Tag Archives: resignation

  Think Global Act Loco

Resigning Oregon Gov. Kitzhaber Gonna Go To So Much Jail Maybe (Because He’s A Democrat)

He still looks nice on Facebook, though
Oregon Gov. John Kitzhaber may be resigning effective Wednesday, unless he changes his mind again, but he and his fiancée, Cylvia Hayes, still have a big ol’ pile of legal problems. Both the state and now a federal grand jury are investigating the two for all sorts of possible corruption, ranging from the state’s clean energy policies to a proposal for a new coal terminal at a port. For one thing, maybe they’ll figure out how those things go together. The feds subpoenaed a broad range of state records from the state on Friday, not long after Kitzhaber announced his resignation. Read more on Resigning Oregon Gov. Kitzhaber Gonna Go To So Much Jail Maybe (Because He’s A Democrat)…
  All 'Guess He's Ore-GONE' Comments Will Be Deleted

Oregon Gov. Kitzhaber, Vowing To Never Give Up, Never Surrender, Resigns

What good is influence if you can't peddle it?
Well, this is completely unanticipated! Oregon Gov. John Kitzhaber has resigned, just days after announcing that no way in the world was he going to resign, which of course was obvious code for “Yeah, call U-Haul and reserve a truck for this weekend.” He was sworn in for his fourth term as governor just a month and a day ago. Read more on Oregon Gov. Kitzhaber, Vowing To Never Give Up, Never Surrender, Resigns…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Oregon Governor Definitely Resigning Or Maybe Not, Who Knows?

Rachel's WTF? muscles really get a workout in this segment
Rachel Maddow takes on the increasingly strange story of Oregon Gov. John Kitzhaber, who has reached a crisis point in the continuing scandal over the shady financial dealings of his fiancée, Cylvia Hayes, who is under investigation for alleged pay-to-play deals with companies doing business with the state. Virtually all the top elected officials in the state, Democrats like Kitzhaber, have called for him to resign. Tuesday saw a bizarre cross-country odyssey by Secretary of State Kate Brown, whom Kitzhaber called to come back from chairing a meeting in Washington DC, to meet with him. Very Urgent. And then he seemed surprised when she walked into his office. He told her he was definitely not resigning, and then said they should probably discuss the transition from his administration to her becoming governor if he does. Which he said he wouldn’t. Read more on Morning Maddow: Oregon Governor Definitely Resigning Or Maybe Not, Who Knows?…
  And Yet The Wu Tang Klan Continues To Get A Free Pass

Non-Racist Texas School Board Member Posted SO MUCH KKK Stuff Online

This never ends well
We suppose this counts as good news, at least in the end. Chris Harris, a member of the Hooks Independent School Board in Texas, has resigned after posting multiple racist images and messages to Facebook last week. He later explained that he wasn’t racist at all; he just got a little worked up in a Facebook discussion of the grand jury’s decision not to indict Darren Wilson in the death of Michael Brown, which is a perfectly reasonable explanation for why Harris posted this image in the discussion thread: Read more on Non-Racist Texas School Board Member Posted SO MUCH KKK Stuff Online…
  God Tells Congressional Aide To Lay Off Teenagers

Klassy GOP Lady Real Sorry For Calling Obama Daughters Skanks

You’ve probably heard by now about the bravest American in America, who bravely shamed first daughters Malia and Sasha Obama for disgracing themselves and America and mom and apple pie by being teenagers, standing around like a couple of teenagers, making bored teenage faces at their dad’s lame dad jokes, like a couple of teenagers. Can you impeach the president’s daughters? Or at least sue them or something? They’re repeat offenders, even. Read more on Klassy GOP Lady Real Sorry For Calling Obama Daughters Skanks…
  Ira We Hardly Knew Ye

Ira Hansen, Your New Favorite Nevada Wingnut, Already Calls It Quits

Goodnight Sweet Dunce
Just after we proclaimed him our favorite new wingnut and looked forward to a 2015 full of brilliantly idiotic quotes and policy positions, Nevada state assemblyman Ira Hansen has announced that he will not become Speaker of the Nevada House of Representatives after all. Read more on Ira Hansen, Your New Favorite Nevada Wingnut, Already Calls It Quits…
  Shell Shocker

Mitch McConnell’s Campaign Manager Quits To Spend More Time With His (Alleged) Bribe Money

