Wonkette

This weekend, two very exciting things happened in Austin, Texas. Pinko communist Democrats held their state convention, and the governor’s mansion burned into a tragic, crispy crust. Could the two events be related? Let’s examine the “evidence” behind one possible explanation for the calamity: a drunken visiting Democrat left a burning bag of human feces on the (Republican) governor’s doorstep, never guessing the historic building was one vast, uninhabited fire hazard in search of a flame. MORE »

Texas Gov. Rick Perry has thrown his massive geopolitical heft behind Rudy Giuliani for the upcoming student council elections. He did so in spite of strong, Jesusy reservations about Giuliani’s eternal penchant for killing babies. He used this metaphor, however, to prove to himself that abortion isn’t the only issue in the campaign: “When I go to buy a pickup truck, if it has one option on it that I’m not fond of, it doesn’t mean I disregard that pickup truck.” Oh, I get it! The Democrats and maybe Ron Paul would disregard that pickup truck and/or leave dead babies stuffed in the engine.

Texas Governor Endorses Rudy [MSNBC]

How’s former New Jersey guv James McGreevey’s insane book publicity tour going? MORE »

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• Cheney makes early morning visit to the hospital after experiencing shortness of breath. [AP]
• Republican Reps. John Boehner (Ohio) and Roy Blunt (MO.) launch aggressive campaigns to succeed Rep. Tom DeLay as majority leader; the race “will highlight the internal divisions among Republicans on a variety of topics, including immigration, at a time when the party’s discipline has been fraying and Mr. Bush has had trouble holding thin legislative majorities together.” [NYT, USAT, WT]
• Democrats are expected to use Judge Samuel Alito’s memos regarding abortion against him. Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.): “The worst thing that could happen with Judge Alito is if he tries to duck the question.” [WP, NYT, USAT, USAT]
• Speaker Hastert (R-Ill.) says congress will soon tighten regulations on lobbying: “Now is the time for action.” [WP, WP, WSJ, LAT]

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Harriet Miers may have contributed to Democratic campaigns, but that’s hardly something to be ashamed of. Some of our best Republicans are former Democrats, Texas Governor Rick Perry, who happened to be Texas state chair Gore’s 1998 presidential campaign when Miers gave it $1000 back in 1988. Perry said he became a Republican “because I learned that the Democratic Party could not be trusted to run the state of Texas, much less the United States.” We can respect someone changing his mind, but in explaining Miers’s flirtation with Democrats, her allies aren’t arguing she changed her mind; they’re saying she didn’t have one. At today’s WH briefing, Scott McClellan explained that everyone in Texas was a Democrat back in the 80s. To which we reply: Good thing they weren’t jumping off bridges! And Miers’s ex, Nathan Hecht, says that “If she did it, it was because the [law] firm made her do it.” Good thing they weren’t laundering money for the mob! MORE »