Tag Archives: rick santorum

  Fun facts about Karen Santorum

Rick Santorum Needs You To Know His Wife Used To Shack Up With An Abortionist

The more you know ...
While most political candidates at least like to pretend that it is Not Cool to attack their opponents’ families, Rick Santorum thinks it is not only Totally Cool but also necessary so voters will know what they’re getting themselves into: Read more on Rick Santorum Needs You To Know His Wife Used To Shack Up With An Abortionist…
  A Piece In Our Time

Iran Nuclear Deal Will Either Usher In New Era Of Peace Or End Of Civilization As We Know It

Thanks to whoever already did this with Ahmedinejad instead of Hitler; we've updated to Rouhani
An agreement to limit Iran’s nuclear development has been reached between Iran and the United States, plus five other nations that were so important to the negotiations that the New York Times named them all in the 33rd paragraph of its story on the deal. While President Barack Obama said the agreement is “not built on trust, it is built on verification,” many representatives of Israel in the U.S. Congress have complained that the deal is terrible and will lead to Iranian domination of the Middle East, the destruction of Israel, and probably gun confiscation and abortions, because everything Obama does will lead to those. The agreement is the result of a framework that Iran and the U.S. agreed to in April. Read more on Iran Nuclear Deal Will Either Usher In New Era Of Peace Or End Of Civilization As We Know It…
  Still Frothy After All These Years

Rick Santorum Takes Victory Lap Now That Supreme Court Allows Man-Dog Marriages

She's happy to be his bitch
Walking Google joke Rick Santorum took a weird victory lap in Colorado last month when the Supreme Court crammed marriage equality down America’s throat, explaining that he had been totally right in 2003 when he predicted that striking down sodomy laws would eventually destroy every family ever and legitimize man on dog relationships. Read more on Rick Santorum Takes Victory Lap Now That Supreme Court Allows Man-Dog Marriages…
  Fire Island Causes Global Warming

Rick Santorum: Know What Really Makes Sea Levels Rise? Gay Marriage.

Also, we should slash NASA's budget and give it to sidewalk anti-abortion counselors
Pathetic self-parody Rick Santorum took to The Fox and The Friends Sunday to explain how to fix the Supreme Court, after it broke America last week, and make America all better again, and the way to do that is for presidents to stop wasting time talking about fake stuff like “Global Warming” and to instead save the American family from turning all gay. Read more on Rick Santorum: Know What Really Makes Sea Levels Rise? Gay Marriage….
  So. Many. Idiots.

How GOP ‘Presidents’ Will Fail To Save America From Buttsex-Based Marriage

The spanking, it stung, YAY!
The Republican candidates for 2016 have spoken, and they are not one bit happy with all this gaiety today. Their reactions ranged from sadly resigned to reality, to promises to fight the decision forever — they will fight the gays in the fields and in the streets, fight them in the hills, but not fight them on the beaches because they might see a guy in a speedo and that would simply be too much — to saying nothing at all because they’re too busy crying, apparently. Read more on How GOP ‘Presidents’ Will Fail To Save America From Buttsex-Based Marriage…
  Give them another five years

Every Single GOP Candidate Has A Cunning Plan To Murder Obamacare On Day One

It's like health care only different
The highest court of unelected activist judges in the whole Us of America declared, for the second time, that Obamacare haters need to hush now and take a nap because that shit is kosher, yo. Which does not mean the Republican Party or any of its “presidential” “candidates” are going to do that. The Affordable Care Act may be the super-duper twice-certified constitutional law of the land, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be repealed and replaced with something even MORE better, dunno what yet, that’s not what matters right now! Read more on Every Single GOP Candidate Has A Cunning Plan To Murder Obamacare On Day One…
  Why Would A Racist Give *Us* Money?

Charleston Killer’s Favorite Racist Gave A Bunch Of Money To Top Republicans, Oops

Just a racist, his gun, his flag, and his spring planting project
By now you’ve probably read about what’s believed to be Dylann Roof’s idiot manifesto, detailing all his insights into The Blacks and The Jews. It’s the usual loathsome pile of racist crap, but he does at least let us know where he got a lot of his ideas: from the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC), the modern version of what used to be the “White Citizens Councils” of the ’50s and ’60s. And here’s a heck of a thing: Earl Holt, the leader of the racist group, has given buttloads of money to Republican candidates in the last few years, not that they agree with him, oh no no no, he’s despicable. But he has a checkbook. Read more on Charleston Killer’s Favorite Racist Gave A Bunch Of Money To Top Republicans, Oops…
  Profiles In Cowardice

GOP Candidates On Confederate Flag Ranked, From Yellow To Romney

Time to put that sucker out
You wouldn’t think calling for the removal of the Confederate flag from the grounds of South Carolina’s state capitol would be a difficult thing to do, especially for those who believe they are bold and brave enough to be this nation’s next president. We’re not in the habit of honoring our enemies by flying their flags or building memorials to their fallen, after all, so it stands to reason that state-sanctioned deference to the traitors who declared war on the United States would be easily recognized as, well, un-American. Read more on GOP Candidates On Confederate Flag Ranked, From Yellow To Romney…
  Maybe it's a post-racial hate crime