Oh this guy, what a joker
Looks like Senate Minority Leader and Supreme Chelonian Overlord Mitch McConnell is going to have to find himself a new campaign manager after the sudden resignation of Jesse Benton, who will now have more time to hold his nose and wait for Rand Paul to snap him up for 2016. It might be a long wait, what with the guilty plea last week by Ken Sorenson, a former Iowa state senator who admitted taking bribes to switch his endorsement from Michele Bachmann to Ron Paul shortly before the Iowa caucuses in 2012. What the what? How is bribery in the Iowa caucuses two years ago connected to Yertle’s Senate hopes? Let us connect ye olde dots for you! Read more on Mitch McConnell’s Campaign Manager Quits To Spend More Time With His (Alleged) Bribe Money…
  the cat came back

Disgraced Sex Furry And Ex-Congresscritter David Wu Still Haunts Halls Of Congress Like Sad Lost Soul

You guys probably remember the weird story of former Oregon Rep. David Wu, whose embarrassing departure from Congress Wonkette never mentioned because he’s a Democrat, right? In 2011, Wu was accused of an “unwanted sexual encounter” with a friend’s 18-year-old daughter, and resigned in disgrace, although ultimately no charges were brought. (Wu claimed the sex was consensual, like they all do.) So what’s he been up to since then? Buzzfeed’s Kate Nocera says he’s been wandering around Congress and DC like some former high school football player who can’t stop “dropping by” the old school three years after he was expelled. David Wu, don’t you know that the Matthew McConaughey character in Dazed & Confused is not a role model? Read more on Disgraced Sex Furry And Ex-Congresscritter David Wu Still Haunts Halls Of Congress Like Sad Lost Soul…
  The Lannisters Send Their Regards

Virginia Democrat Takes The Perfectly Legal Bribe Money From Republicans, Runs

We have a new entry into the coveted Wonkette Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Award! His name is Phillip Puckett, and he was until very recently a Democratic state Senator from the Commonwealth of Virginia. That is, until some GOP senators gave him this nice bunch of cash for his daughter’s wedding a real nice job, and one for his daughter too. A bit of background: Virginia’s governor Terry McAuliffe (D-former DNC chair) is trying to push through the tyrannical Obummercare Medicaid expansion, and his plans rested on a razor-thin margin in the state Senate. Take it away, WaPo. Sen. Phillip P. Puckett (D-Russell) will announce his resignation Monday, effective immediately, paving the way to appoint his daughter to a judgeship and Puckett to the job of deputy director of the state tobacco commission, three people familiar with the plan said Sunday.[…] The news prompted outrage among Democrats — and accusations that Republicans were trying to buy the Senate with job offers in order to thwart McAuliffe’s proposal to expand health coverage to 400,000 low-income Virginians. This, kiddos, is how the corrupt sausage gets made. Virginia Republicans went to their dog-eared copies of The Necronomicon, found which of Virginia’s state Senators was the most cravenly self-interested piece of shit of all, and then cooked up a tit-for-tat for him. And as far as Yr Wonket can tell, it is all perfectly legal. Read more on Virginia Democrat Takes The Perfectly Legal Bribe Money From Republicans, Runs…
  only a slightly bigger mess than postwar iraq

Eric Shinseki Falls On Sword After V.A. Scandal, Will Have To Wait 3 Months For Treatment

Eric Shinseki resigned this morning as Secretary of Veterans Affairs, so all the problems at the V.A. are probably fixed; expect his replacement to be unacceptable to Senate Republicans, or for wingnuts to call for Barack Hussein Obama himself to step down, or at the very least to tell the truth about Benghazi and repeal Obamacare. Read more on Eric Shinseki Falls On Sword After V.A. Scandal, Will Have To Wait 3 Months For Treatment…
  a matter of principled apathy

Wonkette Supports Your Right To Ignore Sebelius Resignation Altogether

We just watched Barry Bamz on the cable a moment ago, saying farewell to HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius and introducing his nominee for the cabinet position, Sylvia Burwell, and we also watched Rachel Maddow’s kinda spluttery reaction to the resignation last night — she worried that the resignation, a week after the announcement that Obamacare Open Enrollment was successful, was like a sports team “stop[ping] halfway through their victory lap to fire the coach.” And Yr Wonkette just wants you to know that we fully support your right to pay no attention to this story altogether. We will not burden you with minute examinations of the scattered chicken entrails of Sebelius’s resignation: Was she forced out? Did the right wing win? Is she leaving on a high note? Is this a feather in Obama’s cap, or a big black eye? Read more on Wonkette Supports Your Right To Ignore Sebelius Resignation Altogether…
  'florida man' strikes again

