Yesterday, conservative columnist Bob Novak ran over a pedestrian who flew on top of his windshield. Then Novak sped away and, when captured, pretended that he had no idea. The police gave him a $50 ticket. Maybe in this economy that’s a lot, hmm? Anyway, the victim was originally reported as a 66-year-old pedestrian, but according to new information, he is actually an 86-year-old homeless guy who remains in the hospital. The Main Stream Media continues to conceal the truth, which is that the victim is a 72-year-old homeless doctor martyr named Ron Paul. [Washington Post]

• LOOK, HE’S STILL ALIVE OK?: From the intrepid local news team at ABC 7 News: “The pedestrian who was struck by prominent Washington columnist and commentator Robert Novak is in worse shape than first thought, a hospital source tells ABC 7 News. The victim, a 66-year-old man, appeared somewhat incoherent, said the source who had seen the victim. The man appeared to have casts on his neck and back. The victim was X-rayed and a surgical team plans to evaluate him, the source said.” The police should take note of the severity here and strike Novak with a harsher penalty. They gave him a $50 ticket earlier? Make it $65. NO — GIVE HIM A $90 TICKET. [WJLA]