Wonkette

• QUOTE OF THE DAY, MAYBE: “This election is not about issues” — McCain campaign manager and known pondscum, Rick Davis. [Washington Post]

Here’s a lengthy segment from MSNBC today, where lovely anchor/reporter Andrea Mitchell talks on the telephone to McCain campaign manager Rick Davis, the adult retarded child responsible for that hilarious memo yesterday about Obama’s food choices, excercise regimen and overall popularity everywhere. He’s a twit. He tells Andrea that the McCain campaign has always been positive and not Trivial; it is focused on Important Issues like offshore drilling. Andrea’s like, “you’re an idiot, you stupid idiot” and Rick’s like, “no Barry Obama is an idiot.” The best part is when they talk about peanut butter snacks 12 minutes in. Peanut butter snacks… [MSNBC]

OK, so maybe the McCain campaign has done its private polling and thinks this stuff will work, but… couldn’t they try to be slightly more ridiculous? We speak of the memo that idiot campaign manager Rick Davis sent out today: “Only a celebrity of Barack Obama’s magnitude could attract 200,000 fans in Berlin who gathered for the mere opportunity to be in his presence. These are not supporters or even voters, but fans fawning over The One. Only celebrities like Barack Obama go to the gym three times a day, demand ‘MET-RX chocolate roasted-peanut protein bars and bottles of a hard-to-find organic brew — Black Forest Berry Honest Tea’ and worry about the price of arugula.” What is this saying, exactly? MORE »

It has been merely a HALF-YEAR since John McCain locked up the Republican nomination, and his team has somehow found the time to develop an online grassroots strategy between those 20-person town halls in nowhere that it holds every other day. From campaign manager Rick Davis’ email client, he writes, “Through the McCain Nation online headquarters you can create events, upload and invite your contacts, send out invitations, get maps and directions, and much more. You can also search for events in your area and ask hosts to attend.” Oh right! Hasn’t that black guy used something exactly like this for the past year or so, to defeat Clintons? Three months should be plenty of time for WALNUTS! to catch up. [John McCain]

Few things brighten your Wonkette’s day more than a fresh new e-mail from McCain’s figurehead campaign manager, Rick Davis, announcing some lame new fundraising schtick. Today he informed us that the campaign would launch “McCain Aces II,” an exclusive club for rich Fat Cats who donate over $25. It’s a follow up to the original “McCain Aces” group that Davis claims was “popular,” even though that contradicts the basic fact that no one ever fucking knew it existed. MORE »

The John McCain campaign has been sending some very forward e-mails to its supporters recently in a shameless attempt to build equity. Poor guy has to eat Ramen and charcoal until the AmEx bills are paid off, so we’re glad to pass the tin change can around. Still, McCain Campaign Manager Rick Davis realizes that leading e-mails with “The time to donate is NOW!” might be off-putting to the 14 chimpanzees/members of ABBA that still support him. As a result, Davis sent a new e-mail yesterday commemorating October 26, 2007 as the 40th anniversary of the day McCain was shot down in Vietnam. It’s a delightful history tale, and how kind of him to educate us — who knew this McCain dude had such a rough life? And why did those meanie pants bum-faced Vietcong treat him like that? It’s as if Davis is trying to guilt-trip us pussies into donating…. MORE »