Wonkette

God, David Brooks is a sap. His new terrible column is addressed to God — “God, Republicans are saps.” — and then it drags out some tortured split-personality analogy (”Dr. Barack” and, uh, “Fast Eddie”) that is supposed to suggest that Hopeful Obama is also an ambitious politician and may be “in it to win it.” MORE »

The Internet is a computer-based system that constantly baffles dumb people who use the Internet. This tragic fact was proven again today when our favorite website, “Country Above Self,” excitedly announced that Wonkette had shamefully removed all the Wonkette posts calling “Country Above Self” a virtual home for the retarded. MORE »

E-MAIL OF THE DAY: “The video of the child being attacked by the animal is very offensive, you jerks.”

According to deep background sources (our commenter “Serolf Divad”), the printing-press laborer who wrote that terrific op-ed about Obama being a Muslim Fundamentalist who will piss on the graves of Ground Zero might really be NYT star Bill Kristol. Think about it.

Ha ha ha, the President made a hilarious joke about not being able to speak our language correctly, which is only funny if you missed the past seven years. Still, it was funnier than the time he made a PowerPoint about not being able to find WMDs in the Oval Office.

When you suck as badly as George W. Bush, not even the GOP candidates will mention your name — unless it’s an insult. And yet, poll after poll finds that 30% of Americans who can manage to pick up a ringing telephone say they approve of this miserable presidency. Who are these people? They’re the people who write angry messages to the Worst President Ever website, that’s who. MORE »

So we were looking for this picture, again, and decided to google “George Bush Confused” and sure enough there’s like 2 million search results so we will pretty much click any YouTube link for anything and now we have this weird, kind of embarrassing moment from the 2004 campaign, maybe? Assuming he ever leaves the White House, we may one day look back in a sort of nostalgic fury and say, “Oh my fucking god do you remember when the president was an actual retard?”

Confused George Bush [YouTube]

OMFG the nerve of that sonofabitch! Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wants to see the World Trade Center “Ground Zero” site in NYC! [WCBS/Fark]

The new Wikipedia scanner thing has revealed what we pretty much always suspected: The world’s political, religious and media leaders are about seven years old, on average. By matching anonymous edits to Wikipedia entries back to the office computers where they originated, the scanner is able to match up particular changes to particular organizations. For example: MORE »

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