retards

It’s time for a special late-night edition of Oh Dear God the Glenn Beck People Are Still Trying To Comment On Wonkette. But first, a special contribution to the “Tea Party Racists Will All Listen To NPR Now” post from the other day. This person wants us to know that it’s okay to be racist, […]

Which pea-brained clown will become the new chairperson of the Republican National Committee? Whether it’s the dingbat woman dreaming of getting wasted at her kitchen table again or the lunkhead who just keeps barking “Reagan! Reagan!” when asked if he has ever read a book, all five of these mouth-breathing imbeciles are perfect representatives of […]

A sad new study makes that whole “DREAM Act” defeat a little more tragic: More than 80% of Americans trying to join the Army can’t meet the very low minimum requirements. The first 75% gets immediately disqualified “because they are physically unfit, have a criminal record or didn’t graduate high school.” That second pool is […]

FEDERAL LAW TO REINTRODUCE ALL SORTS OF NEW JOKE POSSIBILITIES: “Senators are preparing to eliminate all references in federal law to the terms ‘mental retardation’ and ‘mentally retarded individual.’ Rosa’s Law, which will be marked up on Wednesday, would replace those terms with ‘intellectual disability’ and ‘individual with an intellectual disability.’” In other words, federal […]

We had not heard about this! Has “other we” (Ken Layne) brought it up? Not enough time to look through the archives, COPY-PASTE: “Actor Lance Baxter, otherwise known as ‘D.C. Douglas,’ currently known as the man who informs you how much Geico can save you on car insurance, left a message last month with FreedomWorks […]

Rick Sanchez is so stupid that other teevee anchor people are embarrassed for him. Here’s CNN’s most comical idiot saying that Iceland is “too cold” for volcanic eruptions, because of course volcanoes depend upon the surface air temperature to heat the lava and ash deep below the Earth’s crust. That’s why “long words” like Hawaii […]

The recent very serious edition of the Washington Post tackled the question of Retards: what of this word, “retard”? Are there perhaps pros and cons to the word “retard,” and can we divide the competing arguments into two page-filling columns, from “retard” experts? What can the art department gin up for a “retard” debate?

Clarence Thomas skipped the State of the Union so he could sit on his sofa and soak his feet in a bucket of “self-loathing black man.” [Weekly Standard] Most Improved Wino Nancy Pelosi spent 100,000 smackaroos (USD) on vodka nips and airplane pretzels. [RedState] We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the […]

Racist television goblin Lou Dobbs revealed a very scary story earlier this week on his radio show (he’s on the radio, too?). Three weeks earlier, he claimed, his New Jersey mansion was shot at while his wife was standing outside, and this came after “weeks and weeks of threatening phone calls.” Never one to rush […]

Here is overrated piece of performance art Michele Bachmann suggesting on the House floor last night that, you know actually, if you look at the first letter of the first word on each even-numbered page of the latest iteration of the Democrats’ health care bill, it spells out the following: “CHILDREN, TEENAGE CHILDREN, COULD BE […]

Okay everyone just hold on for just one sec, we have a REQUEST FOR A RE-DO from Trent Franks, some sort of struggling freelance Congressman who called Obama an “enemy of humanity”: “Bethany Haley, spokeswoman for Franks, said the congressman was referring to ‘unborn humanity’ and should have clarified his statement.” HA! Like four seconds […]

The Blackwater news was, what, two years ago now, and we’re still inexplicably allowing these creepy private security companies to not only take the helm “guarding” major war zones, but to do so without *any* military supervision or need to adhere to basic laws or standards of conduct? Well THANK GOD this is the case, […]

This is just over the top. He even puts a Presidential Seal on it — wait till the election’s over, please? Anyway, to see the whole Presidential Bracket, check out this Washington Post article and READ THE COMMENTS. They are very concerned about the President promoting gambling with this popular American ritual:

There were always two of them, at America’s favorite comedy blog, National Review Online. It was the Rule of the Two, as written by Dark Lord Reagan, on Dagoba. “Kathleen” would be a clever writer and kind of funny and attractive, although still a terrible Fascist, and “Kathryn” would be, well, “K-Lo.” Obviously, the smarter […]

Well, we’re convinced! How about you, communists? Here is an idea: After the election, or maybe even tomorrow, let’s shut down the Internet. The whole thing. Top to bottom. The money’s gone, fun’s over, time to look for sharp sticks in the yard and defend your garage from weirdos. Let’s do it. [YouTube]