Dylann Roof Confesses To Murdering 9 To Start Race War, Real Motive Still Unknown

Confederate flag plates just a coincidence
Perhaps now we can stop looking for some way to explain how a young white man murdering nine people in a black church — after telling his victims he was there to kill black people and “you have to go” — was not really about race: Read more on Dylann Roof Confesses To Murdering 9 To Start Race War, Real Motive Still Unknown…
  fuck off

Rick Santorum Worried Gays Won’t Let America Pray For Charleston Shooting Victims

Can't go wrong with the classics
Rick Santorum joined the chorus of wingnuts commenting Thursday on the senseless murders in Charleston, on the Joe Piscopo radio show, which is apparently a thing. Being Rick Santorum, he started out OK, but then suddenly stepped in a puddle of wingnut shit. Let’s words our way through his comments, to see how it all went so terribly wrong. Read more on Rick Santorum Worried Gays Won’t Let America Pray For Charleston Shooting Victims…
  take the no buttsex pledge today!

Here Are 50,443 Inspiring Americans Who Won’t Let Supreme Court Do Gay Stuff To Their Butts

Poor things.
The time is nigh, when the Supreme Court of the United States of America will likely find that there is a constitutional right to marriage equality, though court watchers don’t predict that they’ll make gay marriage a requirement for all Americans. But you’d think they were about to do that, the way anti-gay Jesus Americans are panicking, by nervously, fearfully pulling out their nipple hairs and issuing proclamations that NO! you cannot force gay marriage right down their throats, they’re gonna spit it out! Read more on Here Are 50,443 Inspiring Americans Who Won’t Let Supreme Court Do Gay Stuff To Their Butts…
  Do You Want to Build A Snow Job?

Sen. Jim Inhofe Tells Pope To Leave Climate Change To Scientists At Big Oil

Using this picture because NEVER FORGET LOL
Sometimes Yr Wonkette thinks it might be “fun” to actually be located in Our Nation’s Capital, rather than in the wilds of Boise, Idaho, if only because it would then be possible to attend fun events like the Heartland Institute’s “climate conference” being held this week in DC, where Sen. James “If Global Warming Is Real Why Is There Snow?” Inhofe told Pope Francis to keep his mind on poping and to leave climate science to idiots on the payroll of Big Oil. Read more on Sen. Jim Inhofe Tells Pope To Leave Climate Change To Scientists At Big Oil…
  She might not even vote for him

Rick Santorum Has One Supporter In Iowa, And Her Name Is Peggy

Can't go wrong with the classics
Poor Rick Santorum. He has been trying so hard to get somebody to care about the fact that he is running for president, but nobody does. And in a race to see which GOP candidate can out-wingnut them all, by hating the gays and the ‘bortions and the Messicans THE MOST, Santorum loses, not because his heart isn’t in the right place, but because he comes across as sad and pathetic. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel! The light’s name is Peggy, and she is Santorum’s one supporter: Read more on Rick Santorum Has One Supporter In Iowa, And Her Name Is Peggy…
  The feud continues

Rick Santorum Says Pope Francis Is Bad At Science, Bad For America

Science experiment.
  Last week we laughed and laughed at Rick Santorum, who really thinks Pope Francis needs to shut right up about climate science, because the pope, despite having studied chemistry, is not a scientist. Why focus on things like that, when there are more important Poping duties out there, like slut-shaming and telling people to stop being gay? But damn godless liberal Pope Francis, he’s putting out an encyclical on climate change, despite Santorum’s advice to the contrary. Read more on Rick Santorum Says Pope Francis Is Bad At Science, Bad For America…
  At least she didn't ask for the hot beef injection

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Give Us All Your Moneys, Psychic Jesus Needs A Butt Injection

Welcome back to the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly compendium of swindlers, frauds, and con artists, all of them here for YOU, dear readers, with the divine guidance to help you through all the traps and pitfalls that El Diablo can throw your way. Side effects may include lightened wallets, overdraft notices, and some nasty junk in that trunk. So tuck in, pull out your credit cards, and get ready for the best that $3.99 a minute can offer! Let’s get started. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: Give Us All Your Moneys, Psychic Jesus Needs A Butt Injection…
  not his exact words

Rick Santorum: Dumb Pope Francis Needs To Shut His Mouth About Climate Change

But what about when there was only one set of footprints? I slipped in some Santorum, said Jesus.
Rick Santorum is a Catholic lawyer who likes long piggyback rides on the beach with Jesus and snuggle time with dead fetuses. Pope Francis is the boss of Catholics, and he also has a masters’ degree in chemistry, from his pre-poping days.* One of these men needs to stay out of trying to say words about climate change, and according to Santorum, it’s Big Dumb Pope. Read more on Rick Santorum: Dumb Pope Francis Needs To Shut His Mouth About Climate Change…