Tag Archives: rick sanchez

  penetrating analysis

Rick Sanchez On How Romney Can Win Tonight’s Debate: Explain Jobs More Better

When we last heard from World’s Dumbest Anchorman Rick Sanchez, he had gotten fired from CNN for blowing the lid off of the global Jewish conspiracy and so had nothing better to do than to do some light content aggregation on HuffPo and pay some poor publicist to send out email blasts about it. Since then he has managed to snag a job or at least the password to some blogging software and now his deep thoughts appear on “Fox News Latino,” which is a real website that exists. How can Mitt Romney defeat Obama in tonight’s debate, Rick Sanchez? Easy! Just explain, in simple terms, how Mitt Romney will create jobs, for everybody. Why hasn’t Mitt done this? It’s almost as if it would be very complicated to explain and/or he doesn’t actually know how! Read more on Rick Sanchez On How Romney Can Win Tonight’s Debate: Explain Jobs More Better…
  rick's list

Rick Sanchez Hires Publicist To Promote Rick Sanchez Post On HuffPo

One day you’re bringing home six figures from CNN, the next day you’re unemployed and apologizing to the fucking Jews and trying to figure out how to get paid from Twitter. That is the complete Wikipedia entry for Rick Sanchez, the dumbest anchorman since Ron Burgundy. And now, for reasons we cannot even begin to fathom, Rick has hired a New York publicity firm to send emails to our former morning editor (a Jew) about Sanchez posting something banal on Huffington Post about something Rick saw in a Jewish publication. Read more on Rick Sanchez Hires Publicist To Promote Rick Sanchez Post On HuffPo…
  the scourge of unemployment

Rick Sanchez To Personally Overthrow Egypt Regime, Via Twitter

Did you know Rick Sanchez is currently saving the people of Egypt from dictatorship, with the journalism and the social media? He is! If you are aware of any Egyptians who are in trouble, let Rick know, ok? He will send it out to his wider audience: his kids and his dog. And he has established his very own Internet newspaper for this. Read more on Rick Sanchez To Personally Overthrow Egypt Regime, Via Twitter…
  lord of the flies

Rick Sanchez Still Alive, On Twitter

Rick Sanchez may be unemployed because of some stuff he said about the Jews, but that doesn’t mean he has quit. Sanchez is still active, occasionally doing interviews and sitting by the phone for one of the cable news channels that are run by fewer Jews than CNN to ask him to bring his trademark intellectual take on news-anchoring to their network. Sanchez’s continued existence is chronicled on Twitter, of course, where his username is @RicksBook because he wrote a book. Really. “The one thing I’m promoting, the one thing that I represent now, other than my own stupidity, is the fact that I’ve written this book,” Sanchez said. Actually, @RicksBook seems to be more about that stupidity thing! Let’s have a look. Read more on Rick Sanchez Still Alive, On Twitter…
  he's kosher

Rick Sanchez Releases Statement, Thanks CNN Jew Overlords

Professional idiot Rick Sanchez has finally released a statement about those things he said about the Jews last week on a satellite radio show, and it turns out he is a bit sorry for saying those things that got him fired! “Despite what my tired and mangled words may have implied, they were never intended to suggest any sort of narrow-mindedness and should never have been made,” Sanchez said. Well, yes, nothing Rick Sanchez says is supposed to suggest narrow-mindedness or that he’s anything but a genius journalist, but somehow that doesn’t always seem to work out for him. Read more on Rick Sanchez Releases Statement, Thanks CNN Jew Overlords…
  jews did rick sanchez

CNN Fires Rick Sanchez, But Not For Obvious Reason of Being Dumb

CNN, the once-influential news channel that for the past several years employed a mouth-breathing fool as its main daytime news reader, has finally fired this mouth-breathing fool. Was Rick Sanchez let go because he is an insult to the intelligence of anyone smart enough to operate a teevee remote? No, he was fired for saying idiotic things on a satellite radio channel. The Jews won this round, Sanchez! Guess you’ll have to go back to Cuba. Wait, what? Read more on CNN Fires Rick Sanchez, But Not For Obvious Reason of Being Dumb…
  smart people

