In honor of the American god Jesus, who was buried in his Christmas fur suit 6,000 years ago today, let’s remember the furriest year of all. To start off the furry fun, here’s the evil half-muslin ACORN Squirrel raping teevee star Harry Smith! MORE »

Check out that ACORN squirrel illegally registering black Richard Simmons to vote in the swing state of New York. These liberal tracheotomy squirrels, can you even believe them. They should all be thrown in a bathtub of battery acid and Truck Nutz. Such things will be topics at this evening’s debate. Let’s see what the lamers on CNN are saying before the debate. BRING YR PANTS. MORE »

Here’s a nice video from The Hill newspaper that shows fitness creep Richard Simmons annoying Capitol Hill for several hours yesterday. He testifies to a House committee about No Child Left Behind destroying public schools’ physical education programs, and he exercises with Hill staffers outside the building. For Republican Congressmen who could witness this from the Capitol’s bathroom windows, it was a dream come true. In this video, Simmons starts freaking out to Congress at :52, then ratchets it up at 1:15, then “climaxes” at 1:30. It is hilarious. This Hill reporter, Erica whatever, seems nice. [YouTube]

* Heard on the Hill: Richard Simmons was at the Capitol “spreading joy.” … No more stache for Rep. Peter DeFazio — who will keep the flame alive now? … Congressional Record claims John McCain introduced an amendment in the House. Madness! … Barney Frank doesn’t care if the Republicans obstruct the Dems, he just wishes they weren’t so boring about it. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Local boy makes good! [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Donald Rumsfeld still alive, hanging out at the Hoover Institution. John Fund got his digits! “Not for an interview, just to talk.” We did not make that quote up… Joe and Valerie Wilson are gone, forever. [Examiner]
* The Sleuth: Bush hosts coffee date for neocons… Vanessa Williams and Dick Durbin: BFF! [WP]
* Shenanigans: Ted Kennedy had yet another birthday party. Everyone was there! … Happy CPAC weekend! … John Edwards: Lying about his favorite movie? [Politico]