rick santorum

Rick Santorum, we need to talk about your future. We know you’re having fun playing at being a movie producer, and apparently you like that part-time job enough that you mention it during your trips to Iowa. We don’t know how great that studio of yours is doing, since you still seem to be talking […]

With the open enrollment deadline for the Affordable Healthcare Act punching Americans in the face today, former senator and losing presidential contender Rick Santorum just wants to be clear that since only 6 million or so people signed up for the ACA, the program is a complete failure. On Meet the Press, Chuck Todd asked […]

OMG! Did you guys hear that the Internet is being given away? Quick! Download all the dirtiest porn you can, because THE INTERNET IS ABOUT TO GO AWAY FOREVER! YES, GODDAMIT, THIS DOES TOO DESERVE ALL CAPS BECAUSE THE INTERNET WORLD IS COMING TO AN END. At least, that’s what we are hearing. Are you […]

Virginia is now really, truly for lovers. And not just the boring penis-in-vagina kind of lovers, but now you can put your naughty bits in whatever orifice you would like, even in the butt! Per WaPo: More than a decade after the Supreme Court declared such bans unconstitutional, Virginia lawmakers have taken a ban on […]

‘Sup, Laura Ingraham? How’ve you been? Keeping busy? Cool, cool. You’ve been doing what? Being deeply confused and kind of full of racist bullshit about immigrants and Puerto Rico? Well, that’s a thing to pass the time, we guess. What idiot wind blew out of your mouth lately? The context of Ingraham’s statement was a […]

From excessive drinking to being high pretty much all the time to a wardrobe consisting of only pajamas, blogging college sure is a rockin good time. And, it helps you get a job that pays money, which enables you to buy progressively better whiskey, hoping for that one magical day when you can afford the […]

Hold on to your hats, gentlemen, and clutch your pearls, ladies, because House and Senate negotiators have come up with a … wait for it… COMPROMISE! After you pick you jaws up from the floor, we shall dig through all the nooks and crannies of this funding agreement, forged deep in the depths of Mt. […]

While 2013 certainly kept all the womyn busy in the kitchen baking shitmuffins, there were some bright and awesome spots where legislators on the national stage groped around to find long-lost sets of (gender-neutral) testicles and stood up for everything that is right and just in this world. In order to honor those men and […]

Dear Frothy Mixture of Lube and Fecal Matter That Is Sometimes the Byproduct of Anal Sex, You, Rick Santorum, are wonderful. You are like Nelson Mandela. This year alone, you have delighted us with all of your frothy Santorumness. You learned us how if you cannot gaybash at our high school children, it is like […]

Hey, remember that fat white guy who lost weight and now wants to put the ‘white’ back in White House? No, not the one what closes bridges because of petty political bickering — the other GOP white guy, the one who rocks out on gee-tar. Yeah, Mike Huckabee. He is back in the news because […]

You will note that we have not spent a lot of time last night or this morning subjecting you to OUTRAGE!!!1! via hellish racist bullshit about the passing of Nelson Mandela. This is because we are feeling gentle and celebratory about a great man’s life — how many people get to bear witness to an […]

Happy World AIDS Day (a day late, because drunk)!! Have you celebrated? How, exactly, does one celebrate the 25th annual World AIDS Day? We bought our Editrix a 10-pack of female condoms, because safe sexytimes are good sexytimes. The United States, on the other hand, celebrates by spending billions each year around the globe fighting […]

Ohaithere, Rick Santorum! Now that you’ve made a movie about magic candles that help Christians get pregnant, what else is in your quiver? How about the Constitution’s guarantee of the freedom to be free of others imposing their values on you while you are imposing your values on others? Yes, that is a good freedom! […]

It would be inaccurate to call The Christmas Candle a terrible movie, or even an especially bad movie. You can’t really hate it, because that would just take too much effort. Rather, it’s an almost instantly forgettable nothing of preachy sappiness, a completely predictable, by-the-numbers story about Christmas miracles. It’s not enjoyably bad, like the […]

Rick Santorum has given it a lot of thought, and he’s figured out that if the true results of the 2012 Iowa Caucus had been reported right away, he’d have been the guy to win the Not Romney Sweepstakes, get the nomination, and lose to Barack Obama. “Had he lost Iowa, then the air of […]