Rick Sanchez Finally Reveals World’s Secret: Everything Run By Jews

According to CNN’s Rick Sanchez, Rick Sanchez is not an idiot, he merely came from a working class family. And that’s why Rick Sanchez hates Jon Stewart: Jon Stewart is “bigoted” against him. And Jews like Jon Stewart “run” CNN and “all the other networks,” so Jews aren’t allowed to be a minority. Makes sense! That is a logical thing to say. “Wait a minute, this guy is criticizing me, but doesn’t he realize I’m a minority? You can’t criticize minorities.” Why does Rick Sanchez know he is a smart person? Because he said all these comments about Jon Stewart and the Jews out loud, on a national radio show. Read more on Rick Sanchez Finally Reveals World’s Secret: Everything Run By Jews…
  primary time again!

Liveblogging Florida & Arizona, the Sun Cancer States!

Ha ha, so a couple of your Wonkette contributors were jabbering all day about doing liveblogging, and your editor said okay great but don’t kill yourselves because these “couple of primary/runoff things somewhere” do not exactly leave the nation or even the Wonkette Readership spellbound. And then of course nobody showed up to liveblog at all, because it takes very little to discourage America’s generation of underemployed English graduates. So join us for a few hours of very leisurely liveblogging as results trickle in like fat drops of Ambien-laden urine trickling down John McCain’s slacks. Read more on Liveblogging Florida & Arizona, the Sun Cancer States!…
  sacks

White House Apologizes To Shirley Sherrod (Still Like Cowards)

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs apologized to Shirley Sherrod “on behalf of this entire administration” in his daily briefing, which Sherrod “watched live on CNN.” Gibbs said Vilsack is “trying to reach her” to talk and apologize to her. Sherrod, like a true champ, said the administration has her phone number and knows how to get in touch. As of now, Tom Vilsack is still your Secretary of Agriculture and Shirley Sherrod has no job. Read more on White House Apologizes To Shirley Sherrod (Still Like Cowards)…
  making fox news look smart

CNN Idiot Rick Sanchez Thinks Iceland Is ‘Too Cold’ For Volcanoes

Rick Sanchez is so stupid that other teevee anchor people are embarrassed for him. Here’s CNN’s most comical idiot saying that Iceland is “too cold” for volcanic eruptions, because of course volcanoes depend upon the surface air temperature to heat the lava and ash deep below the Earth’s crust. That’s why “long words” like Hawaii — with just one more syllable than “Iceland” — have so many volcanoes all the time, it’s just so warm! [YouTube] Read more on CNN Idiot Rick Sanchez Thinks Iceland Is ‘Too Cold’ For Volcanoes…
  tuesday fun video

The Gay Iceberg Was Liberal, Anyway

In today’s long-awaited “Tuesday Fun Video,” Mexican CNN anchor Rick Sanchez plays Mexican music over footage of a massive iceberg collapsing into the ocean, near Greenland, just to put on a show for tourists. While you Science-pansies out there may whine, “Wah wah global warming wah wah wah,” just like that, your Wonkette sees an opportunity to flex its God-given capitalistic rights with a “tourist trap:” Watch the Earth DIE, live! [HuffPo] Read more on The Gay Iceberg Was Liberal, Anyway…
  but don't they have nukes aimed at us?

Rick Sanchez Reads New Cuba Policies, To America

Robert Gibbs made a very special announcement today about the communist plantation, Cuba! You can now travel and send gifts and clothes there — if you’re a Cuban-American with family on the island, that is. (Although the liberal New York Times writes that there maybe be more easing on the way, which Obama may announce during his trip this week to Trinidad and Tobago, which is very symbolically near Cuba.) Read more on Rick Sanchez Reads New Cuba Policies, To America…
  bomb the internet

Rick Sanchez, CNN Did Not Give You A Twitter Account For This Nonsense!

