rick perry

Ever had an old person walk up to you on the street and ask you a completely bizarre question, like, “Why do all the apples send moonbeams into your brain?” No? Well, doesn’t happen to us either. But at a Senate hearing yesterday, David Cohen, undersecretary of treasury for terrorism and financial intelligence, was testifying […]

Texas Gov. Rick Perry has advised the Department of Justice that Texas just can’t afford to comply with burdensome federal laws aimed at preventing prison rape, so the state just isn’t gonna, OK? Also, he’s going to tell other governors to ignore the law, too, because States’ Rights. He wrote to Attorney General Eric Holder […]

Virginia is now really, truly for lovers. And not just the boring penis-in-vagina kind of lovers, but now you can put your naughty bits in whatever orifice you would like, even in the butt! Per WaPo: More than a decade after the Supreme Court declared such bans unconstitutional, Virginia lawmakers have taken a ban on […]

If everything is bigger in Texas, then we can’t wait to attend a big ol’ Texas-sized Gay Wedding. And pretty soon that could happen, per the NYT: A federal judge in Texas struck down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage on Wednesday, ruling that the laws restricting marriage to a man and a woman violated […]

So Ted Nugent. We have discussed him and his real purty mouth. (He called Barack Obama a chimpanzee and subhuman mongrel, which didn’t even crack that day’s purty-things Top 10, probably.) The Texas Attorney General, Greg Abbott, who is running against Wendy Davis for Texas Gub, campaigned with the Nugemonster the other day, and then […]

You guys all getting your Holiday Freak on yet? Dressing up in your leathers? Having your labes snipped? Gettin’ weird and freaky up in it, maybe with a dwarf, and a pizza? Well Rick Perry is, bitchez. Not only does the Texas governor want to top you, he wants the Messiah all up in his […]

Have you been wishing for an unholy trinity of Ron Paul’s abolish the Federal Reserve nuttiness and Rick Perry’s zeal to eliminate cabinet-level departments and, best of all, a threat of “civil uprising” against the government? You are in luck, people, because a couple of retired generals — Army Gen. Paul E. Vallely and Air […]

Well, that half-hearted celebration sure was premature. The 5th Circuit Court of Appeals has rescinded Monday’s federal ruling that had found part of Texas’s terrible abortion law unconstitutional, restoring restrictions that will have the effect of closing most of the state’s clinics. “This unanimous decision is a vindication of the careful deliberation by the Texas […]

A federal judge has ruled one part of Texas’s terrible abortion law unconstitutional and partially blocked another part. The worst provision, which required all doctors performing abortions to have admitting privileges within 30 miles of the clinic and would have effectively closed all but a handful of clinics in the state, was overruled by U.S. […]

Ted Nugent is bringing his political know-how to the contest for Texas Agriculture Commission, accepting the positions of co-chair and treasurer for former state Rep. Sid Miller. Nugent promises to “raise as much hell” as possible on Miller’s behalf, while his direct involvement in day-to-day management of the campaign is expected to consist of posing […]

There’s this guy in Texas called Dave Carney, and he is mean on the Twitter! Why do we care? Because Dave Carney is a top adviser to Texas Attorney General and probable GOP nominee for governor Greg Abbot, and was a top adviser to Rick Perry when he was running for president, and at other […]

Have you been following our super-incisive Syria coverage, including yr official Wonkette policy on Syria, which is ???????. Of course you have, because where else are you going to get this sort of hard-hitting news coverage? Up until now, though, we’ve been missing a critical bit of reportage on Syria, which is that ooga-booga End Times […]

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Oh hell yes. Coyote-shootin’, painkiller-gobblin’, can’t remember three things in a row master debater with the super awesome hair Governor from Texas Rick Perry emerged from his closet today to beg for Obamacare money because of how much he hates Obamacare money. But, hey man, a hundred million dollars is a hundred million dollars and […]

Have you guys heard that new joke making the rounds? It goes like this: what’s got two thumbs and doesn’t realize that racism is over everywhere except on the Democrat plantation, so he keeps stirring up racial resentments by persecuting poor innocent white folks and suggesting he won’t let states restrict individuals’ voting rights as […]