Tag Archives: richard mourdock

  Unskew Kentucky!

Hey, Look At This Extra Money Democrats Found Laying Around For Alison Lundergan Grimes

Yee haw we think maybe?
So there is an election? In, like, two weeks? And it’s sort of important — because ALL elections are important, duh — but there is a very good chance that this election will give Republicans control of the Senate so they can finally finally impeach President Obama, repeal the Affordable Care Act, and require every schoolchild who is not being homeschooled by soon-to-be-retired Rep. Michele Bachmann to sing “Jesus Loves Me” every morning before reading the Bible for biology class. Read more on Hey, Look At This Extra Money Democrats Found Laying Around For Alison Lundergan Grimes…
  who's the job creator now jerks

A Children’s Treasury Of Job Applications For Defeated GOP Wingnuts

Oh, yeah, sure, say Obama “saved the economy” or whatever, and maybe unemployment is “on the way down,” by and large, if you’re into numbers or blah blah blah, but listen up, little Cleverpants you, because there are people who lost their jobs not two days ago. They are Republicans, booted out the door by an electorate that for some reason has a problem with politicians being completely off their gourds. They were not nice fellows (and yes, they are all fellows), and they had policies that were… not so great. And now they are unemployed, and sad. But this is America, where we encourage people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps! Take personal responsibility for themselves, and not be 47-percenters! We don’t have to worry about Unemployed Mitt Romney, as he can just crawl under his quilt of unreleased tax returns and whistle the days away, collecting dollars, but other Republicans may fall on hard times when their government paychecks don’t show up. We’ve found some jobs for them, to help them out of the slavery of government dependency. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Job Applications For Defeated GOP Wingnuts…
  he's sorry if any of you crazy bitches took offense

On Behalf Of Fellow Women Everywhere, John McCain Accepts Richard Mourdock’s Rapebortion ‘Apology’

Richard Mourdock has “apologized” (no he hasn’t) for saying rape is Jesus’s special way of giving you something productive to do for the next 18 years instead of whoring around on Saturday nights like common trollops, and on behalf of us all, John McCain has graciously accepted his “apology”! So it’s cool you guys, John McCain says it’s cool. Ladies, put down your bras and pitchforks and go back to crowing over the corpse of your mortal enemy CNN. But is there anything … odd … about this “apology” and McCain’s acceptance of it on behalf of us all? Well why on earth would you think that? Read more on On Behalf Of Fellow Women Everywhere, John McCain Accepts Richard Mourdock’s Rapebortion ‘Apology’…
  in jesus's name we slay

Oregon Man Protesting To Save God’s Precious Rape-Babies Stabs Other Man Seven Times

Well this does not seem so loving and joyful and Christ-like, but hey, what do we know. An Oregon man who is not Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin, or Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, and who’s been protesting for months outside a Planned Parenthood that doesn’t even offer abortion services got into a small bit of a brouhaha when a young lady kicked his stupid sign, and then he pushed her to the ground, and then she came back with her dad, and her dad punched the dude in the face a bunch of times, and then the first dude stabbed the dad a lot. Read more on Oregon Man Protesting To Save God’s Precious Rape-Babies Stabs Other Man Seven Times…
  people who supposedly want to be senator

GOP Candidate Richard Mourdock: Why Can’t Dames Understand That Rape-Babies Are God’s Precious Gift?

Hey, you know what’s tricky? Putting together a coherent philosophical system that reconciles belief in an omnipotent but also loving God with indisputable evidence that bad things happen to good people. And it can be frustrating when you’re running for Senate and someone at a debate tries to trip you up with a “gotcha” question that forces you into philosophical weeds that have baffled great thinkers for millennia. You know what’s even trickier and more frustrating, though? Getting raped and then getting pregnant as a result of getting raped! You know what’s not tricky at all? The decision of, “Hmm, will saying that your rape-baby is a part of God’s plan be good for my election campaign, or bad for it?” The correct answer is: bad. Do not imply this to people who might want to vote for you. Oh, wait, you already did it, Richard Mourdock? Oh, dear, that might not work out so well for you! Read more on GOP Candidate Richard Mourdock: Why Can’t Dames Understand That Rape-Babies Are God’s Precious Gift?…
  choose your own derp

Richard Mourdock Thanks Court For Striking Down Obamacare, Slams Court For Upholding It, Etc.

Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, that guy who ended Dick Lugar’s liberal nuke-hating, being-polite-to-Obama political career, is now also “that guy” whose staff accidentally posted all of his response YouTubes to an important event from the future. In this case, the Supreme Court health care decision. They show us how Republicans will respond to any and all decisions, and dare we say that the messages are fairly predictable! If the Court strikes it down, then it’s “Obama’s gonna try to pass it again, stop him”; If the Court upholds it, then it’s “stupid Court, we’ll show you what’s what when we repeal this whole thing in January”; if the Court kicks a decision down the road, then it’s “stupid Court, we’ll show you what’s what when we repeal this whole thing in January.” There’s also one for a “split decision,” by which he seems to mean only certain parts are overturned. Oh crystal ball, which one of the Richard Mourdock YouTubes will prove to be the one, true Richard Mourdock YouTube, and which ones will be thrown in the trash like all those “Patriots beat Giants” souvenirs are the day after each Super Bowl? Read more on Richard Mourdock Thanks Court For Striking Down Obamacare, Slams Court For Upholding It, Etc….
  is she right ladies???????

Ousted Senator Lugar Says Something True, WaPo Needs Its Fainting Couch

Richard Lugar, he of the many-termèd Indiana senate run, lost to fop Richard Mourdock in the state’s Republican primary Tuesday night, because Lugar is AULDE and believes in a passé political system similar to the one that John McCain believed in before he became a born-again baby. In his concession speech, Lugar very clearly outlined the insanity of the present-day Republican party and the “headwinds” he faced as a bipartisan-loving old softy running against the passed wind of the Tea Party. Well, that upset some people, because it was so rude. Melinda Henneberger of preeminent feminist blog SHE [UNDERSCORED WITH LIPSTICK] THE PEOPLE is one such (she)rson, and as part of a new, promising tactic at the Washington Post, Henneberger both cut and pasted bits of Lugar’s speech AND took on the voice of Lugar for her “news” “article” this morning and it’s probably going to get at least four pageviews discounting her own endless “open page in new tab” efforts. In her biggest play of the post, Henneberger says the Lugar campaign staff really should have “seen to it” that Lugar’s concession speech “was eaten by a computer virus.” OOOOOOOOOOOOOH. Read more on Ousted Senator Lugar Says Something True, WaPo Needs Its Fainting Couch…
  battle of the bulge

Lugar Loses ‘Battle of Two Dicks’ Indiana Primary

Here is the ghostly ballroom where Dick Lugar’s six-term Senate career is doing a sad, invisible waltz of doom. NBC is calling the Indiana GOP Senate primary for teabagger Dick Mourdock, thereby “putting the seat in play for Democrats in the fall,” because Mourdock is some sort of terrible nut who has promised to leave little puddles of his urine for seniors to slip on wherever they are waiting in line for their Medicare pill bottles. Read more on Lugar Loses ‘Battle of Two Dicks’ Indiana Primary…
  american pastimes

Hoosiers To Beat Up Old Man

After 36 years in the Senate, Indiana’s Dick Lugar will likely see his political career end tonight for the simple reason that he’s talked to President Obama in good faith a couple of times over the past several years. That’s really it! Bob Bennett’s primary loss in 2010 was pretty bad, too, but at least they could point to the fact that he co-authored a health care bill with an individual mandate. (As have most Republicans at some point, so nevermind.) Dick Lugar, though? Here’s a plain conservative white-haired feller who’s put in several decades getting Indianans whatever they want — and, since Republicans will probably win the Senate, is now in line to get them infinitely more with his seniority — but, regrettably, hasn’t punched enough Mexicans in the face over the last six years or called Obama a Farty Hitler yet. Oh, and he has a house in Washington, where he works! Destroy him! Read more on Hoosiers To Beat Up Old Man…