Tag Archives: Restaurant

  the butter has ways to shut that down

In Bid For Worst Boss Ever, Paula Deen Shuts Down Restaurant Without Telling Workers

As if Paula Deen weren’t already just about the worst person in the world you could work for, now we find out that she’s also among the worst bosses you could ever not work for. First there was that discrimination and harassment lawsuit — a story which we are contractually required to remind you was broken by Yr Wonkette. And while the suit was eventually dismissed, Deen’s teevee show was cancelled she lost her big-money endorsement contracts. Then Thursday morning, Deen suddenly closed down Uncle Bubba’s Seafood and Oyster House, the Georgia restaurant that she and her idiot racist brother Earl W. “Bubba” Hiers Jr. owned together. And just to add that extra dollop of shame-butter, employees at the restaurant didn’t find out about the closure until they showed up for work. We are beginning to think this Paula Deen is not an especially nice lady. Read more on In Bid For Worst Boss Ever, Paula Deen Shuts Down Restaurant Without Telling Workers…
  a shot in the dork

Responsible Kentucky Gun Owner Wounded In Heroic Shootout With Toilet Paper Dispenser

Today in Responsible Gun Owners, a Kentucky gentleman with a concealed carry permit had a minor mishap while using the restroom. The unidentified man was answering the call of nature in a restroom at Fazoli’s restaurant in Elizabethtown, Kentucky, when he set his handgun on the toilet paper dispenser, because that’s an excellent place to put a loaded weapon. It slipped from the dispenser and went off, shooting the man in the leg. Read more on Responsible Kentucky Gun Owner Wounded In Heroic Shootout With Toilet Paper Dispenser…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekend Wade Through The Wasteland

Greetings, worthly wokette skum, and welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, our weekly barf bag of bits and bytes that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite enough to do a full post on. This week, we’ll start off with an update on an update to a story from 2011: John Pike, the infamous “pepper spray cop” who treated protesters at Occupy UC Davis to a casual serving of capsaicin-tinged brutality, has reached a settlement with the university in his workers’ comp claim. Pike will receive a total of $38,056 in compensation for depression and anxiety he experienced after getting death threats related to his actions. Just to add a little extra dollop of derp to the story, it turns out that Pike, who was at least fired, is receiving a larger settlement than any of the people he pepper sprayed: In January, UCD agreed to pay $1 million to settle a federal suit. Twenty-one plaintiffs who were sprayed or arrested were to receive $30,000 each. Another 15 who also had claims approved were to be paid $6,666 apiece. So there you go: Justice is blind, probably because of the chemical irritants sprayed in its face. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekend Wade Through The Wasteland…
  class-war trump-style

Trump’s Vegas Restaurant Gains Popularity Among Bacterial Culture Community

Best American ever or BEST AMERICAN EVER?!
It’s been roughly twenty minutes since our boy Donald Q. Worthington Trump has been in the news, so here’s some background in case you’re unfamiliar with the underreported saga of everyone’s favorite honey-tinted quaff: The Donald is a massively successful businessman who owns pretty much everything you could imagine owning. Trump is also a popular dissident against a government so radically Socialist it prevents people from being free and owning things. He mastered the art of smelling Kenyans in the late ’90s atop a mountain in Nepal, huddled around a stack of King magazines while sniffing sample patches of sandalwood cologne. Since then he’s achieved enlightenment, reaching the level of MASTER BIRTHER. And he would have been President too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids and their stupid dog. So what’s The Donald up to now? Sticking it to the LIBRIL FASCISTS by ignoring those pesky and oppressive laws that require restaurants to serve people safe food, that’s what! Sure, the Trump International Hotel in Las Vegas had its steakhouse shut down temporarily after logging 51 health code violations during a regular inspection, but can you prove they weren’t planted by the Obama cartel? Besides, we’re positive it’s still the best place on The Strip to mumble about government takeovers with a mouth full of moldy yogurt. Five stars for that, right? Read more on Trump’s Vegas Restaurant Gains Popularity Among Bacterial Culture Community…
  mother schmucker

Joe The Plumber II: The Bidening

You will remember 2008, yes? When “Joe the Plumber” seized the nation’s imagination and served as the nation’s templar for our hopes that there was a secret groundswell of angry anti-Obama voters who would make the race close and give reporters something exciting to cover on Election Night? And then how none of that happened and McCain lost in ignominy and Sarah Palin was not our first hot lady Vice President? Well, Joey the Biden went back to Toledo (where Joe the Plumber is completely failing to run for elected office), and was confronted by an eater at a restaurant who TOTALLY OWNED HIM and maybe that means that Ohio is close and Obama won’t win maybe? Read more on Joe The Plumber II: The Bidening…
  food/booze news!

Kids Don’t Eat Free In the District, Even If It Saves Lives

Thursday, June 11: DC has a few issues — high dropout and teen pregnancy rates, an AIDS epidemic, never-ending nonsensical violent crime — but there’s nothing that a cooking competition can’t fix! Get some kids in a room, have them cook a meal made of “surprise’ ingredients,” make some top DC chefs judge the thing, and next thing we know Adams Morgan will be as safe and shiny as Manhattan! Read more on Kids Don’t Eat Free In the District, Even If It Saves Lives… Read more on Kids Don’t Eat Free In the District, Even If It Saves Lives…