Tag: rich people

Trump Unveils Great Childcare Plan For People Who Can Already Afford Childcare

Because the government should pay for that silver spoon in their kid's mouth.
freedom is deader than this lawn

Rich A-Holes Guzzling California’s Last Drops Of Water Because ‘We’re Not All Equal’

You may have heard that California is all out of water. Again. This is a thing that happens frequently -- not because of abortion, or pagans, or Obama's policies on Israel -- but because the state is mostly a desert...

Kansas GOP Spends Four Days Failing Extra Hard, Takes Well-Earned Four Day Weekend

As the people of Kansas head into the long weekend, they should take a moment to give thanks that their elected representatives are so dedicated to serving their needs. The state's fiscal year is winding down and legislators are...
Sure why not?

Everyone’s Doing It In The Butt Now

At Salon, sex doctor Debby Herbenick writes about how buttsex is the new black. We don't know if we believe it (not that there's anything wrong with that!), but if it's on the internet, it must be true, we...

Adam Carolla, Who Hosts A Podcast For A Living, Thinks Poor People Are Lazy

Can you imagine being The Daily Caller (or any other conservative media outlet that is trying to be cool), and your biggest celebrity "get" is an extended interview with fading bully/outdated hair product connoisseur Adam Carolla? You'd milk that...

Rich Lady Calls Cops On Statue Of ‘Homeless Jesus’ For Some Reason That Will Definitely Make Sense

Let's be honest. There is a lot of bad public art, like the terrifyingly large Marilyn Monroe statue or the rictus death smile Henry Winkler one, but sometimes public art is cool and provocative but then when it is...

Hey Ladies! Scary Old Rupert Murdoch Is About To Be Single Again

The terms of News Corp's CEO, chairman, and destroyer of all things good in media Rupert Murdoch's divorce from his pie-jacking, badass, third wife Wendi Deng Murdoch are set to be finalized in front of a New York judge...

Ross Douthat Is Sure You Sinners Can Just Go To Europe Or A Blue State For Your Abortions

As you've watched the Texas Handmaids' Tale- style abortion restrictions go into effect, we bet you've been wishin' and hopin' and prayin' that Ross Douthat, the baby-faced sad-90s-beard-rocking culture scold would share his derp thoughts with you on the...

Rich People Do Not Give To Charity, Shocker

We will begin this post by asking you a variation of the thing we always ask you, which is: "does it surprise you that a disproportionate amount of rich people are dicks?" And of course it doesn't, we're used to...

Communists At The Atlantic Blame America First

One of us! One of us! We never thought we'd see the day, but the Atlantic, fresh off a story kind of blaming workers for killing a company already in bankruptcy, has published a piece decrying the unfair distribution of...

Ann Romney Still Horrible

Ann Romney, who campaign officials claim is the kinder, warmer, more approachable half of the nation's premier battery-powered couple, recently revealed to Good Housekeeping magazine that the issue "closest to her heart" is "bringing real change to our educational...

Civil Rights: Warlord Condi Rice & Some Plutocrat Finance Lady Allowed To Join Fancy Golf Club

Ahh, so now we know why lying war monster Condolleezza Rice was going around giving wingnut speeches about socialism and such-like. It wasn't about getting on the presidential ticket -- who even wants that? -- it was about becoming...

Millionaire Former New York Times Typist Pool Manager Bill Keller Calls On Olds To ‘Sacrifice’

Oh GOOD, Bill Keller, a millionaire who used to manage the typists at the New York Times, is here to fix the deficit for us by summarizing a report by the Third Way that itself is based on Congressional...

Arizona Sen. Jon Kyl: America Has No Class

Why is our socialist Kenyan Marxist Muslim president being so NEGATIVE, hmm? The richest 1% of Americans are doing great! Corporate profits are at an all time high! It should be champagne and caviar for EVERYONE but NO, Obama is...

Bummed About Your 15 Percent Tax Rate, Job Creators? Have You Considered Paying ‘Zero’ Instead?

It is with a heavy heart that we inform you that we have not significantly appeased our lords and masters the job creators and so they have taken to laundering their money, investing their money speech in offshore tax...