Why Is Pat Buchanan So Angry These Days, Anyway?
Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
Tonight we have the 750th and 751st primaries in the 2008 Democratic nominating contest, in Kentucky and Oregon. This means we’ll probably be watching MSNBC for a good portion of the night because (a) Chris Matthews is such a stitch and (b) Chuck Todd, he so dreamy! Hillary will likely be declared the winner of Kentucky as soon as polls close, we’ll get an earful of mindless chatter about Obama’s continuing problems courting Bitters, Chuck Todd and Rachel Maddow and Eugene Robinson will note that Obama’s likely victory in Oregon will neutralize Hillary’s Kentucky delegate pickups, Tim Russert will declare that we have just reached some historical turning point in Math, Matthews will pull down his pants, Nora O’Donnell will be shown from the front only because she is pregnant, Dan Abrams will appear at 1 a.m. with no tie on, the end. Most importantly, Pat Buchanan will spasm uncontrollably all night long — he’s been doing it more and more recently — over Obama’s fatal flaws. Why, exactly, has Pat been even more of a nut recently on the teevee? It’s simple enough: Barack Obama is threatening to undo his life’s work. MORE »
Tonight we have the 750th and 751st primaries in the 2008 Democratic nominating contest, in Kentucky and Oregon. This means we’ll probably be watching MSNBC for a good portion of the night because (a) Chris Matthews is such a stitch and (b) Chuck Todd, he so dreamy! Hillary will likely be declared the winner of Kentucky as soon as polls close, we’ll get an earful of mindless chatter about Obama’s continuing problems courting Bitters, Chuck Todd and Rachel Maddow and Eugene Robinson will note that Obama’s likely victory in Oregon will neutralize Hillary’s Kentucky delegate pickups, Tim Russert will declare that we have just reached some historical turning point in Math, Matthews will pull down his pants, Nora O’Donnell will be shown from the front only because she is pregnant, Dan Abrams will appear at 1 a.m. with no tie on, the end. Most importantly, Pat Buchanan will spasm uncontrollably all night long — he’s been doing it more and more recently — over Obama’s fatal flaws. Why, exactly, has Pat been even more of a nut recently on the teevee? It’s simple enough: Barack Obama is threatening to undo his life’s work. MORE »
A new CNN poll finds President George W. Bush Jr.’s disapproval rating at 71%. Three cheers and a free bag of Cheetos for our best hated overlord! To put that in perspective: President Nixon’s disapproval rating was 67% just before he resigned in 1974; Harry S. Truman’s was 66% in January, 1952, after he started a new war and let black and white people fight together in it! Can you imagine? [
The powerful Nixon-Eisenhower Political Dynasty has thrown its crucial support to Barack Obama, in the form of Julie Nixon Eisenhower, daughter of the late great Richard Nixon and great-granddaughter-in-law to the late great “I Like Ike” Eisenhower. Julie contributed the maximum of $2,300 to Hopeful Barry’s campaign. She is a rich elitist, of course. [
The public been duped again by America’s Prince, Barack Obama. You know how he likes to talk about how John F. Kennedy is secretly his father, because Kennedy bankrolled Barack Obama Sr.’s trip to the United States and personally introduced the young Kenyan economist to lovely Ann Dunham? All lies! 
America has lost its greatest leader, Earl Butz. The racist Nixon-Ford Administration agriculture secretary always kept the white protestant Republicans laughing with his poetic comedy stylings. For example, back in 1974 he made fun of Pope Paul VI’s support of population control with a wacky fake-Italian accent: “He no playa the game, he no maka the rules.” But it was his whimsical, outrageously vulgar and racist view of America’s African-Americans that truly made his mark on the world. 
With the campaign taking a more combative tone and attacks on the rise, Barack Obama might want to start listening to some of his more aggressive political operatives. Or, you know, just take some advice from the Bush White House! Turns out Karl Rove is now giving tips to Obama, saying that he has regained “buzz,” but he’s doomed if he doesn’t take Iowa. “Not that you have asked for advice, but here it is anyway: Iowa is your chance to best her. If you do not do it there, odds are you never will anywhere.”
You almost feel sorry for Rudy when he’s trying to explain his less-than-palatable libtard history to the Republican base. And then you remember that he’s Dick Cheney on a higher dosage of vengeance pills. And while he can’t shake away questions about his support for the rampant annihilation of fetuses or his nurturing of the taco taco Mexicans in NYC, the explanation he offers for his McGovern vote in ‘72 should keep the naysayers at bay: I voted for McGovern, but I wanted to vote for Nixon. 
Recently unearthed Nixon White House tapes (always words we are thrilled to read) reveal that Dick could occasionally be sorta lucid and spot-on, while still spouting obscenities and insults in that classic Nixon style. Back in the dark days of Watergate, a young Republican prosecutor named Fred Thompson (whose exciting first debate is being 
Willard “Mitt” Romney’s hideous industrial park headquarters in Boston’s North End were broken into late last night, according to 
Roger Stone — former CREEP dirty trickster, occasional Fox contributor, 
Did you know that even before the George Michael era, powerful Republican politicians were being arrested for Lewd Sex Crimes in public bathrooms? Did you know that America was briefly threatened by the probability of a Toilet Cruiser becoming a Supreme Court Justice? 
Back in the “good old days” of the early 1970s, America was torn apart by recession, gasoline rationing, race riots, the Vietnam war and segregation — which was still a big issue in places where blacks were especially hated, such as Alabama, where Democrat Governor George Wallace was bravely keeping the Negro children out of White schools despite the Supreme Court’s orders. Wallace was immensely popular with Democrats who hoped to keep their schools white, too. So it was a national tragedy when a libtard nut named Arthur Bremer shot Wallace at a Maryland campaign stop in May 1972. 