Wonkette

Former President George H. W. Bush will deliver the keynote address at a ceremony honoring the Washington Times’ 25th birthday this May. Also appearing: Times founder the Reverend Sun Myung Moon, who, you might remember, is the Messiah. And the King of the Ocean, but it’s in his role as the Messiah that he goes around demanding churches throw out their crosses and start worshipping him instead. MORE »

Boy, just when you think Reverend Sun Myung Moon — cult leader, Messiah, owner of the Washington Times, and king of the ocean — can’t get any weirder, he goes and becomes a shark poacher. MORE »

Now we’re officially scraping the bottom of the holiday news barrel, because we’re going to invoke that goddamned National Zoo baby panda we hate so much, Sun Myung Moon or whatever it’s called. MORE »

On the off chance anybody is working in DC today, here’s something to do that’s more work-safe than cruising Casual Encounters: an hourlong video about Washington’s Favorite Newspaper Publisher and King of the Universe, the Reverend Sun Myung Moon! MORE »

* Everyone wants to have dinner with Condi, but no one wants Bush’s sloppy seconds. [Akron Beacon Journal] MORE »

* Having returned from his cosmic vacation, “The Rev” orders The Washington Times to get with the times. [Metroblogging DC] MORE »

* Convenience, Value, and Service for speed freaks with just a little Kafka-esque hassle for everyone else. [Cruel Sommer] MORE »

Ten kinds of crazy going on in this Chicago Tribune piece about Reverend Sun Myung Moon and his, uh, stranglehold on the sushi industry. Yeah, we didn’t know that one either. So, as the tipster who brought this piece to our attention noted, every California roll you eat helps subsidize the quality, money-losing journalism of the Washington Times. And who knew cornering an industry could sound so simple? MORE »