The powerful Nixon-Eisenhower Political Dynasty has thrown its crucial support to Barack Obama, in the form of Julie Nixon Eisenhower, daughter of the late great Richard Nixon and great-granddaughter-in-law to the late great “I Like Ike” Eisenhower. Julie contributed the maximum of $2,300 to Hopeful Barry’s campaign. She is a rich elitist, of course. [WOOD TV/AP]

The public been duped again by America’s Prince, Barack Obama. You know how he likes to talk about how John F. Kennedy is secretly his father, because Kennedy bankrolled Barack Obama Sr.’s trip to the United States and personally introduced the young Kenyan economist to lovely Ann Dunham? All lies! MORE »

America has lost its greatest leader, Earl Butz. The racist Nixon-Ford Administration agriculture secretary always kept the white protestant Republicans laughing with his poetic comedy stylings. For example, back in 1974 he made fun of Pope Paul VI’s support of population control with a wacky fake-Italian accent: “He no playa the game, he no maka the rules.” But it was his whimsical, outrageously vulgar and racist view of America’s African-Americans that truly made his mark on the world. MORE »

With the campaign taking a more combative tone and attacks on the rise, Barack Obama might want to start listening to some of his more aggressive political operatives. Or, you know, just take some advice from the Bush White House! Turns out Karl Rove is now giving tips to Obama, saying that he has regained “buzz,” but he’s doomed if he doesn’t take Iowa. “Not that you have asked for advice, but here it is anyway: Iowa is your chance to best her. If you do not do it there, odds are you never will anywhere.”

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You almost feel sorry for Rudy when he’s trying to explain his less-than-palatable libtard history to the Republican base. And then you remember that he’s Dick Cheney on a higher dosage of vengeance pills. And while he can’t shake away questions about his support for the rampant annihilation of fetuses or his nurturing of the taco taco Mexicans in NYC, the explanation he offers for his McGovern vote in ‘72 should keep the naysayers at bay: I voted for McGovern, but I wanted to vote for Nixon. MORE »

Recently unearthed Nixon White House tapes (always words we are thrilled to read) reveal that Dick could occasionally be sorta lucid and spot-on, while still spouting obscenities and insults in that classic Nixon style. Back in the dark days of Watergate, a young Republican prosecutor named Fred Thompson (whose exciting first debate is being liveblogged below as we speak!) was appointed by the Senate to join Democratic prosecutor Sam Dash in investigating Nixon’s various and sundry crimes. Dick was not particularly happy to hear this. MORE »

It’s a hallowed Autumn tradition to take the kids to the Corn Maze, but there’s extra fun in store for youngsters at Richland, Michigan’s Gulf Meadows Farms this year, because they’ve based their 2007 Corn Maze design on Gerald Ford’s head. Jerry Ford, of course, was our greatest president and he pardoned Nixon and covered up JFK’s assassination and almost got himself assassinated, twice in 17 days, in California, and bravely fought inflation and was from Michigan.

Gulf Meadows Farms Corn Maze

Willard “Mitt” Romney’s hideous industrial park headquarters in Boston’s North End were broken into late last night, according to the Globe. Several computers and a television were reportedly stolen in what Romney’s campaign calls “a routine burglary.” And you know what that means: this is a conspiracy that goes to the very highest reaches of the US government. Of course, unless the Globe has a crack CIA plant “metro reporter” with conveniently high-level sources feeding him the details as part of an inter-agency bureaucratic war, we may never know what really went down at the Romneygate. MORE »

Roger Stone — former CREEP dirty trickster, occasional Fox contributor, Al Gore fan — is trying to avoid blame for having called and abused Eliot Spitzer’s dad. He was forced to abandon his original alibi after it turned out there were no performances of Frost/Nixon that night. So, instead, he claims he was in Venice Beach, CA getting a tattoo of Richard Nixon’s face. Look, you can kind of see it in the mirror there. But don’t look too close! Your eyes will melt!

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Here’s your Friday Musical Interlude, by everybody’s favorite president, Richard M. Nixon! This is after he lost to Kennedy (IT WAS RIGGED) and was reduced to making appearances on the Jack Paar show. And we have no idea why the sound turns off at the end of the clip, but it’s probably something to do with National Security.

Richard Nixon plays his Piano Concerto #1 [YouTube]

Did you know that even before the George Michael era, powerful Republican politicians were being arrested for Lewd Sex Crimes in public bathrooms? Did you know that America was briefly threatened by the probability of a Toilet Cruiser becoming a Supreme Court Justice? MORE »