North Carolinians, did you know your only national senator besides godless Kay Hagan is some guy who wanted his wife to withdraw his family’s entire savings from his local bank one ATM transaction at a time? If everyone had done this back in September, maybe we really could have had a good old-fashioned Depressiony bank run like in olden times. MORE »

• Names & Faces: Is Lloyd Grove through at the New York Daily News? [WP]
• Under the Dome: Hillary roasts Rahm Emanuel: “Republicans may have the Hammer, but we have the Nutcracker! He has calves like Baryshnikov and a mouth like Cheney.”. . . Elizabeth Dole, Richard Burr, Bob Novak, Jerry Falwell, Orrin Hatch attend tribute to Jesse Helms. [The Hill]
• Inside the Beltway: Congressional staffers enjoy hemp feast. [WT]
• Cindy Adams: Donna Brazile: “I’m an African-American whose life has been a victory. But then came Katrina. . . Right now we need a president who will help. He’s helping. I’m so grateful. Poverty and misery is humbling. I’m humbled to the core that this administration is helping the poorest of the poor. . . I applaud this president for stepping up.” [NYP]
• Rush & Molloy: Bette Midler booed at Madison Square Garden Katrina fundraiser for joking, “George Bush likes my music. He came to see me in the ’70s. A coke dealer of mine got him some tickets.” [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: 9/11 activist mothers call for tough investigation into Katrina response. Kristen Breitweiser: “This time, there’s got to be accountability. If you’re an elected official, you should be inviting accountability for yourself.” [NYDN]