rick santorum

While 2013 certainly kept all the womyn busy in the kitchen baking shitmuffins, there were some bright and awesome spots where legislators on the national stage groped around to find long-lost sets of (gender-neutral) testicles and stood up for everything that is right and just in this world. In order to honor those men and […]

Dear Frothy Mixture of Lube and Fecal Matter That Is Sometimes the Byproduct of Anal Sex, You, Rick Santorum, are wonderful. You are like Nelson Mandela. This year alone, you have delighted us with all of your frothy Santorumness. You learned us how if you cannot gaybash at our high school children, it is like […]

Hey, remember that fat white guy who lost weight and now wants to put the ‘white’ back in White House? No, not the one what closes bridges because of petty political bickering — the other GOP white guy, the one who rocks out on gee-tar. Yeah, Mike Huckabee. He is back in the news because […]

You will note that we have not spent a lot of time last night or this morning subjecting you to OUTRAGE!!!1! via hellish racist bullshit about the passing of Nelson Mandela. This is because we are feeling gentle and celebratory about a great man’s life — how many people get to bear witness to an […]

Happy World AIDS Day (a day late, because drunk)!! Have you celebrated? How, exactly, does one celebrate the 25th annual World AIDS Day? We bought our Editrix a 10-pack of female condoms, because safe sexytimes are good sexytimes. The United States, on the other hand, celebrates by spending billions each year around the globe fighting […]

Ohaithere, Rick Santorum! Now that you’ve made a movie about magic candles that help Christians get pregnant, what else is in your quiver? How about the Constitution’s guarantee of the freedom to be free of others imposing their values on you while you are imposing your values on others? Yes, that is a good freedom! […]

It would be inaccurate to call The Christmas Candle a terrible movie, or even an especially bad movie. You can’t really hate it, because that would just take too much effort. Rather, it’s an almost instantly forgettable nothing of preachy sappiness, a completely predictable, by-the-numbers story about Christmas miracles. It’s not enjoyably bad, like the […]

Rick Santorum has given it a lot of thought, and he’s figured out that if the true results of the 2012 Iowa Caucus had been reported right away, he’d have been the guy to win the Not Romney Sweepstakes, get the nomination, and lose to Barack Obama. “Had he lost Iowa, then the air of […]

Buenos dias, Wonketeers. After weeks of pointless grandstanding by modern-day Dr. Suess El Senor Canadiano Ted Cruz, aren’t we all ready for Congress to, you know, do something positive rather than just tank fourth quarter economic output? Hey, how about that comprehensive immigration reform that the Senate was all positive about. Could be a good […]

Ann Coulter wrote a book. It’s her tenth! Congratulations, Ann! We don’t know much about the etiquette of these things, but evidently the tenth is the “fluorescent” anniversary in publishing, since her friends at the Daily Caller invited everyone over to their place this week to celebrate.

Poor Ken Cuccinelli. You’d think, given his stellar record of raging against buttsex and ‘bortions and ObamaNaziKenyanSocialist LiberalZOMGCare and calling on God to get all Old Testament on America because abortion, he’d be coasting to victory in the race to be the next governor of Virginia. And if it weren’t for those damned lady voters, […]

Eight minutes can be a really long time. It’s about the amount of time it takes light from the sun to travel to the earth. Or in more earthly terms, it’s twice as long as Gary’s never-gonna-happen fantasy about Piper Perabo. But if you are an addled, half-brained drooling Tea-jadist, then it is just the […]

Shutdown day 11! Hope you have been getting your Government Shutdown Bonus Card stamped every day, because 12 shutdown days earns you one free voter repression in the swing state of your choice! (Wonkette is going with a minority college kid in North Carolina.) Well, yesterday saw President Obama meeting with top GOP lawmakers at […]

Former Senator, presidential candidate, and Google punchline Rick Santorum thought it might be fun to run a movie studio, and now here is the trailer for the first feature churned out by his Christian production company, EchoLight Studios. It’s The Christmas Candle, a holly-jolly ye-olde family yarn with snowflakes, miracles, Good Simple 19th Century English […]

Why, sure, Washington Post, we’d love to read a political trends think-piece! Whatcha got? Oh, Tea Partiers who were elected in 2010 are starting to see some pushback in their home districts? OK, sure, we’ll read that! Please tell us that people are getting tired of their antics, will you? For instance, maybe you could […]