Here’s America’s most celebrated Twitterer(?), Rick Sanchez of CNN’s afternoon team, writing a number of ludicrous things. “Knee operation soon,” he announces out of the blue, to the entire Internet. And he wants to have sex with the nurse, but his wife is supposedly with him. He’s just at some hotel having an affair, isn’t he? [Twitter] Read more on Rick Sanchez, CNN Did Not Give You A Twitter Account For This Nonsense!…
  pundit wars

Rick Sanchez Dislikes Joe The Plumber

CNN’s Rick Sanchez and Joe the Wurzelbacher meet again! And this time Sanchez isn’t even talking to him in person, so he can just rant angrily like a blogger! (Fun!) It is most comical when he reads Joe’s war-babble like a third grader. [YouTube] Read more on Rick Sanchez Dislikes Joe The Plumber…
  scandal!

Everyone On Twitter Is Gay

We have received a full 956 tips today about various clowns’ Twitter pages being hacked, including those of Barack Obama and Rick Sanchez, the King of Twitter. Someone thinks this official message from the Fox News about Bill “O Riley” indicates hacking, but what’s the excuse for “Turkey Taco Lettuce Wraps?” The more important question here is why anyone on this planet uses Twitter at all. (Except for Wonkette’s Twitter, which is just great.) [Towleroad] Read more on Everyone On Twitter Is Gay…
  heroes

Blago’s Press Conference Almost As Funny As Rick Sanchez’s Twitter Updates

Here’s CNN’s coverage of the wacky Kipling-inspired Blago press conference, in which the governor of Illinois is on cocaine, lots and lots of cocaine. And for those of you who didn’t understand our constant exclamations about Rick Sanchez’s Twitter in the liveblog, well, pay attention. It is the best possible thing to happen on cable teevee, showing crazy Internet peoples’ comments during actual news events. One of the last ones sums up the hilarity: “sundaycosmetics: Are u taking story ideas fm Twitter?” [YouTube] Read more on Blago’s Press Conference Almost As Funny As Rick Sanchez’s Twitter Updates…
  joe's last day of fame

Rick Sanchez, Joe The Plumber Yell At Each Other For Six Minutes

Here’s jolly CNN anchor Rick Sanchez asking “Fast” Joe the Plumber a buncha questions he’s already been asked several times a day since he became the McCain campaign’s raison d’être. Talkin’ about taxes. Then, around 3:40, Sanchez abruptly lists every example of how Joe the Plumber is a lying fraud and a dick. He also makes fun of Joe for being poor on numerous occasions. Read more on Rick Sanchez, Joe The Plumber Yell At Each Other For Six Minutes…
  no mikey why don't you tell us

Goldfarb: Obama Hangs Out With Millions Of Anti-Semites Whose Names All Rhyme With ‘Beremiah Bight’

McCain spokesman Michael Goldfarb, the ABBA-loving masturbatrix of Dungeons & Dragons, just gets demolished here by CNN’s Rick Sanchez in a profoundly awful two minutes of spokesmanship. Jesus criminy, is there ANY spokesman for this campaign who actually knows how to speak? Tucker Bounds, Nancy Poopenheifer, Jill Hazelbaker, Michael Goldfarb, all ruined & dead. Who next will emerge from the catastrophic School of Conservative Pundits? [YouTube] Read more on Goldfarb: Obama Hangs Out With Millions Of Anti-Semites Whose Names All Rhyme With ‘Beremiah Bight’…
 

Peter Jennings’ Wisdom Will Be Missed

As the much-deserved memorials pour in for ABC anchor Peter Jennings, it is difficult to resist speculating about the future of the network nightly news. Television execs will cast about for how — or even if — they can revitalize the genre. It might involve fog machines or podcasts or Jon Stewart. Jennings was there when the first generation of old men gave way to the network suits’ bright ideas about people wanting to see a hipster read the news: Read more on Peter Jennings’ Wisdom Will Be Missed…