Cokehead Trey Radel Resigning From Congress To Spend More Time With His Coke

Florida congresshoover Trey Radel, the “hip-hop conservative” who went and got himself busted for cocaine possession back in November, will resign today, according to pretty much everyone. His letter to Speaker John Boehner says, “is my belief that professionally I cannot fully and effectively serve as a United States Representative to the place I love and call home, Southwest Florida.” He said that 2014 has already “been tremendously positive as I focus on my health, family and faith.” In other words, god only knows what horrible revelation was just about to come out, BYEEEEEE. Read more on Cokehead Trey Radel Resigning From Congress To Spend More Time With His Coke…
  wow so guns such liberty

Idaho’s Convicted Rapist Legislator Will Resign To Spend More Time With Family, Guns

In a rare instance of a teabagger recognizing reality, Idaho state Rep. Mark Patterson announced Wednesday that he will resign from the state legislature by the end of the week. Patterson, you’ll recall (no need, now, haw haw!) was the guy who covered up a 1974 guilty plea in a rape case, an inconvenient detail that he left off his application for a concealed weapon permit. Patterson then accused Ada County Sheriff Gary Raney of revoking the permit because Raney didn’t love the 2nd Amendment enough, and as revenge for a stupid bill Patterson had sponsored that would have punished law enforcement officers who enforced any hypothetical federal gun bans. And then we all had a good laugh, because it turns out that under Idaho law, all state legislators are entitled to carry concealed weapons without a permit anyway, because in Idaho, we love our goddamn guns. In keeping with Idaho law and tradition, the remainder of Patterson’s term will be served out by his gun. Read more on Idaho’s Convicted Rapist Legislator Will Resign To Spend More Time With Family, Guns…
  my little phony: patriarchy is magic

Anti-Gay Anti-Girl Crackpot ‘Quiverfull’ Leader Resigns Following Affair, And Also It’s Tuesday

Happy Blowvember, everyone! Yet another rightwing “pro family” leader has  resigned after an extramarital affair; this time around, it’s Douglas Phillips, former president of “Vision Forum Ministries.” In a seriously icky resignation statement, Phillips writes There has been serious sin in my life for which God has graciously brought me to repentance. I have confessed my sin to my wife and family, my local church, and the board of Vision Forum Ministries. I engaged in a lengthy, inappropriate relationship with a woman. While we did not “know” each other in a Biblical sense, it was nevertheless inappropriately romantic and affectionate. “Inappropriately romantic and affectionate,” eh? We’re guessing “road head.” Because it’s Blowvember after all. Then again, is it inappropriately romantic to do it in the butt? Read more on Anti-Gay Anti-Girl Crackpot ‘Quiverfull’ Leader Resigns Following Affair, And Also It’s Tuesday…
  stay harassy san diego

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner To Resign, Pursue Private Sector Opportunities In Sexual Harassment

As part of a mediation deal in his sexual harassment lawsuit, San Diego’s creepy harassment Mayor Bob Filner is expected to resign Friday. Filner was seen removing boxes from City Hall yesterday and loading them into an SUV, so it appears that he will not have to be escorted from the building by Security. It was not known if he had the boxes’ consent to have his hands all over them. Read more on San Diego Mayor Bob Filner To Resign, Pursue Private Sector Opportunities In Sexual Harassment…
  a plague o' both thy houses

Ancient North Carolina Lady Resigns Senate To Personally Register Every Voter Herself

Progressive state Sen. Ellie Kinnaird resigned her seat in the North Carolina Senate Monday so that she can work on a project to register voters and help ensure that people get proper ID so they can vote despite the state’s idiotic new voter suppression laws. Can we nominate someone for Legislative Badass of the Year even though she came to our attention for leaving the state legislature? When it’s a body as thoroughly awful as this year’s North Carolina General Assembly — our first whole-legislature nominee for Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year — then leaving is probably the smartest move. Read more on Ancient North Carolina Lady Resigns Senate To Personally Register Every Voter Herself…
  got his cover blown

Drudge Sirens: Gen. David Petraeus Resigns CIA Due To Spying … Between The Sheets

