Piano Concerto No. 1, by Richard Milhous Nixon
Friday, September 7th, 2007
Here’s your Friday Musical Interlude, by everybody’s favorite president, Richard M. Nixon! This is after he lost to Kennedy (IT WAS RIGGED) and was reduced to making appearances on the Jack Paar show. And we have no idea why the sound turns off at the end of the clip, but it’s probably something to do with National Security.
Here’s your Friday Musical Interlude, by everybody’s favorite president, Richard M. Nixon! This is after he lost to Kennedy (IT WAS RIGGED) and was reduced to making appearances on the Jack Paar show. And we have no idea why the sound turns off at the end of the clip, but it’s probably something to do with National Security.
Did you know that even before the George Michael era, powerful Republican politicians were being arrested for Lewd Sex Crimes in public bathrooms? Did you know that America was briefly threatened by the probability of a Toilet Cruiser becoming a Supreme Court Justice? 
Back in the “good old days” of the early 1970s, America was torn apart by recession, gasoline rationing, race riots, the Vietnam war and segregation — which was still a big issue in places where blacks were especially hated, such as Alabama, where Democrat Governor George Wallace was bravely keeping the Negro children out of White schools despite the Supreme Court’s orders. Wallace was immensely popular with Democrats who hoped to keep their schools white, too. So it was a national tragedy when a libtard nut named Arthur Bremer shot Wallace at a Maryland campaign stop in May 1972. 
Say what you want about Nixon — he’s dead and can’t hurt us anymore, probably — but the guy could at least write a memo! Thanks to the federal government’s seizure of the Nixon Library, a whole bunch of new evidence is finally coming out of the vaults, so we can thrill to the literary stylings of Richard M. 
Fred Thompson was a simple down-home country lawyer back in the early 70s. Then, after he ran Senator Howard Baker’s successful ‘72 reelection campaign, Baker brought Thompson to Washington to serve as deputy counsel for the committee investigating Watergate. Fred proceeded to sabotage the committee’s investigation by leaking as much shit to Nixon’s lawyers as he could get away with. Then he bragged about it in his book! Thompson’s book, I Am Personally Responsible for Overthrowing Richard Nixon Even Though I Loved Him, hasn’t been read by anyone since he wrote it in 1975. The Boston Globe found a copy in the library and learned that Thompson admits to leaking the Senate’s discovery of Nixon’s White House audio taping system days before Thompson asked the famous question about them during a televised hearing. Thompson had no problem asking about the tapes, even though he loved Nixon, because a) it would put him on the TV, and b) he was positive the tapes would exonerate the drug-addled corrupt old bastard, because he’s a fucking imbecile.
Ever since Dick Nixon “opened” China, Americans have been treated to an endless supply of cheap consumer goods that are much more affordable for unemployed people. Here’s the latest list of stuff that costs a little less as it kills you: 
It was 2:30 a.m. on a Saturday — June 17, 1972 — that five burglars were arrested at the Watergate offices of the DNC. Later that day, hippie Carl Bernstein was working on the story — but Republican naval intelligence spook and “rookie reporter” Bob Woodward was quickly assigned to “help.”
Last month, we all laughed at 
WALNUTS! McCain’s campaign is an embarrassing mess — so who better to turn that mess around than a Jew-counting Nixonite? McCain recently brought on Fred Malek to be his national finance co-chair. Mr. Malek has a long, celebrated history in the GOP, from Nixon onwards, and he’s connected, of course, to the Bushes. 
Imagine a White House full of scheming backstabbing power-mad global criminals — you know, but not right now. Earlier, like from 1969 to 1974. That’s when the hilarious duo of Henry Kissinger and his meathead drunken buddy Richard Nixon were president.