Tag Archives: rick santorum

  Usually Kaili is mad about a thing but it's MY TURN BITCHEZ

Walmart Withholds Medicine From Lady Who Miscarried, Because She’s Probably A Sinner

Unfortunately, my religious beliefs prevent me from removing them.
Imagine you are a lady, and you are going through the sadness that comes with a miscarriage. This is one of those times in life, we imagine (as we are a dude), that you really don’t want to deal with any bullshit, just a guess? So you go to the doctor, and he gives you a prescription for Misoprostol, which will help your body pass the tissue, instead of having to go through an invasive, unpleasant procedure to extract it. Doc calls your scrip in to the friendly neighborhood Walmart, but the pharmacist refuses to fill it, because Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs. You see, this particular drug can ALSO cause an abortion, which is not a FUCKING PROBLEM if you have already miscarried, now is it? But that is exactly what happened to Brittany Cartrett of Milledgeville, Georgia: Read more on Walmart Withholds Medicine From Lady Who Miscarried, Because She’s Probably A Sinner…
  Jump in the pool -- the santorum's fine!

Frothy Rick Santorum Thinking About Lubing Up For 2016 Republican Primaries!

Santorum now available with SPF 45 protection!
Hurray, Rick Santorum is dipping his toes into the frothy fecal waters of the 2016 Republican clown car! Rand Paul and Ted Cruz are already in there, just splash, splash, splashing around, but Rick Santorum is not 100 percent sure he’s DTF yet, so he’s created a “testing the waters” account, just to see if maybe he might want to lose another Republican primary: Read more on Frothy Rick Santorum Thinking About Lubing Up For 2016 Republican Primaries!…
  Finally somebody is giving him the respect he deserves!

Rick Santorum: Nobody Gets Me Like ISIS Gets Me

Rick Santorum has finally found a media source that hasn’t been hijacked by the gay-loving liberals, one that quotes him accurately and nicely and conveys the true heart of his messages. WorldNetDaily? NO, not that commie rag. It is ISIS! Read more on Rick Santorum: Nobody Gets Me Like ISIS Gets Me…
  Look Who's Frothing Now

Rick Santorum Meets South Carolina Lady Who’s Crazier Than Rick Santorum

Rick Santorum took a few questions from the audience at last weekend’s South Carolina National Security Action Summit, an annual Gathering Of The Wingaloos sponsored by conspiracy theorist, rightwing hack, and Islam-panicked freak Frank Gaffney. So it’s not too surprising that Santorum got this long “question” from a nice lady named “Virginia.” She started by explaining John Boehner’s secret deal with Obama to let illegal aliens into the country, and eventually built to a beautiful crescendo of Pure Weird: Read more on Rick Santorum Meets South Carolina Lady Who’s Crazier Than Rick Santorum…
  Slow clap

Rick Santorum Makes Wonkette To Laugh With Hilarious CPAC Joke!

Did NOT nail it actually
Rick Santorum made a HI-larious funny at CPAC on Friday afternoon, and it was so fresh and edgy and flawlessly delivered, he will definitely get to be president next time for sure. He was observing — because of how stand-up comics are always making observations, right? — that the president is SOOOO unpopular. How unpopular is he, Rick? Read more on Rick Santorum Makes Wonkette To Laugh With Hilarious CPAC Joke!…
  We Have Always Been At War With Erotic Terror

Rick Santorum Hates Americans For Our Erotic Freedoms

All the probable Republican presidential candidates have been visiting the Steve Deace radio wingnut program lately, in order to explain to Real Americans that people’s fundamentalist religious beliefs will ALWAYS stomp on everybody else’s rights, no matter what, because that is how America works. Deace specifically wants to know if these fine fellers — Santorum, Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, all of them — believe that “the sexual revolution trumps the American Revolution,” or if “someone’s erotic liberty trumps your religious liberty.” EROTIC LIBERTY, everyone, GET SOME. Read more on Rick Santorum Hates Americans For Our Erotic Freedoms…
  It's the Derp-Derpiest Time Of The Year

