Hey everybody, some birthers are just wandering around various Senate and House office buildings, bothering the shit out of staffers and interns, and then twatting about it, on the Twitter. David Weigel, the Stephen Crane + Ernie Pyle × Martha Gellhorn of the Tea Party-Birthers Wars, has the whole collection of retardation, go look at it and laugh, for America. [Washington Independent]

Remember Judd Gregg, the New Hampshire RINO who accepted a top job in Barack Obama’s Politburo and then melodramatically refused to actually take the job, like some emotionally unstable goth teen? Well he is back, sort of! The grandstanding old cocksucker went on CNBC to bitch about “Cash for Clunkers,” a government rebate plan with broad bipartisan support and popular acclaim that accomplishes the neat trick of getting polluting old jalopies off the road while keeping the car companies alive during these last tough months of the Great Recession — because this brief and helpful program will obviously cause the United States to become a “banana republic in 10 years.” This is what Judd Gregg said, on teevee. MORE »

GOP rising star Eric Cantor has apparently heard about this little problem with his party — you know, how the “Republican base” has gone batshit insane, because they hate the coloreds so much that they’ve decided no matter what, Barack Obama isn’t “really” president because there is something fishy about his virgin birth in Bethlehem 6,000 years ago, because we all know a colored cannot be president of White America. Cantor’s solution: Blame the librul media! MORE »

Sarah Palin is so super-maverick-y now that she won’t even honor her vow to make a speech at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, where she was scheduled to speak at the Simi Valley Republican Ladies Group Fund-raiser for Republicans, a very widely reported exciting event that was to be her first public appearance since just quitting the governorship of Alaska because fuck those people, right? MORE »

It’s a good thing National Review isn’t a Real American business that need to make money or anything, because otherwise it would go broke after the outrageous decision by its libtard editors to publish a long, detailed and sane deconstruction of the Birther Conspiracy. Of course, none of the NRO cowards would dare sign their actual name to such an outrage against Ron Paul’s Constitution, so it’s just signed by “The Editors” — French for “le pussies.” Really, look at what these socialist zeroes are writing about Nobama: “Like Bruce Springsteen, he has a lot of bad political ideas; but he was born in the U.S.A.” MORE »

Did you see Sarah Palin’s goodbye speech? Neither did we! But we heard it was “special,” and that she even wrote it herself (which explains everything). Here’s Star Wars hero Dr. Spock reciting Palin’s mumbo-jumbo, with bongo accompaniment! [Conan O'Brien]

ALEX PAREENE ON PALIN’S INSANE GOODBYE: “It’s like Peggy Noonan, Jack London, and William Faulkner wandered into the woods with three buttons of peyote and one typewriter, and only this speech emerged.” [Gawker]

The most recent angry Republican to get caught sending an offensive email about the president wants to make it clear, as usual, that he didn’t mean to offend anybody, and in fact “the image has nothing to do with my feelings or thoughts on any race or culture.” He wants to focus on stopping Obama’s health care reform proposal, which should be totally easy now that the whole world knows him as “another racist wingnut” rather than “that neurosurgeon with (kooky) ideas about healthcare.” [TPMMuckraker]

We’re in a weird time, folks, a very weird time. Here, psychotic near-dead Watergate burglar G. Gordon Liddy rasps and mumbles as a pretty pissed-off Chris Matthews tries to drag this particular racist night worm of pathetic American thought into the light. Good fucking god, we are really on a cliff here.

South Carolina, what a poop pile, right? It is no wonder the governor, Mark Sanford, never wants to spend any time in that goddamned place. Have you ever been down there? It is this awful fetid swamp, most of it consisting of nuclear waste dumps (in the rivers!), and one-in-five adults are jobless, forever, when things are “good.” Really, who can blame Sanford for wanting to jet all over the world all the time, banging rich latinas? He’ll even go on European Holiday with his hated wife and children, anything to get the hell out of South Carolina. MORE »

Yep, the Earth is still here and the Internet still exists, so that means yet another Republican Activist has been caught sending terrible racist anti-Obama bullshit to his racist Internet pals. It’s funny, that’s why! Meet wingnut anti-health-care-reform Tea Party idiot Dr. David McKalip … or, better yet, don’t meet him! Just read about him, and shake your head, sadly. McKalip sent around a hee-larious image of Obama’s head and face — with a bone through the nose, of course — photoshopped atop the body of a dark-skinned tribesman of some kind. Underneath the picture is a very comical “Obama-Care” logo featuring, of course, a hammer and sickle. Click MORE if you need to see it. MORE »