CIA Director David Petraeus has submitted his resignation, admitting that he’d had an extramarital affair and had exercised “extremely poor judgement.” Petraeus is likely to be replaced on an interim basis by deputy CIA director Mike Morrell, according to Administration sources eager to reassure Americans that the CIA will continue to send killer robots to rain death upon the nation’s enemies. Read more on Drudge Sirens: Gen. David Petraeus Resigns CIA Due To Spying … Between The Sheets…
  you can't fire me i quit

The Totally True And 100 Percent Not Fictional Resignation Letter Of Rep. Thad McCotter, For Real

You guys, we are starting to worry about former vanity presidential candidate and guy currently working from the Third Street Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf just like every other pilot-shopper, Michigan Congressman Thad McCotter. He resigned from the US House last night following “a nightmarish month” and his letter is just, how to say, Holy Cow? It is flowery and high-flown. It rends its Clothes and tears its Hair. It sweeps grandly forth into the Future while shaking its Fist at the Deceivers of the Past. For it has suffered Calumnies and Indignities, and probably merciless Savages also too! It is, ladies and gentlemen, the final missive of Rep. Thad McCotter. Read more on The Totally True And 100 Percent Not Fictional Resignation Letter Of Rep. Thad McCotter, For Real…
  let's try this again

New Hampshire House Majority Leader Will Keep Resigning Until He Gets It Right

Maine New Hampshire House Majority Leader D.J. Bettencourt is super sorry he is such a lying shitweasel, and also so very lazy and slothful and piggish (all three). And in Maine New Hampshire, apparently, making up 11 weeks worth of detailed entries for the law internship you only actually spent one hour on is enough to get you dragged screaming from your lofty perch in the Maine New Hampshire leadership! At least when the law internship is with J. Brandon Giuda, a fellow Republican who, weirdly, does not resemble the crusty old coot we imagined when picturing the kind of Mainer New Hampshirite who would force a fellow GOPpy to resign from the House over pathologically lying his way through a little paperwork. Anyway, Giuda saw a Facebook picture of Bettencourt graduating from law school, and he had himself a righteous holy snit. FACEBOOOOOK!!!! He demanded Bettencourt resign from the House for “personal reasons,” and then fink on himself to the law school; instead of placing blame on himself and his “personal problems,” though, Bettencourt blamed the resignation on his upcoming wedding. Giuda was not nearly satisfied with such a weaselly resignation, one that sought to hide how “dishonorable” he was, and made Bettencourt resign again. Read more on New Hampshire House Majority Leader Will Keep Resigning Until He Gets It Right…
  naked people and the things they do

Naked New Jersey Politician Becomes Latest Victim of Cell Phone Camera

Louis Magazzu has just resigned from the esteemed position of Cumberland County Freeholder in New Jersey, after his seXXXy naked pix were e-mailed or Twittered or something. At this rate, we are probably in the audition phase of some sort of nude self-portrait calendar for the political set. Read more on Naked New Jersey Politician Becomes Latest Victim of Cell Phone Camera…
  another one bites the dust

Barely Legal Furry Sexytime Topples Weirdo Rep. David Wu After All

Well, that was fast! Furry sex aficionado Rep. David Wu announced he will resign after the debt crisis negotiations are over (hahaha, so actually he means “never”) because of this sexytime incident with the 18-year-old daughter of his high school classmate that we heard about only a few days ago. Hooray, Congress is down another creepy pervert sex predator! Only several hundred more to go, we guess. Mostly we feel awful for the young woman that Wu sexed, for obvious reasons. We are also sorry for Nancy Pelosi, who has been spending a lot of her time this summer forced to listen to Democratic lawmakers talk about their sordid peen problems. Oh well, adios to the only member of Congress who will never be remembered for anything besides wearing a homemade Tigger costume, for America. Read more on Barely Legal Furry Sexytime Topples Weirdo Rep. David Wu After All…
  delusions

‘Upbeat,’ ‘Positive’ Hairsuited Moron Blagojevich Forges Ahead

Rod Blagojevich, the fifth Beatle, was arrested just three days ago for being a comical idiot who got caught on tape swearing his face off while plotting to sell Barack Obama’s vacated Illinois Senate seat. But he’s not letting anything like an arrest and national humiliation get him down, oh no! He is upbeat and positive about, uh, ignoring all the polls that say he should resign, because a terribly disgraced and effectively powerless governor has many important things to attend to — things he cannot possibly hope to affect in the slightest! Read more on ‘Upbeat,’ ‘Positive’ Hairsuited Moron Blagojevich Forges Ahead…