Iowa Freedom Summit To Gather Most Of America’s Rightwing Idiots In One Place

Bachmann kept trying to get the Riddler into Conversion Therapy
Oh, dear lord, Iowa is going to be like a superdense mass of Dumb this weekend, as Rep. Steve King and Citizens United host the “Iowa Freedom Summit” — kind of a Moronic Convergence of rightwing political hacks all coming together to hang out with the man who proclaimed that DREAM Act kids were mostly “drug mules with thighs calves the size of cantaloupes” [how quickly we forget!] and who fretted about the president hosting a “deportable” at the State of the Union. Read more on Iowa Freedom Summit To Gather Most Of America’s Rightwing Idiots In One Place…
  I'm Not Mad Just Very Disappointed

Rick Santorum’s Tears Only Make New Pope And Nancy Pelosi Stronger

One! More! Time!
Can we establish something, dear Wonketteers? Can we all agree that the Pope really gets off on just straight-up trolling old prudes? It was just last week that Francis admitted that fracking is just the worst to the stunned silence of the pro-flaming-tap-water brigade, and it was only a few days ago that Il Papa made the salient point that Catholics don’t need to breed like rabbits because Jesus Christ, people, it is not the Irish famine. Read more on Rick Santorum’s Tears Only Make New Pope And Nancy Pelosi Stronger…
  Here have some news n stuff

Rick Santorum: I’m Not Crazy, THEY’RE The Crazy Ones

Oh, Rick “Don’t Google Me, seriously, stop it, it’s not funny anymore!” Santorum, how we love thee. Santorum has the unique gift of standing out as one of the craziest Bible-humping crazies in a crowded field of serious contender crazies. Like, no matter how far to the right his fellow conservatives go, he goes even farther than that. He will throw up at the thought of John F. Kennedy. He will make his children hug the dead fetus. He will wish his Jew friends a Happy Jesus Christmas Chanukah for Jesus. He will go there and do that and then some. But, hey, when it comes to the presidential race in 2016, he wants you to know, he’s the serious one, unlike those other nuts. Seriously! Read more on Rick Santorum: I’m Not Crazy, THEY’RE The Crazy Ones…
  Education Nice Time!

Obama Proposes Free Community College; Will Terrify Wingnuts With Educated Populace

Bluto studied Photoshop at Estes Kefauver Community College
Now here’s a nice thing if you’re into “education” and “free stuff,” which of course you are, because you’re an over-educated socialist liberal. President Obama is heading to Tennessee today to announce a program that would provide qualified students with two years of free community college, as well as other reforms aimed at making higher education more accessible. Tell us more, New York Times: Read more on Obama Proposes Free Community College; Will Terrify Wingnuts With Educated Populace…
  Will Rape Jokes Ever Get Old?

Mike Huckabee Kicks Off His Maybe-Campaign With Some Prison Rape Jokes, For Jesus

Definitely Not Nuts AT ALL
Since the GOP is so good on the issue of rape, Gov. Mike Huckabee (R-Guitar Hero) decided to make a chapter of his new book dedicated to a rape joke. And some namby-pamby liberals decided to get all butt-hurt over it, because not everyone thinks that rape is the next funniest thing to “concentration camps are a great diet” jokes! Read more on Mike Huckabee Kicks Off His Maybe-Campaign With Some Prison Rape Jokes, For Jesus…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Let’s Relive Corrupt Sen. John Ensign’s Sleazy Sex Scandal, Eww (Video)

