need look only to six perfect words (or seven if you count the hyphenation) to understand perfectly the first week of November, the year of our lord 2012: “Crack-Smoking Illegal Alien Registered To Vote.” It is a headline made for literature, and poetry. It may even surpass the […]

The oil-drilling technique known as fracking has caused its share of controversy the past few years: Maybe it causes radioactive rivers, maybe it’s marine life to blame. Maybe it causes earthquakes, maybe that’s the Dallas Cowboys special teams squad. It also, though, looks to pretty obviously cause methane contamination leading to flaming tap water, and […]

We at Wonkette are not experts in Constitutional law or contemporary American jurisprudence, but it seems to us that the Amendments are supposed to be of equal importance and subjected to the same standards of inquiry. So we were surprised (but not really that surprised, actually, now that we think about it for a minute) […]

This is not quite a Schimdtgasm… but then again, what is comparable to the funniest video of the year? Here’s Florida AG Pam Bondi, a lead plaintiff behind the health care reform case and, in general, one of America’s worst public officials, first hearing that the individual mandate was struck down. Gov. Bat Boy calls […]

Mitt Romney may be pageview death — and he is, Blanche! He is! — but how could your Wonkette resist such a marvelous little item as this one? Bloomberg News reports that the Romney campaign is telling Florida Gov. Bat Boy to shut the fuck up, if you please sir, about the great strides his […]

Oh look, there they go again! By “they” we mean the Democrats, always crying about voter suppression. Look, is it our fault that their supporters are all vicious thugs, pot smokers, illegal immigrants, white slavers, people whose names end in vowels or “z,” vicious illegal immigrant thugs, and liberals? Only Rick Scott is man enough […]

Perennial top contender for America’s most fervently incompetent governor Rick Scott is working hard for the title even on a trade mission to Spain: He managed to earn immediate ridicule from the country’s 47 million residents within actual seconds of meeting the King of Spain. He’s efficient! King Juan Carlos has lately been in hot […]