Awhile ago, a few months ago, at least, some boring consulting group, “CLSA,” invited Sarah Palin to come and speak at some annual consulting conference, in Hong Kong. This was only interesting in so much as Sarah Palin was inevitability going to cancel. So naturally everyone forgot about the fact that this was even happening, because what even is Sarah Palin, at this point? Well guess what, it is time to UNFORGET about it, because CLSA would now like the MSM to know that this will be a secret speech about secret things that will not be leaked on the Internet, at all, so everyone should just go ahead and reforget about even trying to report on it. “We are not disclosing the topic of Sarah Palin’s presentation at this point,” said Simone Wheeler, CLSA spokesperson and future plaintiff in what is sure to be a comical breach of contract suit against Palin. [CNN]

On Tuesday, September 8th at 11 AM (8/11), Barack Obama will be taking the teevees of our nation’s classrooms by force for what can only be described as purposes of communism. Most of America’s Good Parents have already said they would not be sending their school-aged children to school on this day, but Texas school districts will be taking NO CHANCES and are stepping in to ensure that whatever suck-up nerd retards bother to show up anyway will not be seeing that speech. MORE »