Wonkette

Morons on the Dancefloor

The Late Night Shots kids held their Christmas party at The Guards in Georgetown last night. Wonkette was… well, not there, no. We’ll do almost anything for the amusement of our readers, but when we drink with douchebags for the sake of material we like them to be douchebags you guys have heard of.

Thankfully, a Wonkette Operative was there, and she/he even took some pictures. Our op speaks, after the jump.

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After a brief hiatus (because nothing could ever beat this), Intern Lauren is back in the game. The forums of closed social-networking site Late Night Shots were full of earnest pleas for help this weekend, and wise, well-considered advice was to be found all over, if you knew where to look. Come with us on a journey of self-discovery. No turbos this week, just love.

Weight loss tips, condoms of yesteryear and women’s lib, after the jump.

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How’s being back in the office? Shitty, huh? Did you have a nice Thanksgiving? Did you hook up with your cousin? Was it good? Since you’ve been gone, there has been a major infiltration of turbos on Late Night Shots. Our golden boys and girls are handling it, well, with humor:

RE: Saturday at K St
Posted By: Jake LaMotta on 11-27-2006 10:41 am Report as shockingly offensive

anybody know how to make 15 pounds of fat attractive?

…put a nipple on it.

Follow Intern Lauren into the world of racism, incest, ski bunnies and gourmet nuts (they really do make the perfect gift) after the jump.

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* Iraq yesterday saw “the single deadliest assault on Iraqi civilians since the start of the U.S.-led invasion in March 2003.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
* President Bush calls 10 US service members to wish them “Happy Thanksgiving.” [WP]
* Democrats will have a hard time delivering on their promise to lower Medicare costs, as the program is already so efficient and great. [NYT, WSJ]
* In the face of serious risk, government whistle blowers blow on. [USAT]
* The Iraqinamization has begun. [LAT]
* Not that it will give them the slightest pause, but parents who buy designer luxury goods for their “tweens” will face higher taxes this year. [USA Today, LAT]

Now that the midterm elections are behind us, Wonkette can get back to our true purpose: obsessive analysis of the Bush Twins’ drinking habits. Today, IvyGate directs us to a couple photos of Barbara tailgating at Saturday’s Yale-Princeton game. With a red cup always in hand — and, more importantly (and highlighted at right), an additional beer in her back pocket — Jenna demonstrates, as IvyGate puts it, “true Bush-caliber commitment to drinking.” MORE »

* Don’t fret, we wouldn’t let an idle summer week pass without a shallow poll. Thus, we proudly present: The Hill Intern Hotties competition. Since everyone already knows how this works, we’ll just let you speed along - boys’ poll here and girls’ poll here. In case you’re one of those “readers,” we’ve also got written testimonials for all the pretty girls and all the strong men. MORE »

A few months back, we introduced you to Pierce Mallon Bush, nephew of the President, son of mild fuckup Neil, brother to the hot Bush, Lauren. We learned to love that little scamp, knahahmsayin’?

Pierce, 20, is a student at the University of Texas in Austin. And, oh yes, he’s on Facebook. After the jump, what may well be the political scion Facebook mother lode. Bud light, bitches, and scantily clad bums — don’t say we never did anything for you.

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