Tag: rick sanchez

Rick Sanchez On How Romney Can Win Tonight’s Debate: Explain Jobs More Better

When we last heard from World's Dumbest Anchorman Rick Sanchez, he had gotten fired from CNN for blowing the lid off of the global Jewish conspiracy and so had nothing better to do than to do some light content...

Rick Sanchez Hires Publicist To Promote Rick Sanchez Post On HuffPo

One day you're bringing home six figures from CNN, the next day you're unemployed and apologizing to the fucking Jews and trying to figure out how to get paid from Twitter. That is the complete Wikipedia entry for Rick...

Rick Sanchez To Personally Overthrow Egypt Regime, Via Twitter

Did you know Rick Sanchez is currently saving the people of Egypt from dictatorship, with the journalism and the social media? He is! If you are aware of any Egyptians who are in trouble, let Rick know, ok? He...

Genius Programmer Rick Sanchez Invents Exciting News Techonology

BREAKING WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE: Rick Sanchez has gotten up from the couch, brushed off the Cheeto dust, and duct-taped his laptop to his teevee. This changes everything.

On This Day, We Also Remember Another Civil Rights Icon: Rick Sanchez’s Son

Good for the both of them. Then Rick Sanchez rolled back onto the pile of Cheeto bags and Franzia boxes on which he had been sleeping.

Rick Sanchez Still Alive, On Twitter

Rick Sanchez may be unemployed because of some stuff he said about the Jews, but that doesn't mean he has quit. Sanchez is still active, occasionally doing interviews and sitting by the phone for one of the cable news...

Rick Sanchez Releases Statement, Thanks CNN Jew Overlords

Professional idiot Rick Sanchez has finally released a statement about those things he said about the Jews last week on a satellite radio show, and it turns out he is a bit sorry for saying those things that got...

CNN Fires Rick Sanchez, But Not For Obvious Reason of Being Dumb

CNN, the once-influential news channel that for the past several years employed a mouth-breathing fool as its main daytime news reader, has finally fired this mouth-breathing fool. Was Rick Sanchez let go because he is an insult to the...

Rick Sanchez Finally Reveals World’s Secret: Everything Run By Jews

According to CNN's Rick Sanchez, Rick Sanchez is not an idiot, he merely came from a working class family. And that's why Rick Sanchez hates Jon Stewart: Jon Stewart is "bigoted" against him. And Jews like Jon Stewart "run"...

Liveblogging Florida & Arizona, the Sun Cancer States!

Ha ha, so a couple of your Wonkette contributors were jabbering all day about doing liveblogging, and your editor said okay great but don't kill yourselves because these "couple of primary/runoff things somewhere" do not exactly leave the nation...

White House Apologizes To Shirley Sherrod (Still Like Cowards)

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs apologized to Shirley Sherrod "on behalf of this entire administration" in his daily briefing, which Sherrod "watched live on CNN." Gibbs said Vilsack is "trying to reach her" to talk and apologize to...

CNN Idiot Rick Sanchez Thinks Iceland Is ‘Too Cold’ For Volcanoes

Rick Sanchez is so stupid that other teevee anchor people are embarrassed for him. Here's CNN's most comical idiot saying that Iceland is "too cold" for volcanic eruptions, because of course volcanoes depend upon the surface air temperature to...

CNN’s Rick Sanchez Is First Cartographer To Accurately Locate Hawaii

After an exhaustive review process, your Wonkette proudly recommends CNN for the best "Hawaii coverage." They know most things about Math.

The Gay Iceberg Was Liberal, Anyway

In today's long-awaited "Tuesday Fun Video," Mexican CNN anchor Rick Sanchez plays Mexican music over footage of a massive iceberg collapsing into the ocean, near Greenland, just to put on a show for tourists. While you Science-pansies out there...

Rick Sanchez Reads New Cuba Policies, To America

Robert Gibbs made a very special announcement today about the communist plantation, Cuba! You can now travel and send gifts and clothes there -- if you're a Cuban-American with family on the island, that is. (Although the liberal New...

Rick Sanchez, CNN Did Not Give You A Twitter Account For This Nonsense!

Here's America's most celebrated Twitterer(?), Rick Sanchez of CNN's afternoon team, writing a number of ludicrous things. "Knee operation soon," he announces out of the blue, to the entire Internet. And he wants to have sex with the nurse,...