Religious right hypocrisy: not a crime. Illegal lobbying? Oh, yeah.
A goodly chunk of the Rachel Maddow Show Thursday was devoted to an exclusive story on the John Ensign sex scandal and its fallout, much of which had been hidden away in Justice Department records. You see, Ensign, Nevada’s “other” Senator until his abrupt resignation in 2011, wasn’t merely a family-values horndog who was sexing a staffer. His lover’s husband, Doug Hampton, was also an Ensign staffer, and once the affair ended in 2009, Ensign tried to make things better by getting Hampton a job as a lobbyist — which violated federal laws. Guess which one of the two ended up getting prosecuted for that? Hint: It was not the disgraced Senator, who now plies his trade as a veterinarian in Las Vegas. Hampton pleaded guilty, and Ensign went back to giving shots to poodles. Read more on Morning Maddow: Let’s Relive Corrupt Sen. John Ensign’s Sleazy Sex Scandal, Eww (Video)…
  Menorah Tea Report

Rick Perry Thinks Jews Did The Boston Tea Party. Merry Passover, The Jews!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, when Bible-humping politicians who can’t wait for baby Jesus to come back and murder all the sinners hope all their Jew friends have a very merry Jewish Christmas. It’s an ancient tradition that dates back at least to 2001, when George Dubya Bush — a big friend of the “Jews” who accept Jesus as their personal savior — thoughtfully observed, “I couldn’t imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah, or the joy of Christmas, or celebrating peace and hope.” Read more on Rick Perry Thinks Jews Did The Boston Tea Party. Merry Passover, The Jews!…
  Here have some news n stuff

Rick Santorum: The Nazis Are Coming For The Christians Again, Just Like The Holocaust

See, America is just like Nazi Germany? See? Do you see?
You might think Christians get all the breaks in this U.S. of America, but you are SO wrong. What with activist judges cramming marriage equality down everyone’s throats, and schoolchildren denied the god-given right to learn the God made the Earth, which is the center of the universe, in a few days, then rested, then wrote the Constitution — well, it’s basically exactly like Nazi Germany, when you think about it. You remember how the Nazis killed all those persecuted Christians, don’t you? Plus a few Jews who were so dumb, they didn’t even think to move. Here, let Rick Santorum explain: Read more on Rick Santorum: The Nazis Are Coming For The Christians Again, Just Like The Holocaust…
  Here have some news n stuff

This Iowa Cop Knows Everyone Who Plays Frisbee Golf Smokes Weed

Not so fast, man
There are a lot of stereotypes about people who engage in the inhaling of recreational marijuana, and let’s face it, they’re mostly all true, aren’t they? (Not that we would know, of course. [Okay, yeah we would totally know.]) Red eyes, slower reflexes, a ravenous hunger for whatever crappy pizza will deliver in the middle of the night, perhaps even an involuntary burst of inspiration to write some poetry about the beauty of the universe, man. But that doesn’t mean cops have a right to trick you into waiving your Fourth Amendment rights, does it? Check out this video of Officer Aaron King of the Ankney Police Department in Iowa, maybe crossing the line just a bit. Maybe. Read more on This Iowa Cop Knows Everyone Who Plays Frisbee Golf Smokes Weed…
  Black-ish

GOP Finds Stock Photos To Be Their New Black Friends

Republicans have a race problem, and continue to do everything they can to make it worse. Most recently they launched the thoroughly mockable #ImARepublican campaign, which turns out to suck even harder than Rick Santorum at Iowa’s annual goat-blowing festival: Read more on GOP Finds Stock Photos To Be Their New Black Friends…
  Two Days At The Values Voter Summit

Values Voters Throw Annual Pity Party, Decide Obama is THE WORST. Again.

