rick perry
This is the “highlight” of last night’s debate, some portion where wicked millionaire slobs Rick Perry and Mitt Romney start screaming at each other like a couple of drunk country club housewives after Rick Perry accuses Mittens of being in bed with his illegal Mexican gardener or something, which is Low Class. And then they [...]
OH, is there is another CNN GOP debate 2NITE? It’s a “day,” probably, so YES, there is. The alcoholic beverage makers of America thank you, CNN! Everyone else thinks you are terrible. So, uh, Herman Cain will eat a delicious fried Mexican, Â Newt Gingrich will eat Wolf Blitzer, the fried Mexican will eat Rick Perry, [...]
Where has Rick Perry been hiding? Why does everyone hate him now? Is it for the most obvious reason that he is a weird toad who ritually tortures hair products and most often looks like he is asleep every time he tries to get a few words out in a debate? NO, WORSE: he refuses [...]
Rick Perry told a group of frat boys at Dartmouth after the GOP debate that America gained its independence from the bitchy Queen Elizabeth, thank God, right before the Chinese bombed Pearl Harbor and forced Abraham Lincoln to invade France. Twitter absolutely loves Rick Perry’s revisionist history lesson, because it has learned something for once. [Twitter]
ARE WE ARE AT WAR, ALREADY? Â Here is the JESUS WEEN, watching Herman Cain and Rick Perry preside over the flogging of Jesus-hater Nazi Pope common-sense rapist Mitt Romney while he sobs over the corpse of a spider, who is Michele Bachmann. It is a metaphor for all of American Capitalism. LET US CONTINUE watching [...]
Americans are so bored with the assortment of bargain bin feces-flingers running for the GOP nomination that — several thousand blathering news cycles and millions of dollars in campaign spending later –Â only 28% of people can even identify the existence of best-known Republican candidate-clown Rick Perry, because he is terrible and nobody cares about his [...]
A new Pew Research poll shows that just less than half (46%) of Americans still stare off into space like drugged goats when asked to name even one, just one, awful Republican candidate for President, hooray! Despite the combined record-level 104 hours Americans spend each month at home consuming media/trolling Ebay auctions on the Intarwebs and [...]
All America really wants or prays for at this point is a RICK PERRY SEX SCANDAL to make life worth living again, but here’s some “placeholder” dirt the Washington Post dug up in the meantime: Perry’s family leased a back woods Texas hunting camp for the last couple decades where the Perrys have hosted hawt ritual [...]
It is time to enjoy this fantastic “Rick Perry Rap” performance made by a couple of humans (?) in Austin. And, for once, we really have nothing more to say on the subject.
Rick Perry put on his best mom shirt and sweat all over the stage as he performed in a severe, drooling twang the Tea Party’s most cherished political tradition, the factually false re-telling of historical events. Here he is making up things about the original Boston Tea Party, telling everybody that “there was a time [...]
Lead old fart in the Washington Post’s “Eldercare for columnists” division Richard Cohen proclaimed his manly affection for Texas bozo barbie Rick Perry, not for something inane/worthwhile like “policy reasons,” but because the hot waves of bubbling stool ever-flowing out of the right-wing punditry’s toilet tank these days have a decidedly anti-Perry flavor to them. Ergo, this [...]
Haha, what do gigantic bloodthirsty oil companies love more than gazillions of dollars in tax breaks? Gazillions of dollars in tax breaks that children must pay for, with their lunch money dimes and schoolbooks and sad faces. The Texas Commission on Environmental Quality (which sounds about as real as a Texas Commission on Banning Jesus) [...]
Noted anti-Mexican group “ALIPAC” (which means “No Mexicans” in Spanish) has distributed this video clip proving that haughty Texan country-club waiter Rick Perry will never be the Republican nominee because he just loves giving money to Mexicans too much: They booed him for this! It’s almost like he was a gay soldier or something, the [...]
Dim caricature human Rick Perry is such an obvious sleazeball that the entire country is convinced that somewhere, somehow, there is some gross sex Rick Perry sex scandal waiting like a pile of turd-colored diamonds at the bottom of a cave for some lucky miner willing to “go there” and unearth this disgusting information. Porn [...]
No not another one! Yes, another one! We will do some liveblogging on this, maybe? To give Kirsten Boyd Johnson a break so she can “do something at night” (cry), maybe? Yes! We do hope you’ve picked up the usual giant-sized condoms full of vodka and ice axes, and that you’re ready to join us [...]
