Tag: Resignations

This is how I felt after I freed the slaves!

Congressmuffin Aaron Schock: I, Like Abe Lincoln, Am No Longer In Congress

The House Of Representatives is going into recess for two weeks, which means that ethically challenged CongressCheeks Aaron Schock had to do to his "So Long, Farewell" speech a few days early. Schock had previously promised to resign effective...
Call him irresponsible...and he will DESTROY YOU.

Oh, NOW Bill O’Reilly Thinks Irresponsible Words Can Inspire Violence

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Bill O'Reilly would just like to see a little more responsibility on the part of the media in how they cover sensitive issues, because as he's recently discovered, language can have consequences! In a...
The other chyron for the story: 'Street Justice: Police officers shot in wake of DOJ Report'

Fox News: Eric Holder Really Should NOT Have Shot Those Cops In Ferguson!

While two police officers were still hospitalized after being shot in Ferguson, Missouri, early Thursday morning (they have since been released), and police have no suspects, Fox News and other rightwing sources have identified the true culprits: Attorney General...
Nothing all that funny

Two Police Officers Shot In Ferguson, Wingnuts Certain Shots Came From White House

Two police officers were shot in front of the Ferguson, Missouri, police department early Thursday morning. The shootings occurred hours after Wednesday's resignation of police chief Tom Jackson, as protesters near the police department called for additional resignations in...
A bit like the end of Close Encounters, only with tear gas.

Just About Every White Person In Ferguson Resigning For Being A Racist Disgrace

The fallout continues in the city of Ferguson, Missouri, following the Justice Department's report on how the city pretty much ran its police force as a revenue-collection operation aimed at transferring money from black citizens to the city's general...
So long, farewell

Girl Secret Service Director’s Resignation Is Obama’s Latest Attack On Women, According To Idiots

Secret Service director Julia Pierson has resigned over the recent rash of security breaches around the president and the White House. This leaves us with just one important question: How long will it take the wingnuts to blame Pierson’s...

Arizona Republican Resigns Just For Trying To Save America With Rice And Beans And No Babies For Poors

Russell Pearce is a man with a vision. He is also a man with an AM radio show. The recalled Arizona Senate leader, architect of the "papers please" immigration law -- and, until his sudden resignation late Sunday night,...

Pennsylvania School Administrators’ Texts Not All Racist — Some Were Sexist, Too

The Superintendent and the Director of Athletics and Activities for the Coatesville Area School District in Pennsylvania both "unexpectedly resigned" during the first week of school this year. Turns out that they had been trading racist texts on their...

Pretty Much Nation’s Only Black Lady Republican Official Resigns For Being The Griftiest

That is too bad that Florida's Lieutenant Governor, Jennifer Carroll, had to resign for being sooooo shady. She is pretty! And sometime we get lesby-rumors and accusations (lesbysations) about her! Those are both good things! But, wah-wah, unfortunately Jennifer...

General Services Administration Head Resigns Over Taxpayer-Funded Vegas Bonanza

General Services Administration head Martha Johnson and two cohorts resigned or were butt-kicked out the door Monday over some really hilarious spending habits of Our Money! What is a General Services Administration? Ms. Johnson might not have even known!...

Olympia Snowe Waited By The Phone For Years For Obama’s Call

Very grumpy Maine senator and recent quitter Olympia Snowe is not gone yet, sadly. First she must say that the reason why she is quitting politics is because President Obama made her feel rejected and ignored. In an interview...

Sexy John Ensign Resigns!

Corrupt horndog John Ensign is quitting on May 3 as Nevada's "other senator," because the Ethics Investigation against him is about to pull out some really slimy dealings. Good-bye, John! You were a terrible senator and you continue to...

Inspiration To the Insane Carl Paladino Not Going To Run For Chris Lee’s Sex Seat

Tea party-backed 2010 GOP gubernatorial nominee Carl Paladino won't run for the now-vacant seat of former Rep. Chris Lee (R-N.Y), instead throwing his support behind state Assemblywoman Jane Corwin (R) should she run. In the wake of Lee's quick resignation...

John Boehner Really Tried To Get Chris Lee and Others Not To Have Affairs

Wow, that Chris Lee sure resigned fast, eh? For perspective, Larry Craig was arrested for trying to have sex with a man in a public bathroom and finished out his term. Which was months, not hours. The thing is,...

Robert Gibbs Resigning, Becoming Part of Professional Left

We did it, you guys! We defeated Robert Gibbs with our restless coverage of his LEGO-based terrorism when there was nothing else to write about last week! Yes, Mr. Robert Lane Gibbs, famed White House press secretary, is leaving...

Mike Pence Quickly Quits House Leadership To Run For President

THE WEEKLY STANDARAD has obtained a letter from Mike Pence, who is believed to be considering a presidential or gubernatorial run, informing his colleagues that he will not seek another term as chairman of the House Republican conference. "Now...