Wonkette

Oh hey look it’s the one human with a soul who ever worked on the McCain campaign, and he quit, a million years ago. Here he is at that Politico/Annenberg Skool panel talking about the time Al Gore’s BlackBerry nearly stole the election in 2000 by calling for a RECOUNT, which is the word you can’t hear at the end of this clip because our video editor (NEWELL) likes to keep things mysterious. [YouTube]

Oh well, what the hell, here you go, interviews with Alaskan reporter Bill Scannell, Reason editor Matt Welch, BlogAds boss Henry Copeland, and your Wonkette editors. It is all dark, as is life, the end.

Here is the story of how John McCain picked his running mate: after Barack Obama selected Joe Biden instead of Hillary Clinton, McCain went on a six-day Nyquil bender and at the end of it slurred, “Get me one of them wimmins.” He had always had his heart set on another salty warmonger like himself: Joe Lieberman. But conservatives hated Joe Lieberman for being an abortionist, and there just wasn’t enough room on one ticket for such a terrifying abundance of old man cheeks. MORE »

When this whole hurricane thing happened, millions of Republicans breathed a sigh of relief: this “tragic” weather event gave such national embarrassments as our president and vice president a natural reason for skipping the party convention, out of respect for the people several thousand miles to the south who did not drown this time. But even though President Bush will not be at the Republican National Convention in body, he will be there in mind, through the magic of space robots! MORE »

The Republican National Convention has brought truckloads of new visitors to the Twin Cities — and with every event getting canceled in honor of the poor black people who didn’t get killed in the hurricane yesterday, veritable dozens of GOP males were left in their swank hotel rooms with nothing to do. Let’s find out what happens when a bunch of closeted, discreet hairless dudes go looking for good clean fun on Craigslist … MORE »

The best part of this comical ABC “Money Trail” clip about Republican politicians partying with lobbyists during The Hurricane comes early on, when the Republican pol covers his face in a feathery pink boa soaked in the goos and sludges of venereal disease. And all because of a wee wittle camera. [YouTube]

Live from the Xcel Energy Center! Uh, Laura Bush! She spoke, softly, and a giant video Rick Perry appeared, telling the very sparse crowd that he was going to save the poor people who maybe got flooded. He was standing by an airplane! MORE »

The beloved UTNE Reader rented out an entire brewery last night, and your Wonkette joined many other media dorks for fun and hijinx. Here’s UTNE web boss Bennett Gordon, a bunch of people, some guy with his hand down his pants, and a blurry character who writes for Wonkette. More pix after the jump. MORE »