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Watergate criminal and lifelong sleazebag E. Howard Hunt is finally dead, the AP reports. He was 88. MORE »
Are you getting Kerry Fever again? Neither are we. But the official 2004 Fall Guy is gearing up for another brave campaign to keep Republicans in the White House forever, as evidenced by a) Some minor staff re-jiggering in his Washington office, and B) A craptacular interview in Details, the lifestyle magazine for men who just dress gay.
Asked about his habit of being photographed while “windsurfing,” Kerry says, “I challenge anyone who makes fun of windsurfing to come out and do it with me and see how long they last.” First, that is not our idea of a fun date. Second, the issue wasn’t whether windsurfing is a physically demanding leisure activity — it was that it looks like another expensive hobby of the coastal rich, because that’s what it is. Bush’s handlers bought a fake “ranch” for their Yankee Preppie Yalie Cheerleader and next thing you know he’s a “cowboy.” It works, because Americans are simple. Who calls him “cowboy” most? Dumb liberals!
More crap, after the jump.
Everybody knows about Richard Nixon’s bizarre 1968 appearance on the faux-hippie slapstick Laugh In show, but only the elderly and deranged know he also beat Bill Clinton to the “late-night talk-show musical performance” routine by three decades. MORE »
As we continue honoring the birth of Richard Milhouse Nixon, let’s take a look at his liberal credentials.
If you only know “Tricky Dick” for his dictatorial presidency that very nearly ended two centuries of American democracy and first elevated amoral criminals such as Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld to the White House, then you’ll surely be surprised by all the stuff we’ve hidden after the jump.
Relax, everybody! That stench in the nation’s air is just a natural annual response to the anniversary of Richard Milhouse Nixon’s glorious birth.
RMN was unscrewed from his poor mother’s womb on this day in Nineteen Hundred and Thirteen. Join us after the jump for a fascinating look at this horrible little man who would be known as America’s Worst President if not for the grace of George W. Bush.
On this National Day of Celebration (Elvis Presley’s Birthday), let’s remember the most important moment of our greatest president’s administration: when a bloated pop star visited the Oval Office for a half hour.
All the wonderful facts about this most wonderful occasion, after the jump.
Watergate enraged certain people in all the wrong ways, and minor-league Nixon Administration factotums Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney were among the few twisted Tories who thought it was bad that Congress wrestled control of the nation from a paranoid dictatorial police-state Executive Branch. Instead of being jailed forever, these two ended up running Ford’s White House and infiltrating the Reagan and Bush 41 White Houses like a particularly awful anti-constitutional virus. MORE »
According to CNN, Israel-hating ex-president Jimmy Carter and his wife Rosslyn have been entrusted with the physically demanding job of bringing the dead body of pretend president Gerald Ford to Michigan, where it will be put under the snow in a solemn ice-fishing ceremony. MORE »
It’s always been assumed that Nixon selected Ford simply because he was confirmable, and that Ford pardoned Nixon because… well, because he was a nice guy and a bad President. Today, Bob Woodward (writing for a “newspaper”!) reveals that the two were the best of friends for years, which helps explain both those acts a little better. When you’re friends with Nixon, though, you end up looking like a dick every now and then: MORE »
* Ford and Nixon had a hidden, secret love friendship that lasted from the ’40s through Nixon’s death. Ford also invited Carter to speak at his funeral. It’s not surprising that Ford was so friendly: He liked eating nachos, and watching football. [WP, NYT]
* Saddam will be killed basically any minute now. But probably tomorrow. He’s still in American custody, btw. [NYT, AP]
* Senator Tim Johnson turned 60 yesterday! He celebrated by remaining in intensive care following a brain hemorrhage, still not speaking. [WP]
* Everyone pay attention to Minnesota, guys, it’s totally a petri dish for the whole nation or something. [NYT]
* We’ll soon have 20,000 more troops in Iraq to support. [NYT]
NewsMax just shot out a breaking news e-mail bulletin: USS Gerald Ford Needs Your Help! Of course, there is no USS Gerald Ford, which is why it needs your help so bad. MORE »
We’ve long argued that the only non-Chevy Chase-related legacy of Ford’s temp-worker presidency was the evil he unleashed upon the world in the form of Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, a pair of nobody White House factotums who were suddenly elevated to ridiculous levels of power, which they would manage to cling to and abuse for an entire awful generation. MORE »