The Values Voter Summit happens every fall at the Omni Shoreham Hotel, the premier venue for conservative conventions in Washington, DC. (For those of you keeping score, it goes Omni, Grand Hyatt, Mayflower. We do not attend conventions at sub-Mayflower hotels.) Read more on Values Voters Throw Annual Pity Party, Decide Obama is THE WORST. Again….
  Whine and Jesus Party

It’s A Good Friday For Values Voters To Feel Persecuted Again

nice ride
Outside the Values Voter Summit 2014/Photo by Beth Ethier It’s time for all the wingnuttiest Christianist wingnuts who will never be president to gather once again in D.C. to Biblesplain how President Obama is THE WORST, liberals have killed Jesus (again!), and it’s hard out there in these American United States of Real America for an outraged white dude. Read more on It’s A Good Friday For Values Voters To Feel Persecuted Again…
  He Keeps Saying That Word

Rick Santorum And Bryan Fischer Share Sweaty Fantasies About Banning ‘Secularism’ From Schools

The look of love / is in your eyes / The look your smile can't disguise...
Two of America’s greatest professional Oppressed Christians, the American Patriarchy Association’s Bryan Fischer and Totally Serious Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum, came together Thursdayto bemoan the sorry state of our once great nation, etc. Fischer interviewed Santorum on the AFA’s “Focal Point” internet “radio” show (by telephone, so a critical mass of idiocy was avoided) so Santorum could flog his new movie, a “documentary” about how America is just One Generation Away from a complete end to religious liberty, don’t you know (Yes, we’ll probably watch the thing, maybe when it’s on video). Read more on Rick Santorum And Bryan Fischer Share Sweaty Fantasies About Banning ‘Secularism’ From Schools…
  Federal Judge Tells Gays To Suck It

Louisiana Federal Judge Screws Gays, Lesbians (And Not In The Good Way)

RICK SANTORUM WINS! After years of spewing vitriol from his frothy mouthhole, his lies about how all the gays are just incesting, dog-humping miscreants has finally managed to convince someone! Unfortunately, that someone is a GODDAM FEDERAL JUDGE from Louisiana: Read more on Louisiana Federal Judge Screws Gays, Lesbians (And Not In The Good Way)…
  Serial Loser Says What?

Rick Santorum Has Sexxy Advice For Barack Obama: Stop Being Pathetic About Iraq

On Monday, Rick Santorum dropped by the Family Research Council’s “Washington Watch” radio program, and he shared some of his foreign policy expertise with host and FRC head Tony Perkins. A couple of insights: Iraq is a mess because Barack Obama failed to strong-arm Iraqi President Nouri Al-Maliki into accepting a new status-of-forces agreement. Maliki insisted on sticking to the arrangement that he’d negotiated with George W. Bush, which required a U.S. withdrawal by 2010, but Santorum gives a hint of how he’d be a super diplomatic president who would make the rest of the world respect us. Since the U.S. had more or less put Maliki in office, Obama should have just gone to Maliki and said, “We’ll have a Status of Forces Agreement … or else.” That’s how America does international relations, for heaven’s sake: by bullying our allies into submission, like Jesus advocated. But did Obama make Maliki an offer he couldn’t refuse? No, the dumb weakling. Santorum continued: Read more on Rick Santorum Has Sexxy Advice For Barack Obama: Stop Being Pathetic About Iraq…
 

Rick Santorum’s Hobby Lobby Documentary: America’s Gonna Ban Christianity And Go Nazi (Video)

So now that the Hobby Lobby case has established once and for all the sacred right of employers to crack down on rowdy ladyparts, Rick Santorum’s Echolight Studios wants you all to know that they just happen to have a movie in the works that includes a discussion of Hobby Lobby — what excellent timing! One Generation Away: The Erosion of Religious Liberty is all about how Christianity is under siege and America’s just on the verge of going completely Nazi. And one of the main examples is the Hobby Lobby case, in which brave Christian business owners were brutally oppressed by a government mandate to cover the very birth control that they had already covered until 2012. Now, the whole “religious freedom is endangered” claim doesn’t seem like it’s supported by the fact that Hobby Lobby won the right to tell women to get bent, so we’ll be curious how the movie fits that in. But according to the trailer, the government is coming to cut down all the crosses and wish them into the cornfield. Read more on Rick Santorum’s Hobby Lobby Documentary: America’s Gonna Ban Christianity And Go Nazi (Video)…