republicans
WOAH HEY, how did an intelligible phrase sneak into the stream of notoriously incomprehensible re-imaginings of the English language that we are usually treated to on Senator Chuck Grassley’s Twitter feed? Did science up and find a cure for “teabagger?” Kind of! It’s known in this case as “hacking.”
What are the Christian wingnut conservative Republicans doing about 2012 now? Uniting behind Santorum, of course! Because when you’re stuck with a slate of candidates including a liberal billionaire foreigner who loves the wrong Jesus and a repulsive kidney-shaped punching bag who is so venal and amoral he makes Bill Clinton look like a family [...]
For anyone out there who continues to be nauseated by Newt Gingrich’s lifelong pattern of deception, adultery, selfishness and cruelty toward his wives, you’re just looking at it wrong! What his affairs actually demonstrate, when you really think about it, are his psychological strength and fitness for office. Huh? Oh come on now, Slate, you [...]
What a thoroughly entertaining news cycle we have been treated to lately! It has been all about two things that combined form one of the most powerful sedatives in history: Mitt Romney and tax returns. Mittens continues to not yet release his tax returns out of a tight-lipped genteel horror at everyone knowing exactly how [...]
Organizers of Wisconsin’s effort to recall remorseless demon Scott Walker from office are said to be dumping three thousand pounds of petition signatures off with election officials today per the collection deadline, hooray! Scott Walker is taking the news exactly like the comical cartoon villain that he is, and he immediately flew to New York [...]
SHAME on your Wonkette for forgetting to follow up on the final results for the 9th thru 87th place finishers in the New Hampshire GOP primary! Well anyway, here is the “important” part: the (openly) gay dude beat Michele Bachmann! She quit the race several days before the primary of course, but that is SO [...]
One of the dimmer stars in the galaxy of indignities that Arizona’s teabagger governor loon Jan Brewer has wrought upon her dominion is the fact that she sold off the state’s capitol to a bunch of private investors in 2010 to raise some quick cash and is currently only leasing the government’s office space, which [...]
NO we have not yet entered the 2012 general election phase of America’s ongoing destruction, but YES, it is time for a Wonkette drinking game, because how else was anyone planning to survive the hailstorm of dildos raining Apocalypse and Gloom on our nation from the New Hampshire GOP primary tonight? Yeah, WE THOUGHT SO. [...]
KNOWN FACT: Unemployed people are lazy and refuse to get jobs. Why else would South Carolina’s unemployment rate always be hanging out around ten percent? So here’s an idea from the state’s Republican lawmakers: if the jobless don’t want to work for money, they should at least be legally required to work for free, right? [...]
For many years we’ve been predicting the Republicans would eventually run an actual muppet for president, and that dream came true when Michele Bachmann ran for the GOP nomination. But since she quit, are there any other bug-eyed bits of cloth and foam and wire that could act stupid and crazy during the primaries? Yes, [...]
Who is this crazy lady who isn’t allowed to get out of her truck until her husband first gets out and says his piece about why he is permitting her to run for office? She’s Kathy Peterson, Republican candidate for President of the Alabama Public Service Commission and wife of briefly famous redneck and failed [...]
Ready to ruin your Saturday night? Then please join us, as we liveblog the New Hampshire ABC News secret-handjob 2012 debate. Let’s hurt together, the way Santorum would want Jesus to hurt us, should we accidentally have the buttsex. Mitt Romney, known as “the guy who is really spending a lot of money to be [...]
Here’s a bit of hilarious congressional procedural warfare we will type about to avoid posting whatever additional lunatic opinions Rick Santorum has expressed in the course of the day: House minority squad captain Nancy Pelosi led a small army of six kamikaze Democratic representatives in a storming of the chamber floor to stage some kind [...]
